I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wander about within the domain of mind/thoughts, not realizing that I am giving up my authority as who I am as life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hand my life over to the programmed thoughts patterns of this one world mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take responsibility for my participation within consciousness, and instead seek for external points in reality to blame and separate my self-definition from. Attempting to run from who I've accepted and allowed myself to become.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continually smoke marijuana and support this consciousness wandering. Yeah, I just went there. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I more enlightened when I smoke weed because it makes me feel good, and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to support others' minds, as they're minds are one with my mind. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to just consider the positive aspects of wed and to ignore the negative ones. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to participate in my mind differently, without taking control myself, and so turn to weed.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become side-tracked, and to continue down that side-track that was inspired by the distraction of my consciousness, indicating that I was not present here, directing myself from the physical reality. *For more info about the difference between self direction and mind direction starting point, start investigating this desteni stuff with me.
It's free to write yourself to freedom.
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When and as I see myself thinking, I stop I breathe.
I realize that my thoughts as consciousness is a distraction from me, here.
I commit myself to continually recognizing when I am thinking in separation from the present moment that is here, and through this I commit myself to stopping the mind. No more mind control. I am here in every breath, so why do I keep giving me up to my mind?? I commit myself to stop giving myself up to the mind. ..This is going to be a long journey to life.
I was under the impression that to breathe you must use your mind. Hence, I am confused by your perceived dilemma.
ReplyDeleteAlso, are you distracted by your consciousness? Or is your consciousness what you are aware of and your "subconscious" rather is what is distracting you?
Good to see your keeping this up
-R. H.
when we become aware of our breath, we aren't thinking. When I think, I'm not also aware of my breath. For more perspective on this, check out this link: http://wiki.destonians.com/Breath
Deletethe subconscious can be distracting, but in this post it was my conscious thoughts that I was trying to hone in on. As I continue to slow down, my thinking is more clearly that, so I can more easily notice when I am not present because I am thinking. Let me know if you have any more questions for me, Mr. R.H.
Forgot to respond but luckily I was just thinking of this an hour ago when I took a bike ride. Hmmm, your response and the link you gave me intrigue me. There's a lot of times where I don't think, I call it spacing/zoning out but what I mean is either I'm daydreaming or I'm just...looking, listening, and breathing (literally). When I'm acting on the latter, there are a couple of things I am aware of (aka think of):
Delete1) I'm breathing and I appreciate my life (usually "at the moment" as opposed to "my life as a whole) and I appreciate my senses
- sometimes this compels me to draw a series of memories that typically make me appreciate life more (even bad memories - a sign I'm over them)
2) My mind is blank. No color, no thought that is not pertaining to emotion, no substance. Whatever I look at or hear is just background noise or images, no mental stimuli (not that it never happens). My mind is clear, nothing, nonexistent.
- as a result, all I believe I focus on are my physical senses and pure emotions
3) If looking and listening hasn't compelled me to think, than its probably cause I'm looking at something I can't explain or there's nothing much to say about it (I say the latter about a lot of things though)
- a reigning example: nature is fucking beautiful and grand. Scary sometimes, but beautiful. That's all I think when I'm in awe of some view of nature. Does that count as thinking?
- the flip side: I'm in a city, lots of people, too many to pay attention to all.
4) My pure emotions are summed up by a sort of joyous gratefulness, sometimes slight but sometimes stronger. A younger me called it "grace," and that's pretty much how it feels - like you been saved from something that you don't care to remember or think of anymore, like your happy as shit just to be a life form on earth so you could revel in nature's beauty and listen to something soul-lifting
So that being said, am I breathing? or am I thinking? Whichever it is, sharing that feeling with others is my endgame. But what the fuck is it? Am I just happy to escape to a place where I can appreciate everything at once without any effort of thought? Am I just thinking that I'm happy for that moment in which case that means I'm creating "falsely based" emotions?
Or is it that thinking and feeling require a sort of balance because thinking all the time destroys any practical physical feeling and breathing all the time prohibits the mind to realize anything beyond its functions of survival? One sounds like a stressed fool, the other sounds like an animal.
Just giving you my immediate thoughts w/o trying to go (too) overboard.Of course, even with my questions, Im not trying to guide you to an answer. I'd appreciate your two cents, Mr. Malara
also, what do you think about this? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialogical_self
ReplyDeleteinteresting, this reminds me of what I wrote about in this blog on Day 52 - People in my head. Internal conversation that serves to position myself in society is something I really used to indulge in. What I've noticed about this pattern is that it's typically fear based, and reality never matches the character interactions I have in my head. Thanks for the link.
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