I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project a future, imaginary scene of others giving me praise. And in this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in this energy movement for a desired experience of myself in relation to others because of a root fear that I am not enough by myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project a future scene of others humiliating me, and so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that my expression will not be accepted/liked by others, reaffirming the fear that I am not enough.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to control/manage the ego levels of myself and others so that I could be in the best position for personal gain/security.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to recklessly seek to achieve a desired amount of praise/self-praise by putting others down by invalidating their words/worth.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stubbornly cling to my opinions to avoid humiliation, and not see that I'm just prolonging an increased effect thereof.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not openly accept all forms of humility through the realization that only my ego can get hurt, and I am not my ego, yet one and equal to it. Breath by breath, walking out of it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not freely accept praise, and believe that I need to redirect or transmute that praise-energy, because my ego wants to be specifically placed as high, but not much higher than the other(s) in the room.
So, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in this survival-of-the-fittest-ego game, and not realize that limited conception of self is a waste of my time. Any part of me standing for anything less than what's best for all, must and will be investigated, to find the root fear behind the thought/feeling/emotion and delete it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the picture comparisons I have of myself with others, thus defining my separation from others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget that I am one with everything and that I only started separating myself when my mind consciousness system first booted up with pre-designed fear points.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe in the separation of self and other so that I can protect my learned ego/insecurities. Here I am, as I was, when I am. I can't trust my self-conception because it's unstable and I wasn't born with one. I am alive now, as I was then, when I was birthed.
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When and as I see myself attempting to direct or redirect praise-humility energy, I stop I breathe.
I realize that handling this energy is an act of self-interest, and to just take it for what it is without getting personally involved is the non-participation and stopping of energy used to keep us "systems" charged and believing we're separate from one another.
I commit myself to stopping the energy of ego/pride/humility through recognizing it for what it is. And stand in alignment with what's best for all. Supporting all beings equal to myself.
I commit myself to stop seeking for the external validation of how I express myself, and to patiently unravel the related layers that have been restricting me as the full unconditional expression of me.
I commit myself to stop supporting myself as mind in the participation of and with this praise-humility polarity system. I am here. I am stable. I will stop all energy fluctuation within my expression.
And I commit myself to never again abusing this energy to place myself higher and to place someone else lower. And I commit to no longer holding myself in comparison to another in my mind for reasons that have nothing to do with what's best for all.
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