Day 85 - Work Ethic

The organization of my work space is the first things that comes to mind when I consider 'work ethic.' When I break this down, I see the familiar pattern of justified procrastination. I typically tell myself that if my work space is clean and organized, THEN I can work. I hide from myself that cleaning my work space is the subject of that drive. Doing the actual work that I would like to do is a separate subject, though not in ever case, hence being able to justify the procrastination of the primary work task. I come to this realization through imagining the complion of my clean and orderly work space, AND feeling done. I also have the past experience of a few friends that exemplified having a strong work ethic and a very messy work space. I imagine that they have refined a mental work space and the physical environment only slows them down when it's not an excuse to not work, but the mess actually physically slows them down.

So my goal here is to clean up my mental work space, so that I no longer delay the work I intend to do with potentially related distractions. As I write this, I realize that the 'potentially related distractions' are based on an energy drive. I want to feel good about my orderly, physical work space. I want to feel good and so distract myself with media or other things that I have wanted to do. Take away the justification, and I'm running away from the negative experience of working on what I should be working on according to my intention.

This is a problem, and it has been for most of my life as a student. I used to say, "I'm most productive when I'm procrastinating my homework."

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only allow myself to be productive when I have a primary task to delay. Inside this point, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to frame distractions within a positive/desirable experience of productivity of accomplishing secondary tasks

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attach a negative feeling toward given work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate my given/primary task from the environment to complete the task effectively.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to follow into several layers of distraction and disregard the important/primary task that I have defined negatively.

This relationship toward my work has more to it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to delay my work and believe that I have better things I could be doing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resort to simple pleasure seeking within avoidance when I am faced with work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I can't do my work or that I won't do it correct/effectively and participate in this thought that directs me from a negative conception of doing work toward a positively defined task/distraction.

When and as I see myself moving toward a positively defined distraction, I stop I breathe. I realize that when I set a primary task, that only I can get in my way. I commit myself to discovering all the motivations at play when I am avoiding a primary task so that I may release the energy-charges that have taken control of my physical self-direction.

I commit myself to achieving a proper level of organization to complete my tasks effectively, recognizing when I go overboard and use organization as an avoidance strategy.

I commit myself to prioritizing and writing down the tasks of the day, so that I have a clear sense of my self-direction as to what exactly the primary task of the moment is.

Tomorrow is another day! I commit myself to not wasting time with energy definitions and excuses.