Day 93 - Doing work

It's time. I've long existed within a desire to work hard. 'Knowing' that I well could, is another justification that supports my inaction.

While speaking with a new friend about getting a job vs. making a one, I slowly realize that to make a job is the ideal that requires more work than I realize. Am I willful enough to take on the high workload of making a job? Yes. Why haven't I yet? Doubt and Indecision...a fear that I will make the wrong choice, 'wrong' being defined as anything less than the perceived utmost potential I imagine for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create and experience of fear in relation to underachieving.


That's a solid point. Let's continue:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowing myself to not realize my inert physical existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid facing the point of my worth ethic through the participation/indulgence in the 'feel goods' like video games, cookies, and weed.

My relationship toward the desteni material has been, passes all filters, don't quite get it, throw myself into it. Their message is finally becoming more clear thank to doing DIP. I am ultimately responsible for moving myself through space-time, or I'm giving into my mind. Doing work within DIP is actually helping me become a more efficient worker by assisting with me with my resistances like procrastination, seeing the difference between allowing my mind to do the walking vs moving with the physical. I'm not there yet, but I'm getting a sense for what life from the physical is like.

And so I will breathe, and direct myself. I'm going for the life insurance job. I'm going to DIP agent as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can't do both, and even 2-3 other side projects. If I direct my time and do work, instead of letting my mind direct my time, I will easily have the time to be more effective within any process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that it's too hard to do lots of work, instead of breaking down each point of my life within self-honesty and stopping the behaviors that don't make sense from the perspective of wanting to accomplish my goals.

Now if you'll excuse me, I got to get back to the zombie game on my phone...

Ok, so my priority alignment will take some time and dedication :)

I'll continue to work this out and report tomorrow. Thanks for reading.

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