So, in creating the experience of ability to move however I chose in this moment, I've created the fear of losing it, which essentially translates to fear of settling down with a 'system' job. Behind this fear lies the sense of my creative character dying. All of the possibilities I've laid out in front of me, all those possible pathways to success, all requiring more work than was evident from this brief thought perspective, all amounting to nothing. I fear that in becoming effective in the current money system, I will lose sight of my dreams and they will die.
This is a crossroads or rite of passage that most go through, in varying circumstances. We settle for a job, placing our dreams on the back-burner. In seeing the pattern, I create the experience of fear and muster a drive to avoid this experience of losing my dreams to the system. I create the belief that I'm different, that I can do both and actualize my dreams while making money...all that is required is a creative, unyielding approach to every problem. Steadfastness.
This mentality of working tirelessly and efficiently is a highly desirable trait for companies. So, if I desired to work for a company that I'm not fully behind, I could position myself to increase the total value of the company. No doubt in my mind that I can become of value to an organization. The thought follows, that a smarter person would create his job. The entrepreneur. A favorably defined role. Someone who takes the lead and trail-blazes his own path.
Today, I am faced with a system job opportunity. One I have never before considered. With a very competitive product, the name of the game is sales. Can I get my clients to see the value? Can I make their decision easier with the facts? This communication skill was the focus of my college study, but I get a bad vibe from sales. Why? Others. People in my past, existing as memories, spawning my thoughts, based on self-judgment as the desire to be liked/likable.
Technically, selling life insurance fits pretty well with my system alignment. My dreams, as unfocused as they may be at this moment, have nothing to do with selling life insurance; however, I do want to develop the skill of conversational confidence while making money, that much is attractive. Also, there is a negative motivation, as pressure to begin a venture (can't live at home for free forever)..
This opportunity will require some more research and a good night's rest. Ideally, I will follow my dreams. Ideally, I will focus on one dream and actualize it in the physical reality. Am I ready to embark on this journey? If not now, what preparation is necessary? Time to stabilize and weigh my options.