The go-getter, the specific, the perceptive, and the collective. Today, I figured that instead of ending this thought train at the usual conclusion, 'I need partners,' I arrived at a different conclusion: me as all the parts of the organization of myself.
To bring it all back to self, collapse them into one I have to identify why I'm not already at maximum efficiency. Where are my fears/insecurities holding me back from realizing myself as each role in the organization of myself? I commit myself to figuring out each point where I allow my will to short-circuit. I commit myself to a new level of specificity within my work, and attention to detail that drives itself within and as me. I commit myself to continue humbling myself. As soon as I think I can see the whole picture, I cannot. And I commit myself to the collective as all as life as myself and others.
I forgive myself for accepting myself to separate myself from/into individual characters through the allowance of fear that I am not able to be all parts of myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am not all of me already.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my ability and have denied myself from myself as all parts of the whole system of an effective team, within and with all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing self to think and act within 'knowing it all,' wherein I participate in the feeling that I've grasped all relevant points and rob myself of my ability to see what I may be missing. I commit myself to stop thinking that I 'know it all.'
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to avoid the specificity of my application as/through the fear that in bringing my abstraction into the reality of specificity, I believe I am ruining or moving backwards from a greater, unifying concept. I see how this irrational fear is born of the mission to generalize information for making it more widely acceptable by others. I commit myself to, through specificity, really ground each concept from different angles, and by so doing, continue to open up myself to reveal what I've created of myself, so that I may bring myself back to myself, here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to reduce/diminish my will-power through the continual allowance of energy direction. I commit myself to keep catching myself within the energy of the mind, to stop and breathe, and redirect myself from a starting point that serves my best interests & yours.
This character development/round-up will continue. Stay tuned.