Day 70 - Resistance to process

sadness
photo credit: patries71
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become overwhelmed by the specificity and detail that is required of self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself from facing myself so that I don't have to have moments of self-honesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from being self-honest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought 'this requires a lot of hard work' in relation to my process of self-forgiving each and every point that I have defined a relationship to that is not based in equality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach the thought of 'equality' to the polar experience of myself where I am relating to another as inherently less than I, shaping the experience of false superiority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that self-forgiveness is 'too hard' when in reality, it flows rather easily once started.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and turn away from the starting point of writing a post to this blog by consuming my time with distractions like video games, food, marijuana.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to intentionally suppress the point of smoking weed in such a way that only I know what I'm allowing myself to do, and within that justify the behavior as not having to be held responsible or accountable in that manner.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to cling to past definitions and fear losing qualities of my personality that are embedded into my past as positive memories.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to try to run and hide from myself...by only glazing the surface / doing the bear minimum of self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attach the feeling of tiredness as an outlet for delaying facing myself through self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become tired when I force myself to write.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become scared by the extensive amount of application that lies ahead of me. And I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to specifically fear that I am not doing self-forgiveness correct enough, so that I fear I am wasting my time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am wasting my time and effort by doing self-forgiveness because of doubt within my application.


When and as I see myself turn away from the moment of applying self forgiveness with a doubt that I can't be effective, I stop I breathe.

I realize that practicing self-forgiveness is the key. "Fake it, until you make it" style, I must push through the up front resistance to become proficient within my application of this process.

I commit myself to pushing through any and all self-inflicted resistance to my process.

I commit myself to staying focused and on task within the DIP course.

I commit myself to working through resistance and making a continual effort in being self-honest.