Today went well. I pushed through a shit-ton of communication resistance/apprehension. I started the date off with some tea and a game of chess before siting down to attempt establishing agreements. I opened my laptop and laid down the clipboard. First, we read a response from my buddy Garbrielle related to yesterday: Day 110 - Laying down agreements. Basically, she suggested to establish agreements with self first, and linked me in to some more agreement resources. You can see the post here: Re: Dan's Journey to Life. And she has a good point. I am a bit shaky with my self-trust and application of living agreements...I mean Day 111 of 2555 or seven years of commitment to publicly writing my life experience of self-realizing. The words stand. I stand with my words. Simple. Real.
And so our first practical living agreements were written out on real paper. It took a lot of effort to communicate shared points that we could commit to. The experience was an exercise in being vulnerable. To speak fear points openly enough to turn it into something on paper, is not a comfortable experience, but we got through it ok. I stumbled a bit, she was patient with me, understanding. Overall, it felt really good afterward. Expressing some fear points with another and doing so in a productive, written agreements kind of way had an effect of feeling closer, more comfortable.
I had to start sometime. And I will continue. I commit myself to working with self-agreements to a point of stability within my practice.
This is to be continued, it always is. Day-by-day, I write to figure out what's going on inside me, and sharing it with anyone in the world is just kinda cool.