Day 78 - Searching for Self

I've trained my mind to look deeper into most everything in search of some unifying answer. Making the connection that joins two parts of the puzzle yields as highly sought feeling of euphoria. It's like my purpose. In this moment of idolizing myself, it's like a timeless moment where I am seeing myself in the past and the future. I'm not in fact living presently, here. I'm in my mind as I experience these thoughts and this divine feeling of fulfilling my purpose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to idealize my expression within a definition of grandeur within the idea that I am more that what I appear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am more important and more significant than any other part of this whole.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the other, within a stance that I am more, I am greater, I am safer, I am more/less able. Who I am is not who I've thought I was my whole life. I am you, as me as we as all as life as one and equal...you get it yet? Through aligning myself to the interest of what's best for all, I am aligned to our true perspective as one. I forgive myself for ever accepting and allowing myself to forget that I am an equal participant in this whole of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself within and as fear.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continue to fall to spite the common sense solution.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself in the future as perfected and one with all, where in I can rest comfortably as "I've made it" and "Now, I'm safe/finished" There still exist this desire to be done, to get to point B. This is my experience of anxiety. To just get to the reward at the end.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to anxiously race toward the finish so that I may just revel in the prize, not realizing that the prize is the journey, one and equal to the end, the beginning. All point considered. Here, is home.

...to be continued.