Day 348 - Ctrl+Shift+SF Cheat Code

I originally sat down to write this post about how I've been doing the typing of self-forgiveness and kind of cheating within it, but then I realized that this point is not just about that. There is a depth of reason for why I have not yet shared this point and it comes down to: guilt.

Slowing it down, instead of saying "I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to..." (typed as such keystroke by keystroke), I had been using a program to do this for me so all I had to do was hit a key combo.

So ctrl+shift+a = I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to

&  ctrl+shift+q = I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to

And then I just alternated as I felt like it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to .....

and I never allowed myself to really admit to myself what I was doing by using this shortcut. And I certainly didn't ask anyone else because then I would risk exposing what I didn't even want to admit to myself. That my little time saving SF shortcut was actually preventing me from moving through the self-forgiveness as an authentic self expression. And just as in process, moving slower is moving faster, and moving too fast is obviously slower in the long run.

So when I finally did muster the courage to ask my DIP buddy about this point, she laughed. Then I laughed too. She just confirmed what I already knew on a level within me where self-honesty was not yet functioning. This happened just over a month ago, and it's been actually a nice change. It might take me just a tad longer, but the quality of the SF statement has changed from a simple surface point (the kinds of points addressed when moving too fast through life), so a bit more specific and thorough (the ideal way to live, with common sense and self-honesty).

I needed to formalize this point above and had been meaning too since I had that chat with my buddy about it, but there were other points that I wanted to write about. I actually started getting backed up on so many points that I wanted to write about that I started a list of blogs to do, but after writing yesterday, I've decided to write about what's here, what comes up in a moment. And this automated SF shortcut was one of the first things that I had long ago placed on the list of blog topics to do, and I'm in "getting things on the list done" kind of mood these days. So now,

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to cover up and hide the fact that I was doing self-forgiveness on an automated level because I wanted a fast and easier way to do this tedious process. I see, realize and understand now that this entire process (not just self-forgiveness) has no fast and easier way. It's a simple equation of 1 + 1 + 1 ..., as a physical process of accumulation. A short cut is a mind thing...and oh my goodness how I could (and later will) expand on this....McDonalds...saving money...porn....you name it. So, I commit myself to continually remind myself to slow down and look at just one point at a time, and see all the movements and relationships that bring about a particular behavioral design.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to move fast.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to use the shortcut key combination program to quickly rush through the repetitive part of a self-forgiveness statement. In this I realize that I am not moving with the words as I type them, and the effectiveness of the words that I've automated is lost in a moment that never existed. I commit myself to type out each letter of my self-forgiveness statements, unless I have a clear, directive decision to read the statements out loud in the circumstance of structuring a sounding session.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to move fast and do multiple points in one blog, and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that if I do not address all the points that come up within a single point at the same time, that I will lose the opportunity to do so. So, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing the moment overnight while I am sleeping. I also forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear becoming overwhelmed with many/other points and thus become ineffective.

I forgive myself for becoming overwhelmed, and then accepting and allowing it.

When and as I see myself wanting to address multiple point in one blog, I stop I breathe. I realize that by slowing down and being thorough with just one point could take a lot more time than initially anticipated. I commit myself to being thorough with one point, and as other points come up, to jot down a note somewhere and come back to it in the next blog or whenever. I am the directive principle of self here.

I commit myself to write about the guilt realization within this, tomorrow.

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