Day 128 - Embarrassed by my fears

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to see the details of my resistance toward facing my fears.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become embarrassed or ashamed of the fears that I've allowed within and as me.

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to stop the pursuit of getting to the root of my fears because I am afraid to admit them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being judged as "weak" or "fearful" when I consider writing about my fears.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that fear is manifested within me as layers over layers and that I must persistently work through the current layer of fear to consistently apply myself within this process of letting it all go through the writing of specific self-forgiveness.

When and as I see myself shutting down the self-investigation of fear because I am embarrassed to admit that the fear exists, I stop and breathe. I realize that I cannot remove the fear by suppressing it or denying it. I commit myself to push through this specific moment of resistance, so that I may continue to persist in decoding my fear constructs.

I commit myself to writing about how and why I am resisting to write about my fears (i.e. Today's post!)

I commit myself to examining the details of my resistances as not to allow them to overwhelm me into abdicating my responsibility of self-direction. I commit myself to stop simply allowing resistance/delay to take the wheel and steer me without consideration of Life and Equality therein.

I commit myself to taking that first step of admitting that I have specific fears so that I may face them. I understand that our typical reaction to fear is to hide it and this is because we don't know how to handle fear. Of course, I am speaking from my own experience and perspective. The experience of fear is uncomfortable, so the natural flow would be to shift out of it, ignore it, down play it, suppress it, sidestep or just refocus on something else with a more positive note. Now, I understand the pattern of re-emergence of fears, such that if I don't face them and forgive them, they come back. I commit myself to systematically facing fear, and to stop allowing energy to direct me into illusionary safe havens.

Commence mission: Face every fear.