Day 262 - DIP Lite Spot: Am I Special or Am I Not

I'd like to start off by sharing how great my experience with DIP Lite has been. I starting walking it along side the regular Desteni I Process and find it to be a awesome source of additional support. No matter what you're doing or where you're at in your life, I wholeheartedly recommend this free online course to learn about effective self-support through writing.

After my blog post yesterday (Day 261 - Why wouldn't I break through the wall?), I continued to expand on the fear of failure point within DIP Lite because my writing prompt tied in so nicely. Below, I've included a screen shot of what it's like to be on the inside of one of the modules. (Step 2 does not ask to place SF and commitment statements, I just felt like doing it) Click the image to go to the main webpage for the course!

In my life, I've noticed that the inferiority fear was the primary point that I reacted to in an interpersonal interaction. I've found that my desire to be more/greater was like a blinding self-interest, and I was simply not very considerate of others. In fact, for most of my life I've only cared about others as far as it involved me. If I didn't see the benefit to self, then I wouldn't really care. I was an asshole at times for certain.

It's interesting how this egocentrism has its root in being afraid of being less, unimportant, insignificant. Within upholding this self definition of being special, there is a desire to want to progress really fast. I even put on my resume "fast learner" haha. Identifying as a fast learner kind of implies that I am smart, better, more able than the average learner. Letting this self-belief go unchecked has more consequences than one would casually consider. I'll expand more on this fast learner character tomorrow.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only consider what directly affects me and solely benefits me in self-interest when interacting with others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how I've sabotaged many relationships by considering only myself within the belief that "I am special and matter more than others."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that it is difficult to be one and equal with everyone else.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can learn how to act in alignment with oneness and equality faster than others, not realizing that I want to maintain superiority within myself.

When and as I see myself within a "I am special" state of ego where my equal and one consideration for others is nonexistent, I stop I breathe. I realize how I am abusing my relationships with others to suit my positive self-image. I commit myself to flag point the times when I come off as rude, harsh, or just plain inconsiderate toward others to stop, breathe and check who I am in relation to another.

When and as I myself complacently being mean to degrading toward others, I stop I breathe. I realize that I am within a state of negativity that I do not even realize, and that breathing application is essential to bring myself back into a stable, considerate self. I commit myself to no longer allow myself to just go with it after I realize my superiority complex at play. I commit myself to change who I am in relation to another even if it might seem weird that I change my character mid-interaction with another.

When and as I myself justifying my superiority/specialness character with "ahh, it's too hard to change and humble myself," I stop I breathe. I realize it's as simple as that.  I commit myself to flagpoint every moment I tell myself that I can't change, step down, humble myself for any reason (I.e. embarrassment, shame, anything that could deteriorate my reputation and specialness), so that I may investigate where I am still holding onto a pattern of personality that is strictly self-interested.

When and as I see myself attempting to hold onto superiority through being special, I stop I breathe. I realize that there is nothing wrong with having a superior skill set, but if I subscribe to the illusion that I am superior in ways that are not valid, that's not chill. I commit myself to educating myself in reality and stop thinking that I know everything already. BS. Will continue with this point tomorrow.

Thanks for reading :)