Day 256 - What does Commitment mean to Me? Part 3

This is a cool perspective that I've recently contemplated. If I define commitment as something that stands indefinitely, I can apply this generalized statement to expand my perspective as I intend to do right now.

The first thought that popped into my head was the spoken word. They taught my in college that communication is irreversible and that resonated with me. You can mitigate and spin what you say, but once something happens, it has happened, and will always have happened. So, to think that I don't always consider the ramifications of what I say and do is a real bother. This was one of my key alignments with the Desteni message as well. I am the words I speak. I am my past actions and must take responsibility for them if I ever want to change how I live my life.

So, Commitment is simple. It undoubtedly stands throughout time. What are the implications of that? That indicates there is an alignment problem with all of the past commitments that I haven't been able to uphold? Why have I done that? Optimism. Not seeing the whole picture and all the dynamics at play. Like with the nail biting habit, I still haven't taken the time to investigate all the detail of why I start each movement. I erroneously clumped together a bundle of points and labeled them by a single physical manifestation. Why? Because anxiety seemed too big to take on...and who know what else I am missing? Well, I do.

I commit myself to the realization of my insight and ability to patiently walk through all relevant points until I can stand clearly within a commitment.

I get it now. I realize that self-commitments aren't something to just throw out in hope of self-change. Self-commitment is my living word. It is a tool to indicate to myself who I am. Great Scott! Behold the power!! Haha. Really though, if I continue with this bad habit of haphazardly writing self-commitments, I will prolong my process and deteriorate the the power of my spoken word. It's abusive. I will no longer tolerate myself wishing for my commitments to myself to magically/automatically take hold.

I commit myself to utilizing self-commitments as an extension of my beingness. And I realize that I will not be able to live out every commitment here forth in perfection. I must walk this process of consequence for all of the past abuse of my spoken word. Layers of self-doubt emerge nearly with my every move. Instead, I commit myself to recognizing which commitments falter, and to investigate the dynamics that lead to this failure.

I realize there is a lot at play, and especially as I dig deeper into the layers of my mind, I will need to have my self-commitment tool sharpened and functioning flawlessly. I so want everything to be done in an, "ok, I realize I'm one and equal with all life," the end. But at the same time, I am glad to pay penance for my sins by practically walking each point of myself into alignment with what's best for all. I dig the personalized challenge :)

Ha, and now I see that it is my mind that wants it all to be done in an instant, which acts as a fail-safe protective mechanism. Like with the nail biting, perfect example. I wanted it done in one moment, I can't maintain the temporary energetic 'change,' I become disappointed with myself as I live out my fear of failure. And so I spiral back into mind-controlled. A common sense, self-directed, lived application of myself through word and deed is the goal, and every moment of every breath is the measure.

So, human race, it's not a race. Who are you in a moment? Are you consistent?
Thank you.