Day 91 - My relationship with alcohol

In discussion with a college buddy, I was trying to explain the primary perspective from which I reasoned the stopping of alcohol consumption: My cells.

I most often say "I stopped drinking alcohol, cause I figure, I am my cells, & my cells don't like it."

That's the simple honest version Sometimes it passes, sometimes I have to dig up more excuses to advert the peer pressure. I never was a big fan of losing control with alcohol, and there's a control point there. So, while I may also have the honest intention of "no longer supporting my mind with alcohol," I'm also covering up many related points from the relationship before I stopped drinking.

I used to drink primarily to lower my inhibitions and get the girl, and maybe it actually has become ..less easy to throw myself at a woman, but that in itself is a reason to not drink anymore. I don't want to meet and court under the influence...that's not a self-honest presentation of myself.

There is also a feeling of superiority that comes from a perceived possible judgment of others. As if I can't help but have the thought that when I reject the offer to drink with friends that they will think that I think highly of myself in comparison. This awkward feeling is my creation and I accept responsibility for it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have the thought, that others are judging me as superior to them through my choice not to drink.

I got to get back in the bar and hang out... soba style!

to be continued