Day 89 - My Age as Me

Day 89 makes me think of my birth year. It's weird to imagine that I'll eventually reach Day 1989, haha. That's when I'll really check to see how/if my age age defines me!

For my entire life, I've separated myself from others through my age. Older kids had more power, younger kids had less. This in itself is a fascinating perspective that I've never investigated. Adults have always been on another level, with their ability to handle any issues and create reality. I've separated myself from responsibility through this dimension of relating toward adults.I recall enjoying the inherent dominance that came with dating a younger girl. It made it real easy to control the reality of the relationship.

Age has contributed heavily in the experience of who I am. As I get older, it seems that my birth year is of less significance. Society agrees. I don't like society telling me how to experience myself. I was always a bit baffled by the perspective shifts from year-to-year as I matriculated through school. It was as if my peers and I didn't age, and the older/younger kids were always outsiders.

Here, I stop and breathe. I realize that I am in my breath as each human being. I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see this all along, that my age was limiting me within the in-group/out-group fear construct. Rather than honing in on how a different age equates to differences between self and other, I now commit myself to seeing all as equal within the equality of each breath of self and other.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my school mates, peers and adults with the differences in age holding some fundamental value.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place value differences on being older and younger. It's all relative perspective.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to treat others differently than how I would like to be treated myself based on age and how my ego felt accordingly.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within my ego in relating toward others of different ages, not realizing that they are the same breathing life as I.

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When and as I see myself ego tripping with age related authority-inferiority, I stop I breathe. I realize that each perspective is one, whole other perspective deserving equal respect as my own. I commit myself to be a living example of agelessness in my relationships toward others.

I commit myself to expand my perspective within my breath awareness and remove the bias that I am great or less then another being. I commit myself to recognizing when my ego is activated by age differences and humbling myself back to equality with the subject.

I commit myself to identifying all related points to in-group/out-group fear, so that I may patiently deconstruct all of them and stand stable in relation to all.

I commit myself to replacing the perceptual value of age with a perceptual value of the life within.

Thanks, and happy birthday.

cc