Day 258 - How can I make a Commitment more Real? Part 5

TO SELF, FOR SELF

There is a noticeable distinction between just typing a bunch of commitments because I need to get my blog finished by midnight vs. speaking commitments aloud, on my own time, for myself.

This brings up an interesting point: I've set a goal to write everyday and I've externalized this by placing a time for which I may allow myself to procrastinate until. Interesting how I have ingrained procrastination into my work ethic (stay tuned for blogs to come).

Speaking and actually meaning a commitment within a self-honest starting point, is vastly different, and I now realize how under-practiced I am at this. In a recent blog (Day 255), I committed to breathing before I write each commitment statement and made a note at how different that is than just streaming commitment sentences like a typing machine. I'm reiterating this point. I had a doubt that I would remember to do that, and today, I not only remember that commitment, I'm putting my foot down and solidifying this

I commit myself to realize who I am here in a single breath, with my attention on all that is here of me, when and as I make a commitment to myself.
--
Something else that just came up is how I've not been thoroughly considering what' going on inside of me. Like, I can't just go and commit to always living in alignment with what's best for all, when I haven't even given myself the chance to understand the conflicting forces that are at work.

(Breathing)
I commit myself to being patient with myself to understand what is at play inside of me. What is making a commitment challenging? Where am I, when I am not able to be consistent within a commitment? These sorts of things require attention before I go willy-nilly with commitment statements.

I commit myself to stop dishing out self-commitments like they're going out of style. This is me I'm talking about. Why shortcut myself? Investigate that DAN!!

I commit myself to becoming the director of my writing and my voice.

I commit myself to begin verbalizing, sounding my commitments and self-forgiveness.

When and as I see myself rushing through this process, I stop I breathe. I realize that I am doing myself a disservice by delaying/short-cutting within my JTL efforts. I commit myself to giving myself the time to really investigate all dimensions of each and every point.

This will take time. I commit myself to walking process. I leave you with a quote:

"Failure is delay, but not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead-end street."
- William Arthur Ward

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