Day 60 - Fear of Rejection

Today, I spent the my time campaigning to raise money for The Nature Conservancy. I noticed a familiar pattern that's held me back from freely expressing myself for as long as I can remember. I now see this as a mode of interaction where my starting point of my expression is in my mind, fearing an unfavorable outcome. This happened countless times in courtship, and it really sucked to have my confidence diminished before I ever gave myself a chance. Fear of rejection/failure is closely related to my perfectionist complex. None of this mind garbage is supporting what's best for all, so here I commit to living the correction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being rejected because this implies that I rely on others to validate my stance, and so

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to doubt myself in such a way that I make it near impossible for anyone to believe in me...I suppose that in these moments, even I don't believe in me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not believe in myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to align my stance to something that I do not believe in. This compromise for money is not how I want to make money. I commit myself to stand for what's best for all life, unequivocally.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear imposing onto others a moment of discomfort when they must reject me. This fear of mine is mine. How others respond and react to me is not my concern unless it is part of the equation of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cower in fear of rejection when attempting to present my best self, especially when interacting with attractive females. It's silly.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to negatively judge myself in reaction to when I do not succeed in presenting a mind-tailored version of myself.

And, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try to alter my presentation to achieve a goal that isn't openly agreed upon. There is no reason I can't be straight forward with folks unless I'm trying to hide something...so it makes no sense that I would continue the habit of convoluted communication when I have nothing to hide. Honesty with self and others, do it.

When and as I see myself operating within fear and self-doubt during normal human interaction, I stop I breathe.

I realize that when actions and words are aligned with what's best for me and all, they are pure and need not to be preconceived.

I commit myself to staying present with my breath and my words during human interaction in the physical realm.

I commit myself to recognizing the pattern of fearing failure/rejection within my personality based in perfection so that I may patiently walk out of it and into a real, authentic living expression of myself as what is best for all life.

Utilizing the tools of self-honesty, self-forgiveness, and self-corrected & directed application, I take a stand for all, as me; one & equal.

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