Day 176 - Point of Change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go on within the same pattern of media consumption and ignoring my daily task list.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accentuate this point of change, believing it has a residual power that is larger than I, the creator of this internal conflict/friction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not stand equal as the point of change and with all associated energies that contribute to my downfall.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not will myself to write about my limiting experience in that moment, and instead go deeper into delay.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that I am showing myself my accepted and allowed relationships through my habitual behavior patterns. I realize that I am my greatest teacher when I listen to my actions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not be mindful of my habitual patterns, and when I am, I forgive myself for allowing myself to accept myself within it instead of stopping, breathing, and moving through the resistance in the point of change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continue to follow the belief that "I have lots of time, I can do it later."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become angry with myself in self-judgment for repeatedly falling into a familiar and undesirable habitual, physical pattern.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to become equal and one with the point of change and all associated energies that contribute to the equation of my resulting behavior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to to just go with the flow of my mind's desire, a.k.a., take the easy way.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to be a fast learner to the point that I get frustrated with myself when I am not creating change within myself at a quick pace.

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When and as I see myself in self-judgment related to falling, failing, not learning quickly, or changing instantly, etc., I stop I breathe. I realize that my reaction toward myself is of mind and not assisting myself in standing one and equal with all parts and becoming the directive principle of my life. I commit myself to educating myself at a pace unrelated to anyone else's pace where in that I do not participate in reactions of being a (+)fast learner or a (-)slow learner.

When and as I see myself willingly accepting and allowing myself to waste my time without consideration of my daily responsibilities, I stop I breathe. I realize that this only really occurs when I do not set a hard time-stop agreement that practically places a limitation on pass-times for myself. I commit myself to commence an action plan so that I know where I'm going next and know what to do when my self-agreed amount of fun-time is over, so that I may practically direct myself instead of just going "ah, just one more game."

When and as I see myself acting recklessly with my time, I stop I breathe. I realize that this is a moment requiring brutal self-honesty to stand within and as self-change in relation to using time wisely. I commit myself to writing this behavior pattern our for myself to see clearly, disengage from it, and to continue to press on with this process of perfecting the self. I commit myself to stop allowing myself to hold myself back with feeling constructs that I do not understand. I commit myself to understanding all acceptances and allowances of/within my beingness and living the correction.

I commit myself to stabilize within the point of change, applying self-change effectively, and investigating when I do not.

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