The desires are the positive; the fears, negative. These illusions are created by our minds and seem as real as anything from the stance of mind. My ego wants this and judges that, and this is the mind-walk we've all been doing for a long, long time. Me as mind wants to survive and continue the positive illusions, though I want to abolish the negative illusions like fears and self-doubt. Our tendency is to run/hide from our internal fears by creating a positive, outward appearance for others to see, and when we get that feedback/validation, all is well. The fears are at rest because reality is 'proving' otherwise.
Self-dishonesty is the subtle hiding of these mind illusions. So, self-dishonesty is the continuance of the illusion. Self-honesty is stopping the allowed mental experience creation overlay onto reality, breathing and living with the entire physical existence, here.
So, our fears and desires serve to keep us locked in to this experiential overlay creating. To deconstruct each point is like peeling back union layers of suppression. As we've become accustomed to our suppressions, they are comfortable/familiar. We created our personality / self-concept from them. These fear/desire mind programs that we inherited are still our creation, and in self-honesty, this is apparent. So, by no fault other than my own, I am continuing the illusion.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distract myself from seeing the negative experiences of fear-based thoughts by covering them up though a movement toward a positive experience creation, not realizing that I'm perpetuating the illusion.
I commit myself to realizing how I am perpetuating the illusion and to become aware of when I am in my head and have forgotten about my breath.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be unaware of my mind within experiential creation, in separation of the awareness of my breath.
I commit myself to continue writing myself to freedom, on a daily basis, by working out the individual, specific points within my fear/desire illusions of mind.
When and as I see myself willingly continuing the illusion, I do not react with self-judgment. I realize that through writing the point out, I can work with it in physical space-time. I commit myself to slowing my experience down so that I stop jumping around from point to point in my mind and gradually align with the physical existence.
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