Day 124 - Separation Shopping

I'm pretty much forcing this post out. I'm thinking of whether or not I should try to satisfy my greed character by participating in Black Friday. I see it as an adventure of watching consumerist zombies rampage, while I also fight to save a buck. So, it's like half entertainment, half work. It's a curious use of time. To willingly wait in line for the experience and maybe save some money, which is an interesting design of itself. It's like, somehow, if I think that I am aware of how They are controlling me, then it's ok to go for the deals. I hate the thought of supporting the consumerism character within me and of this world. And so,

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to negatively judge myself and others for contributing to the current economic platform that we've been conditioned to participate in.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realize or understand how I've been conditioned to participate in the spending of money on deals, especially on Black Friday.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from others with the thought that, "these deal hunters are crazy and weird."

I forgive myself for not realizing, accepting or allowing myself as one and equal with the crazy/weird deal hunters.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I am different from the crazy deal hunters through thinking that 'their out of control with varied levels of intensity.'

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see myself as equal as the statement of being 'out of control with my attraction toward deals.'

When and as I see myself separating myself from others through a judgment of a generalized population, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am simply making an attempt to separate myself from the negatives I see in others and others' behaviors to exist only within the positively ego oriented experience of myself. And so, I commit myself to stop allowing myself to separate myself from myself through the judgment of seeing people that have apparently lost control to the system whereas I have not. I realize that I too have lost control to the system where I see it in others as a reflection of myself. No separation.

I commit myself to understanding the aspects of myself within consumerism and the current economic system, and to no longer think that I am above it and in control. That is self-dishonesty. With my breath, I shall shop and assess my application of self-honesty within self-realizing specific points of allowed separation.