I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide my thoughts/opinions about another in a relationship, essentially dragging it on within a fear of her opinion of my opinion.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that my plan to increase my attractiveness as the male ego is only taking me into consideration and not the other person, so I forgive myself for allowing me to carve the path for the ego as me with total disregard for the other individual as an equal being.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear speaking honesty in a relationship through the fear of compromising my ego-image of being liked.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place emphasis on me and my self image only within dating women, where I hide my true intentions that are self-interested.
I forgive myself that I allow and accept myself to support hiding within myself and the girl by spending time on the surface level and just allowing the backchat.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to enter into the backchat of my mind that is typically fear-based, and then not speak it to preserve my self-image.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to leave behind my awareness of the moment when with a girl as I go into thoughts of fear, insecurity and weakness. I hide these thoughts because they would compromise positive image of my ego that I believe myself to be and wish to project to have others see. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that who I am in the physical reality as touch and the words I speak is stable, and any fears that I have under the surface are of mind and not real.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to support the image of myself and the other, not realizing that by supporting our egos, I am supporting the lies and suppression in a journey into the common relationship. I forgive myself for not allowing me to unconditionally support what's best for all in every moment.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to get share the perspective of self-honesty and running agreements when entering a relationship in fear that I will not get sex and/or hurt someone's feelings.
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When and as I see myself leave the awareness of the physical to move into thoughts, I stop I breathe. When I'm with another, I realize that the backchat is not supporting what's best for both. I commit myself to slowing down my thoughts and speaking with self-honesty. The supportive points that I wish to share can't go unsaid, because that is the point where I am really supporting the dishonesty as movement into another self-centered relationship.
I commit myself to stop thinking about my self-image as superior and more important that supporting both equally.
I commit myself to uncovering, peeling back and revealing where I have hidden my true intentions within a relationship especially related to sex and ego.
I commit myself continue writing and sharing with others the points I find related to ego-oriented relationshiping.
I commit myself to the courage to share the 'scary' thoughts and push through the resistance to speak self-honestly, and when I am unable to do so, I commit myself to writing about the point to discover the fears in play and delete them with self-forgiveness.
I commit myself to stop worrying about how other's see me as this only supports the ego. Rather, I focus on breathing and speaking out of consideration for all and what's best for all.
I've already committed to self-honesty, so I commit myself to pursue the points where I still allow myself to be dishonest with self/other. This will take time, but this is not an excuse to support a standard relationship formation for unspoken self-interested reasons. PLAY IT SLOW DAN.
I commit myself to slowing down, and supporting myself with another within agreements to support each other as equals, as life.
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| photo credit: Joe Kou |
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