Day 136 - Self-Interested Assistance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place others before me within my own self-interest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that I am compromising myself when I place others before me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place a higher importance on specific other people where, in my self-interest, I cater to them so that I may preserve or create a positive self-image in the reflection of my self through their positive judgement.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to complete my work before I assist others with their work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to undervalue myself through placing others before me, where I often do not consider my own work's importance when I jump to help others.

This pattern has played out for a long time. Throughout school, my concern for my self-image created by the perceptions of my peers has been placed as a priority regardless of whatever work I had myself. Often, I would handle this time dilemma by staying up late and sleeping less.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to disregard my responsibility to myself to care for my physical health as well as completing work effectively.

When and as I see myself jumping at the chance to help others with their problems, I stop I breathe. I realize that I always have work to do, and by placing priority within my social interactions, I have been disregarding my responsibility to myself. I commit myself to budgeting my time within self-honesty as not to compromise myself for the positive judgement of others onto me.

I commit myself to showing others that I am responsible within this world as a whole through prioritizing self-responsibilities, and not compromising myself for creating a positive reflection of myself in the eyes of others for the purpose of feeling good that others like me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that others do not like me, and so jump on any opportunity I have to mold a positive self-perception by helping others.

I commit myself to helping others when it is appropriate and I have first helped myself.