Day 428 - Unconditionally Walking Process Support

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only support myself conditionally in process - based on the preferences of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get sleepy when I sit at my computer to work on my DIP course material, and not recognizing this as the veil of resistance it is, and believing that I don't have enough energy to get through it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I need more energy to move through resistance, instead of realizing the strength I have within a single breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to prefer to walk process only when it's easy and convenient to do so.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the support I receive as inadequate or irrelevant, and so do not slow down to consider what I can learn from anything and everyone in my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be arrogant in my process, believing that I do not need to be supported.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I'm so far ahead in process that I don't even need to support myself! Wow.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to clarify how to walk humbly and express myself within humility.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to correct my process-arrogance in real-time, by shifting into the expression of a humble learner, in all cases.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to NOT see, realize and understand the consequences of believing that I rarely need to support my process because I believe I can rest easy because I've made the right decisions to get me to where I am now, as if the hard work = the decision to walk process and that's already behind me, not seeing, realizing or understanding that the decision to walk process is here to be made, unconditionally and in every moment.

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When and as I see myself feeling like I don't need to or don't want to walk my process support, I stop, I breathe. I realize that I am here to walk process support in all ways, always. This is my decision. I commit myself to make this decision, a living decision to apply myself, within and as my breath.

When and as I see myself beyond or above any potentially supportive information, I stop, I breathe. I realize that I can learn or specify my process regardless of what I have walked thus far. I commit myself to be patient and thorough as I move through information.

When and as I see myself believing that I am so far in process, I stop, I breathe. I realize that all are here in one process, walking equally, and that while I continue to work and specify my knowledge and application thereof, I only become more effective in my process support. I commit myself to STOP comparing my process to any other individual's process, as there is only one process here.

When and as I see myself believing that I already know what a word like humble means, I stop, I breathe. I realize that just knowing the word is far different from living a word. I commit myself to redefine humility and play with it in my expression until I am satisfied with my living application of this word.

When and as I see myself thinking that I don't need to listen to this or that eqafe interview, I stop, I breathe. I realize that the information coming through the portal is always relevant to me and my process, as the beings coming through are sharing themselves to support us to specify information in many ways, so that we can in turn walk our process more effectively and support what is best for all. I commit myself to listen to the eqafe recordings that come out regardless of the title and description and stop allowing my conscious judgement of personal relevance to get in the way.

When and as I see myself getting sleepy when facing myself in my process, either through sitting to write a blog or download an interview or walk my DIP material, I stop, I breathe. I realize that this energy of resistance can be deleted in a single breath with a simple decision. I commit myself to move myself into that breath and decision, and to not allow resistance energy to prolong my process through the mind. There's many many layers to get through, and I don't have time to sleep more than is required.

Day 262 - DIP Lite Spot: Am I Special or Am I Not

I'd like to start off by sharing how great my experience with DIP Lite has been. I starting walking it along side the regular Desteni I Process and find it to be a awesome source of additional support. No matter what you're doing or where you're at in your life, I wholeheartedly recommend this free online course to learn about effective self-support through writing.

After my blog post yesterday (Day 261 - Why wouldn't I break through the wall?), I continued to expand on the fear of failure point within DIP Lite because my writing prompt tied in so nicely. Below, I've included a screen shot of what it's like to be on the inside of one of the modules. (Step 2 does not ask to place SF and commitment statements, I just felt like doing it) Click the image to go to the main webpage for the course!

In my life, I've noticed that the inferiority fear was the primary point that I reacted to in an interpersonal interaction. I've found that my desire to be more/greater was like a blinding self-interest, and I was simply not very considerate of others. In fact, for most of my life I've only cared about others as far as it involved me. If I didn't see the benefit to self, then I wouldn't really care. I was an asshole at times for certain.

It's interesting how this egocentrism has its root in being afraid of being less, unimportant, insignificant. Within upholding this self definition of being special, there is a desire to want to progress really fast. I even put on my resume "fast learner" haha. Identifying as a fast learner kind of implies that I am smart, better, more able than the average learner. Letting this self-belief go unchecked has more consequences than one would casually consider. I'll expand more on this fast learner character tomorrow.
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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only consider what directly affects me and solely benefits me in self-interest when interacting with others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how I've sabotaged many relationships by considering only myself within the belief that "I am special and matter more than others."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that it is difficult to be one and equal with everyone else.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can learn how to act in alignment with oneness and equality faster than others, not realizing that I want to maintain superiority within myself.

When and as I see myself within a "I am special" state of ego where my equal and one consideration for others is nonexistent, I stop I breathe. I realize how I am abusing my relationships with others to suit my positive self-image. I commit myself to flag point the times when I come off as rude, harsh, or just plain inconsiderate toward others to stop, breathe and check who I am in relation to another.

When and as I myself complacently being mean to degrading toward others, I stop I breathe. I realize that I am within a state of negativity that I do not even realize, and that breathing application is essential to bring myself back into a stable, considerate self. I commit myself to no longer allow myself to just go with it after I realize my superiority complex at play. I commit myself to change who I am in relation to another even if it might seem weird that I change my character mid-interaction with another.

When and as I myself justifying my superiority/specialness character with "ahh, it's too hard to change and humble myself," I stop I breathe. I realize it's as simple as that.  I commit myself to flagpoint every moment I tell myself that I can't change, step down, humble myself for any reason (I.e. embarrassment, shame, anything that could deteriorate my reputation and specialness), so that I may investigate where I am still holding onto a pattern of personality that is strictly self-interested.

When and as I see myself attempting to hold onto superiority through being special, I stop I breathe. I realize that there is nothing wrong with having a superior skill set, but if I subscribe to the illusion that I am superior in ways that are not valid, that's not chill. I commit myself to educating myself in reality and stop thinking that I know everything already. BS. Will continue with this point tomorrow.

Thanks for reading :)