Day 175 - Media & Entertainment
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not acknowledge how I am compromising myself through entertainment.
My biggest fall point in relation to getting work done is the satiating enjoyment of entertainment. Akin to zoning or spacing out, media allows me the opportunity to just let go and mindlessly consume mental stimulation. Here, though, this mental stimulation is not inherently bad. I am compromising myself because of the satiating factor: I long for it, I desire & fiend for it.
For example, drinking alcohol isn't the same as drinking recklessly. To enjoy a movie, television show, or video game responsibly is not the issue I am trying to capture here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in fear; fearing that I will not be able to overcome the desire to stop indulging in media/entertainment, placing the point outside of and larger than myself. This stops here.
To force oneself to stay in directive control is no easy process, yet it is entirely simplistic: Set goals, and don't allow self to deviate from the plan until the goal is finished.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my responsibility toward myself within setting a goal AND moving self to complete it, while assessing in self-honesty, when I deviate.
I realize that I can change my starting point within any application. I realize that I may allow myself to indulge in media & entertainment within a self-honest agreement with self. I understand that when I disregard my goals and responsibilities as I move into neglect as I indulge in media & entertainment, I am not being honest with myself and am creating a necessary consequence for myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see that I must stop my reluctance character, where I been disabling me from writing about this topic in fear of having to let go of that which I am not ready to let go.
This character design spans far and wide
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto my irresponsible behavior within media and entertainment usage, and holding onto the perception that I must completely stop if I am to face this point.
When and as I see myself engaging media/entertainment without a self-honest agreement with self, I stop I breathe. I realize this is the point of change. I commit myself to uncovering and disengaging this character that likes to hide from consequence within distraction.
Ok, this is just an opening for today. I will continue tomorrow with investigating the multidimensional aspects of how I've oriented toward the use of media and entertainment.