tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84609746324915145002024-03-14T06:01:26.142-07:00One Man's Journey to LifePersonal accounts of my life process.Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.comBlogger462125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-84083310703613884652020-12-13T22:09:00.005-08:002020-12-13T22:09:36.837-08:00Day 461 - A friend, twisting my arm<p>I am stupid.</p><p>I have been only deepening my possession in the mind by not writing my blog.</p><p>A dear friend, stubbornly lead me to this blank blogger page, after I childishly said "no" ~7 times, he warned me that he we would give up if I said no once more. My tricky, yet effective friend.</p><p>I asked him, "ok, now what do I write?"</p><p>"I am stupid."</p><p>And the ball was rolling. I wrote the second line all on my own, and promised to keep writing.</p><p>He kindly reminded me "Self-Trust is based on following through on the promises I make," and we ended the 2-hr call so I could finish the long-overdue post.</p><p>I had to wade through so much resistance, it is comical that this effort was successful. I couldn't see it coming. It wasn't self-initiated, which is one of the main reasons I justified the resistance. For if I was not the starting point, then the whole thing must be invalid. It's nuts how effective my self-created excuses can be!</p><p>I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold a strict definition of what the acceptable parameters are for me to create a blog post.</p><p>I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to develop and nurture my mind, as the excuses and justifications for why I need to limit my expression.</p><p>I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I must be consistent with my writing process, and if I am not, then I should not write at all - and through this belief, sabotage my writing efforts because even just doing one post feels like a MAJOR commitment, as if writing one post means I have to write all the posts in my future too.</p><p>I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project myself into the future, and create a feeling relationship of BURDEN if I am to uphold the vision I have of myself.</p><p>I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to operate as this ego-projection, and sabotage my efforts in the moment by thinking that I must commit to something that I do not believe I can do, because I have not done it in my past.</p><p>I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that I am HEAVILY participating in EGO by seeing myself as my past and my future, and completely missing me, here, in the moment.</p><p>I stop. I breathe.</p><p>I commit myself to the recognition that all I have of myself that is real, is here, in the moment.</p><p>I commit myself to remembering that the feeling of insecurity arising from my past, and the feeling of greatness I project into my future, is all BS ego play. I stop. I breathe.</p><p>I commit myself to opening up my blog when I have something to write.</p><p>I commit myself to writing on other platforms when those moments arise.</p><p>I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I should be writing on a different platform, to expand my reach and readership - and within this, create conflict that leads to further justifying and bolstering my resistance to writing here.</p><p>I commit myself to not fear writing here.</p><p>I commit myself to not fear writing there.</p><p>I commit myself to not fear wasting my time writing in one spot or the other.</p><p>I commit myself to writing in many places.</p><p>I commit myself to continue walking my Journey To Life Blog, for me and for all to see.</p><p><br /></p><p>Thanks buddy.</p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnm95Z-gSbWgTuOILr29JoZTNIVm0OIn3k3vycsEbaT-kZmLtdBuCDAaWidloQ4ZMvntoCjBLgdKkqoGu6mV-DdkhOtYPNzfjdqFyTNbT0xoUSvqDXL029io5Kc6r-zZW0TfHZH8fmlRE/s723/dear-friend.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="723" data-original-width="723" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnm95Z-gSbWgTuOILr29JoZTNIVm0OIn3k3vycsEbaT-kZmLtdBuCDAaWidloQ4ZMvntoCjBLgdKkqoGu6mV-DdkhOtYPNzfjdqFyTNbT0xoUSvqDXL029io5Kc6r-zZW0TfHZH8fmlRE/s320/dear-friend.jpg" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-64770252418355668982020-06-05T10:47:00.001-07:002020-12-13T21:30:56.998-08:00Day 460 - Hidden Backdoors 1Dimensional assistance:<br />
<i>for tomorrow: really DIGGING IN to the excuses, reasons/justifications that come up - even if you feel you have transcended some, do see if there are any HIDDEN BACKDOORS preventing you from pursuing ideas, dreams, creative expressions that has come up inside yourself</i><br />
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My hidden backdoors:<br />
I'm not good enough. There's always someone better, so it's futile to aim for full acceptance love and support, but my ego self-concept is dearly interested in maintaining this perspective of myself, and so I dare not risk my reputation by standing for life. F*** that.<br />
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prefer standing with my ego, and reject most risks, not allowing myself to be vulnerable, and so not stepping into my personal point of power and responsibility as a human on this earth.<br />
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand my potential, and its relationship to my responsibility to manifest it, wherein what I most want in life, beyond anything else, without a shadow of a doubt, is to live my utmost potential in this lifetime; thus, my responsibility is towards myself, and how much I really want, what I most want.<br />
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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project responsibility as something coming from outside of me, telling me what to do, how to be, or how to live; reacting by creating a rebellious character to fight for MY way, MY perspective, MY independence; and for not taking a breath, taking a moment, and tracing the line of logic within responsibility back to myself, with my best interests in heart, for self and all.<br />
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I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to take the risks of simply expressing myself, and sharing it with as many as I can. To withhold my expression from others, is a damn shame, because I get the most enjoyment when tuning in and vibing with others.<br />
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I commit myself to posting this blog.<br />
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<a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/96029652@N00/2235901279" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1065" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCXr1cnEyn9Z2bhJ4_Br8QJeVaymbyFH7mW2Xdbwi4s0zrdSpiP6XFla7rnjJQSnFT8BwFK6f7tPzRue1sbo3_UoUVt2GsWBvApXkO9d7191lNQ9U8y7AYf89pzNIthi_n7l_-AeehY7k/s320/2235901279_1a4385dd14_k.jpg" width="212" /></a>I commit myself to stop giving myself a never ending dose of excuses, just to protect my fragile big ego.<br />
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I commit myself to take a stand, and come what may, I stand, because my foundation in principled living is strong and unwavering.<br />
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I commit myself to the principle of doing what is best for all.<br />
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I commit myself to refining and fine tuning my expression of doing what's best for all, so that my personal, daily, habitual living patterns, are equally considered in this equation.<br />
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I commit myself to walking the hard path, being honest with myself, and letting go of what used to serve me, so I can adopt new living words and ways of being that better serve what is best for myself and others, equal and one.<br />
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Day 460 / 2555Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-60621105758170326212019-01-18T12:34:00.003-08:002019-03-29T16:43:19.864-07:00Day 459 - Channeling my highest/best SelfHere forward:<br />
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As I sit to write, I commit myself to leave no stone unturned as I investigate all the nooks and crannies of myself, so that I may clear any and all dissonance, and align my structural resonance into a living application of my best self.<br />
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand the nature of delay/procrastination/postponement, where I believe I've giving myself more time today, I'm robbing myself of progression and life itself!<br />
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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sabotage my process by manipulating myself to opt for the quick fix of energy, instead of the long term, big picture, integrated alignment of my best self.<br />
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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a parallel reality of complacent acceptance within postponement, where I delude myself into a perspective that is less than comprehensive.<br />
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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to maintain a discombobulated perspective through acceptance and rapidly reacting to my world through my personal desires and fears.<br />
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I commit myself to take structural action to align my living day proportionally so all my highest responsibilities are being done, and fully enjoying my fun :)<br />
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459 / 2555Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-84050326899342781822018-10-19T23:17:00.000-07:002018-10-19T23:27:49.278-07:00Day 458 - Quantity of Realizations per MomentI really, really liked these two EQAFE interviews -<br />
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<iframe frameborder="0" height="210" src="https://eqafe.com/embed/dmalara-quantifying-your-process-journeys-into-the-afterlife-part-113" width="150"></iframe>
<iframe frameborder="0" height="210" src="https://eqafe.com/embed/dmalara-quantifying-process-and-comparison-journeys-into-the-afterlife-part-114" width="150"></iframe>
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One of the most stubborn beings in existence shares about how we can measure our progress, in our life-awareness process. Before I get into my brief breakdown, I must say: there's a lot of information loaded into these two interviews! If you can afford to invest in them, and listen to them multiples times, you'll end up changing your life.<br />
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Why?<br />
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Understanding what <i>"quantifying your process"</i> practically means, can really help to quantify your process ;)<br />
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But what does <i>it</i> mean?!<br />
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For the longest time, the term "quantifying your process" has been used by beings through the portal to describe the benefit of <i>speeding up</i> our process by applying various tools (writing, self-forgiveness, redefining living words, etc.).<br />
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When I first thought about this, I <i>stubbornly</i> adhered more to my scientific definition of quantification (to count or measure). But this definition just didn't hold up in many of the contexts that it was being used in, so I merged the definitions together as best I could. I thought it to mean something like 'being aware of how much I've changed, and to within this see that my change process is working, boosting my confidence, and ultimately motivating me to move faster."<br />
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And for years, I was missing the point.<br />
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Maybe I was close or onto something with "quantifying process" as "a measure of self-change," but I can say that I'm very thankful, now that I'm getting clearer on it after listening to these 2 interviews, twice!<br />
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Currently, I'm best understanding it as: Quantity of Realizations per Moment.<br />
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How <i>much</i> self-realization can I fit into a single moment?<br />
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How <i>often </i>am I able to stop an emotional reaction and correct myself in real-time?<br />
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A direct quote from the 2nd interview:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"Essentially the overall definition of 'quantifying your process' is speeding up, fitting as many <i>quantity</i> of applications, or movements, or realizations of yourself into a moment that you can, to bring about actual, real self-change." - Veno</blockquote>
The interview goes on to to explain this further, giving examples and bringing it full circle to why it even matters to begin with. There are some other key points that stood out that helped me fine tune my understanding of this definition, namely:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Moving faster, by moving slower.</blockquote>
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This is one of those statements I love, because at first, it makes no sense and contradicts itself. But then, I play with it. I start asking myself, "how <i>could</i> this be true?" And the phase opens up into a most powerful gift. <b>It's a real shame how much common sense is missed because of a snap judgement.</b><br />
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And that's just it.<br />
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By slowing down, I can gather more information, that's logically obtained and organized. When I'm making a quick judgment about something, I don't engage the same faculties. It's often a rushed, overconfident opinion that I half-consciously churn out. When I take that big breath, and slow myself down, I am at greater capacity to intake and organize information, and so I have a greater capacity to make a sound decision.<br />
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When we take our time with something, we produce better quality work (like this post). The consequences of better quality work, is higher efficiency. A contrary example could be writing a bunch of notes so fast that they're illegible, and moving on from that so fast, that you don't even realize you can't read them until the day before the test. Taking longer, may seem to take longer from ONE perspective, but when you begin to do the math and see the quality adding up. 1 + 1 + 1 is more than 0.1 + 0.1 + 0.1 + 0.1 + 0.1 + 0.1 + 0.1<br />
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So now, you're already at a slower pace, having held your attention this far through my writing, but I invite you to slow down even more. Don't jump onto the next thing immediately. Take a moment, and ask yourself, "what's the best thing I can do next? Sit with it. "What do I truly want to do for me?" Maybe it brings up reaction because you're reminded of something important you've been postponing. Maybe it frees you up from a fast-paced day with little to no 'self check-ins.' Ask yourself about how you understand and relate to the phase "to move faster, move slower." Maybe you even have time to scribble <i>legible</i> notes about how you want to <i>live into</i> your next moments, and beyond.<br />
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From the best of ourselves, to the best of ourselves,<br />
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Cheers<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://eqafe.com/i/dmalara-quantifying-your-process-journeys-into-the-afterlife-part-113"><img border="0" data-original-height="560" data-original-width="400" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNrOjOLIoB52KkBM7XJ9PCK5to7DSd8LtEUZ4ESC8JhWSGomXh93kgF__5RSuxTmF5YXdWLd0KWa09ynWS5CbvWzj6SKepQir1sjWa-04kkNUwHyCL3kKa0q8Ubt5ueZUiRI_sO66J9EY/s200/full_quantifying-your-process-journeys-into-the-afterlife-part-113.jpg" width="142" /></a></div>
<br />Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-32629884058747580382018-10-16T23:40:00.000-07:002018-10-16T23:40:45.470-07:00Day 457 - Training for Physical RealityIn my last post, I spoken into a belief that "posting once a day would be too much, or too difficult for me." While I have my reasons and justifications for this, I also see the reality that I could be posting nearly everyday. So, with both perspectives in mind, I decided to make the leap and commit to writing every day last month. What I found by challenging myself, and failing = worth the effort!<div>
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<div>
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear trying something because I fear failure. When and as I see myself shying away from something within a mindset of fearing to fail, I stop, I breathe. I realize that nothing gets done when I stagnate with fear of failure, manifesting a failed opportunity of a life I could have lived. I commit myself to facing my fear of failure, embracing the lessons of failure, and carrying on with Self creation in the absence of fear (creation).</div>
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--</div>
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Note: if I really had to or wanted to, I could stop my post here, and call it a day. Just one example-reason that I really have no valid excuse to not post on the daily.</div>
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<div>
Every reason for why I don't write every day, is linked to escapism. Writing and posting these 7-year-journey-to-life blogs is an effort of facing myself. Facing all the resistances and fears that come up along the way. Sometimes, I really don't want to look at myself, and so I layer the excuses to be "ok" with it. Observing myself in this pattern this for so long now, I've really gotten ample chance to see how silly it is.</div>
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<div>
Why is it so silly?</div>
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If I try to separate myself from the awareness of what is, then I enter a timeloop of specific unawareness, only to come back to awareness eventually. This retards one's growth in self-awareness, and who wants that?</div>
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I, as the mind consciousness system, do.</div>
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to orient to the mind and believe that my dealings in energy are more significant or important that my physical reality. When and as I see myself racing for an energy fix, I stop, I breathe. I realize that there is only one me, and that if I have conflicting priorities, I need to slow down, reconcile who I am and which reality I want to validate and honor. I commit myself to remember to check-in with my starting point awareness, and carefully examine the evolution of my perspective through time; so that I may reverse engineer it, understand who I am within it, and continue building an increasingly consistent and stable character.</div>
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<div>
--</div>
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I commit myself to honor and respect the physical laws of the universe.</div>
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I commit myself to embrace failure as a vital means of self-growth.</div>
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I commit myself to slow down to the pace of my breath, my body and my fingers (for typing), so that I may accomplish more substantial self-creation in the physical world.</div>
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I commit myself to ultimately be the director of my mind, instead of following energetic impulses that are inconsiderate of the physical world.</div>
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I commit myself to press on and recreate myself everyday! Cheers to a life worth living!</div>
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-23972035155726130442018-09-30T23:59:00.001-07:002018-10-01T00:08:07.637-07:00Day 456 - OnwardsOk, I'm in the final 18 minutes of the month, so it's time for a quick recap and resetting my sights for October 2018. This is going to be my 13th post of 30 days, without any doubling up, even though that was my intention while excusing myself from missing a day.<br />
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I've learned that a lot of the issues I'm creating for myself come from framing my reality in narrow ways. For example, approaching my writing like I would homework, procrastinating it until the final few minutes, turning it into this big monster, just like I would with a term paper.<br />
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In hindsight, to make the most of not reaching my goal - I've got to learn all I can about myself and how I operate, so I can make a more realistic goal for myself. One thing: I underestimate how much energy these posts can take, so doing one a day is a lot. I cannot let this perceptual mishap continue to burn me as it has. More grounded, realistic planning will go along way. I'll continue to unpack more dimensions here as I find them.<br />
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For October, I commit myself to write 15 days or more. Time to test a commitment to myself for every other day. My thinking is this will open up more room for writing longer posts with more specifics and depth in them, while then giving me a day to rest in between (if needed). Test all things, keep what's best.<br />
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being a failure, and so focus on failing instead of what I can do.<br />
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I commit myself to continue re-framing 'failure' in my living expression to catapult my success!<br />
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See you on the next calendar page.<br />
<br />Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-42873462574749011332018-09-26T23:57:00.002-07:002018-09-26T23:59:32.751-07:00Day 455 - Work Hard, Every Waking Hour<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://youtu.be/liJbB_0eCTo"><img alt="elon musk how to achieve 10x more success peers work hard every waking hour" border="0" data-original-height="634" data-original-width="1127" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVUZv3Ly1TTFdQCeJanGAb-E8KBoXzsiFbHGAWLaTKKPa9HAM-YvH9EB2E5qlXmnjKvt4JTefqe9w2kmtizbjY50MzsD2UY8du-bMZaTPcIC_wb4SPDcEZMoETf6TuupWyS08oJUngz_A/s400/Elon-Musk-work-hard-every-hour.JPG" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" title="Elon Musk - short biography on YouTube" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://youtu.be/liJbB_0eCTo">Click to watch inspiring video</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Right at the beginning of this video (20 seconds in), the creator shows a clip of Elon saying:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
"...we're so hard off, we had just one computer; so the website was up during the day, and I was coding at night. Work hard, like, every waking hour. That's the thing I would say, particularly if you're starting a company."</blockquote>
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The rest of the video is worthwhile, breaking down how Elon's <i>inclusive</i> vision for humanity is a major component to his appeal, making up for his poor presentation skills.<br />
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I may not have the intellect of Musk, but I share a similar vision for humanity = United. I foresee a world where individuals are looking out for the best interests self and all. Self is All, so <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+7%3A12&version=ESV" target="_blank">golden rule</a> all around!<br />
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But what's been getting in the way of such basic human compassion?<br />
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<b>Fear</b>.<br />
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The fear keeps us cycling in the mind, so we never get to truly <i>know</i> ourselves. And without knowing ourselves, we don't get to <i>know</i> others. Instead we fear them, because we've got to look out for #1 (+family/clan), only to end up giving <i>cause</i> for fear. Just as hurt people, hurt people; scared people scare people! We've got to start getting a handle on the <b>Self = All</b> equation, and start STOPPING these deep-seated & multi-generational designs that we've lived into our lives.<br />
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It's easy to fall into fear paradigm because we've collectively been doing it, a very long time.<br />
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Here comes the work!<br />
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I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to work hard, every waking hour, in a balanced manner, such that all my needs and responsibilities are being taken care of, so that I may additionally focus on Self and Business development projects.<br />
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I commit myself to writing myself to orient when and as I see myself not working hard.<br />
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There's lots to do. Big world solutions are needed. This blog is just the beginning! Sack up Daniel.<br />
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#ElonSpeedDanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-45353569946629642962018-09-24T14:36:00.000-07:002018-09-24T14:36:12.518-07:00Day 454 - Going Deeper, pt.3Falling into such a familiar pattern of justified inaction..it's slightly insane. But what I'm starting to realize is that REAL self change, takes <i>time</i> and <i>dedicated practice</i>.<br />
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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify doing nothing, despite knowing that's exactly how <i>nothing </i>gets done.<br />
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Sometimes it's: Not feeling confident enough to post -<br />
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify not writing because I am afraid that my expression isn't to par, participating in the vein of thoughts, labeled: <i>"You are your own worst critic" - </i>to diminish my confidence by comparison, both internally as a measure of where I think I <i>should be</i> or by hypothetical judgments from my readers... across the world... throughout time..<br />
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LOTS of space for my mind to play with me, when I'm not taking directive responsibility here.<br />
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my writing about my audience, when this journey is firstly: self for self - me coming to terms with who I am, so that I can proactively reshape my destiny for the betterment of Self, and All.<br />
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Getting back to Self for Self -<br />
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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to quantumly prioritize the possible opinions of others, such that my subconscious chatter is getting in the way of my <b>clarity</b> and subsequent <b>action</b>.<br />
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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget that I'm here, leaving a physical impression everyday, and that I have a responsibility to direct and initiate my life to create physical outcomes that I can truly be proud of at the end of time.<br />
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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate in thoughts that obscure my starting point, and then remain distracted instead of driving myself toward inner clarity.<br />
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I commit myself to grounding myself in the physical, writing, clarifying my starting point and the physical action plan required to see something through - and to recognize when I get off track, so that I may create a a new plan that sets me back on course.<br />
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Then there's Misplaced Authority -<br />
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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from Authority, and create a void within me that needs to be fulfilled by an outside force of validation before I will take action.<br />
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I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to see, recognize and implement Self-Authority, wherein I substantiate myself, build the self-trust by seeing who I am in the physical reality, acknowledge my lack, and fill that void myself - getting specific about resolving the uncertainties that would otherwise undermine my inner authority as the power to make clear decisions and direct myself accordingly.<br />
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I forgive myself for living and leading my life according to how I could elicit desirable reactions in others, and in that process, severely diminish my ability to make decisions for myself that comes from knowing myself and my context <i>more clearly</i>.<br />
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I commit myself to breathing and aligning information within myself in clarity, so as to eliminate any excuses for NOT seeing the common sense of a situation.<br />
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I commit myself to returning to the innocence of a child-like expression when I sit to do self-discovery work in these posts or when I work on career challenges, to incrementally develop my self-authority.<br />
<br />
--<br />
<br />
During this blogging challenge to myself this month, I've noticed another interesting dynamic holding this self-sabotage pattern in place:<br />
<br />
There's is oscillating polarity going on where I am writing for others, or I am accountable to <i>no one</i> and so do not <i>need</i> to write. Here, I'm completely missing the point of remembering "WHY am I writing?" I am writing for <u>me</u>, first and foremost. Publishing and having readers MUST be secondary and not interfere with this authentic self-discovery and self-perfection process.<br />
<br />
When and as I see myself justifying, excusing, or limiting my self-expression through writing blogs, I commit myself to getting clear, and remembering why I started this journey.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to recognizing all of my fears of judgement that I have in relation to others, are in fact judgements that I have of myself, and I'm only projecting them on the world.<br />
<br />
When and as I see myself in fear of how others might judge me, I commit myself to owning my self-judgements, forgiving them, and returning to clarity I need to proceed in facing any point.<br />
<br />
...<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to sit on this post because I judge it & myself as disorganized, scattered and lacking depth.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to expanding on the points above, as the devil is in the details.<br />
<br />
In order to hurdle these self-destructive points, I need to get clear, know myself inside and out, so I may sooner catch myself when I fall.<br />
<br />
More to come. Thanks for your patience and support.Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-22006645407754126252018-09-17T11:56:00.002-07:002018-09-17T14:54:48.144-07:00Day 453 - Going Deeper, pt.2Sputtering: to proceed or develop in a spasmodic and feeble way. (<i>ex. The old car was running on fumes, sputtering down the road.</i>)<br />
<br />
Also continuing from my <a href="http://dantolife.blogspot.com/2018/09/day-444-going-deeper.html">first post</a> in this 30 day series, there's an apparent need to go deeper into why I keep blocking myself from writing.<br />
<br />
One day, it's simple, I just let myself write.<br />
<br />
The next day, well..<br />
<br />
The resistance takes many forms, like sleepiness or jumping into distractions, but why am I giving way to the resistance so quickly each time I'm facing deeper dimensions of myself in writing?<br />
<br />
All that comes up is fear as ego-protection. The <i>what-ifs</i> and the primary fear: been seen as the fallible human that I am.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear acknowledging my own imperfections, and try to avoid them by creating a personality of hesitancy in my self-expression, waiting for the right moment to assert myself in the right way - veiling my authenticity, cleverly even from myself, as I further develop a 'people-pleasing' personality and get further from myself, who I am, my wants, my goals and ambitions.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from myself, because I fear that just being me, isn't enough.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide in personality constructs that are 'safe' because they work for me within my environment, not seeing, realizing or understanding how I'm then only ever building a 'house of cards', bound to come crashing down, because I'm not substantiating each relationship by bring my integrated self, my whole +1 to the table.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to shedding the personalities, each time I recognize myself within one, and being vulnerable and raw, coming as I am, no self-judgement.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to use my breath as cross reference in the physical, to assist with determining when/if I'm loaded up into a narrow personality construct, using breath as well to support my returning to presence and the authenticity that is always here, in real-time, <i>breath-pace</i>.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to continue aligning my integrated character with what's best for all by removing personality systems that are outdated and/or in narrow in scope, and replacing them with an "okay-ness" or immediate self-acceptance, allowing me to walk vulnerably with any situation, and just allow my expression to come up. Whatever comes, I accept it, and then <u>I face it</u> as I continue to fine tune my standing character, as the expression living by principle, courage, and will to do best by me and others. No more personalities based of fear. #wasteoftime<br />
<br />
There will be many parts to Going Deeper.. TBCDanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-80394796199123149692018-09-13T23:53:00.001-07:002018-09-13T23:53:21.396-07:00Day 452 - Trip, Fall, CatchPublishing everyday is no joke.<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It's a serious commitment.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Life with all it's dynamic demands often get in the way. But here's the cool part: I'm always at will to catch myself in a fall.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Parkour lesson #1: Falling with grace.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
(This will probably turn into another post.*)</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
When the ground is coming at you, there's actually a lot of time to respond to its/our velocity. When I first started playing with this concept, I was really drawn to the 'damage control' aspect, minimizing the overall impact for longevity of the body. Especially considering how a simple fall can have devastating, life-long consequences, I'd say it's worth it to practice and hone the skill of physical response capabilities <i>the moment</i> your inner ear tells you gravity is not operating within normal perimeters.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So, with the blogging, I didn't catch myself in 1 or even 2 days, and I find that interesting. I had plenty of moments to correct and perhaps not even miss any days. As soon as my evening plans changed, I could have incorporated my blogging time into my early afternoon time, for example. When I break it all down, all the excuses are BS.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
What's valid, what stands, is that I do need to redefine, reshape, reconfigure these posts, to fit a "daily" style. What does that mean? I'll let go of pictures. Sometimes, but not all the times. The pressure I put on myself with the picture can sometimes be a reason for me to go into resistance, verses just simply dropping into my keyboard and the blank post and sharing candidly. <i>Self-honestly, if I didn't procrastinate till 11:55pm to post each night, adding a picture isn't really such a big deal, and probably worth my while.</i></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
What else? I'll still do basic formatting. And I'm keeping the <i>once-over edit</i>, which is how I say: giving my post a single re-read, fixing, adding and subtracting as I see fit, and then publish. I'll keep adding keywords or labels, but <i>how</i> I do it may change. Instead of trying to attract others by using words that may help my search engine ranking, I'm going to simplify it and just do the basic few + some to categorize the main point, instead of trying to hit every angle.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And: I'm going to create 30 posts in the 30 days of September. That's what I signed on for initially, and when I missed these past few days, that's the agreement I made with myself, that instead of forcing myself to skip a day, I would let myself make it up. It's an odd excuse, "I'm not <i>allowed</i> to post TWO Day's in one day<i>!</i>" - I'll give this point its own post (soon), but the idea that "I <i>can</i> technically do what ever the hell I want to do," is really empowering. I set my own rules because it's my <u>own</u> <b>self-expression</b>. When life throws a curve ball, I adapt to the circumstance in my unique way. I commit myself to completing 30 posts in 30 days, even if that means I have to double or even triple up on some days.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The point of facing myself in a fall can be challenging (posts on that to come as well). It's a humble, recognition process, and then it's a decision to change the outcome for the best. It happens at all different time-levels. Fast-fast, when you're changing from high speed or heights, and much slower, at a different pace altogether - a 'life fall' (using that term loosely) happens when we just fall out of touch with ourselves, our interests, our joy, our meaning, our decision to be our best self..</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I forgive me for accepting and allowing me mistreat me, by being less than I can be, and hiding from myself the reasons for which I'm sabotaging my best-self, so that I can't be honest with myself enough to see, realize and change without further ado.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I commit to treating me, myself, my life, with a little more respect, as this is the foundation of me in the world. I am responsible, within my capability, to grow as a human. All habits and behaviors that are not supportive of myself and others, are suspect and require deep, written examination (in posts to come).</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I commit myself to reshaping how I approach this blog, being 'okay' with utilizing it more as a processing space for myself, however, publicly. So, it'll be more raw and behind-the-scenes style Dan, and I'll reserve the more fancy, SEO compliant, picture populated posts for another platform.*</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
For now, rest assured, I'll continue my writing. Fathom that it's totally possible to blog two days in one day, and just be ok with it, don't judge me. Ok?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Here we go!</div>
Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-21171035258985683242018-09-09T22:13:00.002-07:002018-09-09T22:13:46.204-07:00Day 451 - What takes FORM?I wore myself out running around the beach. I came home to eat and write before bed, but I was really tired after leftover pizza.<br />
<br />
I set the alarm to sleep from 9:54pm to 10...snooze for 10, snooze for 10 more.<br />
<br />
I move from the couch to my bed, thinking I can fool myself into one final, brief rest before writing, <u>but no alarm this time</u>. That was really a decision. I vaguely decided I'll make it up to myself by posting twice the next day, or whatever.<br />
<br />
Why is this decision so shrouded and unclear? Let's unpack it!<br />
<br />
This kind of non-decision, an abdication of responsibility. I was physically tired, but that wasn't even a consideration at the time because I was too focused on the negative self-critic, like "I'm a failure," and/or 'scheming' to try and justify going the 'easy way'.<br />
<br />
While resting, in the background of my mind, I'm doing this whole process and giving myself 'the run around' internally, covering up the self-judgement and justifications, trying to make everything seem ok... until I pass out. It's like distracting myself from facing myself until I ab-use my body's need for sleep as 'an out' from having to face what's really going on in me, in stillness.<br />
<br />
As a result of the internal mess, no post is made, no-thing takes form.<br />
<br />
So, to the point, <u>the big realization</u>:<br />
<h3>
Clear Decision-Making</h3>
<div>
is a <b>key to creation</b>.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
By asking ourselves the most <b>relevant questions</b>, we can take aim for creation with more specificity. Each question answered sheds light on how best to proceed, but without Self-Honesty, we'll just opt for delusion when faced with getting nitty-gritty of who I am, have become and choose to be.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I didn't make a self-honest decision to skip a day of blogging. I wasn't slowed down, in my body, and considering within awareness, a practical compromise or solution for my predicament. I was running around in my mind, justifying layers of excuses and reasons until I exhaust myself into a consciousless slumber.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
A clear decision to rest the body can be a beautiful gift.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I commit myself to becoming more deliberate with my body, my movements, my decisions, my bedtime.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress the truth of my decisions and actions within a mental whirlwind of justification and self-dishonesty.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to <i>mistreat</i> my body by more considering my own ego's priority system, rather than that of my physical formation.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I commit myself to form deliberately, carefully.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I commit myself to exposing all half-measures and BS justifications within my operating system.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I commit myself to getting really clear, on what takes form in my life.</div>
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-41856394656896513462018-09-07T23:17:00.000-07:002018-09-07T23:23:30.863-07:00Day 450 - Nostalgia Redefined, pt.2"Ah, those were the good ol' days!"<br />
<br />
Reminiscing about times past, with a small sense of yearning to be where and/or how I used to be. This is <i>lazy nostalgia</i>, participating just when it comes up in conversation between peers. It's self-detached, not seeing self as equal with self at all moments in time, and it diminishes the present self by comparison.<br />
<br />
What would be a more <i>proactive nostalgia</i>?.. To live in way where I would look back on the memory fondly, continually creating a trail of interactions for which myself <b>and</b> others could feel nostalgic about, and within that, be inspired to connect more with that quality in/of life, here, today.<br />
<br />
<br />
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just go with the feeling of nostalgia, create a relationship to it, where I file and organize that which I am nostalgic about because I don't want to have a messy emotional life, but I also don't want to let go, because I'm afraid that I won't be able to replicate that which I feel nostalgic about.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing a certain quality to life and living, such as a childlike expression of exploring the mundane which a fresh inquiry, and so create a relationship to a memory, mark it with a positive feeling, and carry on, not realizing, seeing or understanding the many insights that can be drawn from a singular memory.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to NOT question the emotion of Nostalgia more closely and clearly, so that I may better understand what it is brought on the experience of nostalgia, and the specifics of what it is that I fear loosing.<br />
<br />
<br />
I commit myself to investigate myself when <i>nostalgia</i> feelings come up, so I may better understand how I've channeled myself into such a narrow framework of reality. See what it is I desire so much that I'm willing to chose ignorance over awareness.<br />
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I commit myself to honor the memories of which I've formed a nostalgic relationship to, by opening them up, celebrating the key/core words of that experience and finding way for which I can bring them back to life in my everyday living. Find the gift!<br />
<br />
I commit myself to releasing all memories that I fear losing, for I realize that I can create the new me of today with just as much significance for nostalgia. Live here!<br />
<br />
I commit myself to live like I'm worthy of living, and to honor myself at all points in time, past, present and future.<br />
<br />
I commit to live nostalgically.<br />
<br />
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<br />Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-83625662559358851932018-09-06T23:59:00.000-07:002018-09-06T23:59:11.373-07:00Day 449 - Nostalgia Redefined, pt.1<div>
Definitions found for: <b>nostalgia</b> (n.)</div>
<div>
<ol>
<li>longing for something past</li>
<li>a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations</li>
<li>the desire to return to some earlier time in one's life, or a fond remembrance of that time, usually tinged with sadness at its having passed</li>
</ol>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
How or in which ways is nostalgia <i>alive</i> in my life?</div>
</div>
<div>
<ul><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ_YhZ9acCQpnOQhyphenhyphenEAQNO245o1uyE9XWy7mbGDifPF57VQ9C3bcdAwueEJJPnuqEoe-0Fzvx4KQ0nPSr0dKcjoSvYk05lEpm3Ue8f3WHZDHcxp4fr9QUiLzIAqk1j_GwlMc37hzlyiWg/s1600/nostalgia+folder.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1232" data-original-width="1600" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgQ_YhZ9acCQpnOQhyphenhyphenEAQNO245o1uyE9XWy7mbGDifPF57VQ9C3bcdAwueEJJPnuqEoe-0Fzvx4KQ0nPSr0dKcjoSvYk05lEpm3Ue8f3WHZDHcxp4fr9QUiLzIAqk1j_GwlMc37hzlyiWg/s320/nostalgia+folder.jpg" width="320" /></a>
<li>I have a file folder for it - paper stuffs that make me smile when remembering their creation, and would certainly make for good conversation with those who were directly involved, way back when!</li>
<li>Mostly, it's about shared times with others, but there's also many nostalgic times with inanimate objects like pasta and meatballs.</li>
<li>When something brings me to a time when I felt a certain way, like Free, Empowered, Content </li>
<li>Nostalgia also motivates me - like a reminder of myself in a different moment, I explore the differences from who I was then to who I am today? And what happened along the way?</li>
</ul>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
<div>
In what ways would I like to redefine this word for myself?</div>
<div>
<ol>
<li>Find the gift, for the <i>me</i> of today. When I have gone through the effort to create an emotional relationship for something in the past, then maybe I've <i>bookmarked</i> it for a reason. But the key is to not just float off into the feeling aspects of nostalgia, but to more scientifically extract the words around the feeling, to understand why I've created this emotional bookmark in the first place. What is the attachment for? What do I fear not having? Getting really specific with myself, so I can practically make use of this information, in terms of re-manifesting the best parts of me that I know I have been and can be.</li>
</ol>
</div>
Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-59978552566468326682018-09-05T23:49:00.000-07:002018-09-05T23:49:43.011-07:00Day 448 - Courageous Vulnerably<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2gccsdcNTdZlO2Zw980rp8his4fq2V36K8Py7DZApww4eRC7yhBLGmUlJBfhO3oLYQeg9OX8FVlIQcvtjaNy4d0FEeVDV6kWjPU9drUBl6a7tIhSwbFlPJy7xv6lPBGXqwZg_o4idg4A/s1600/Gold-Metal-Audio-Mic-Classic-Microphone-2178955.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="637" data-original-width="960" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2gccsdcNTdZlO2Zw980rp8his4fq2V36K8Py7DZApww4eRC7yhBLGmUlJBfhO3oLYQeg9OX8FVlIQcvtjaNy4d0FEeVDV6kWjPU9drUBl6a7tIhSwbFlPJy7xv6lPBGXqwZg_o4idg4A/s400/Gold-Metal-Audio-Mic-Classic-Microphone-2178955.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br />
There is a time for silence, and a time to speak up.<br />
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Walking that line can be a delicate walk of fear, being afraid to say the wrong thing, or to stake ourselves in words, only to be criticized from an angle we hadn't considered. Embarrassment. I'm Bare Ass Ment. I'm meant to be bare ass, so what's the big whoop?<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that we're all in this this together, going through the same stuff, collectively and individually - and from within this understanding, humbly share what I have to share. The benefits of courageously expressing <i>my </i>experience of life and its inner workings are can be far reaching!<br />
<br />
It's worth it for me to write this post, regardless of the measure of its impact on others, because the impact it is having on me = worth it! For me to take this moment, and slow down to a speed where I can confidently place words I want to stand by, publicly -- is a real test of conviction. (great word) It's not going to be perfect, but it builds and accumulates into a more and more fine tuned perspective and articulation of what's going on in me and in this world.<br />
<br />
<h3>
Regularly, courageously vulnerable</h3>
is an art form to be mastered! After witnessing several magnificently courageous beings spill their hearts at an <b>open mic poetry night </b>event, I was in beside myself, seeing myself in them, seeing myself in me, and like..."Whoa, I want to do that too!"<br />
<br />
Challenge accepted, Self! If I can blog everyday, and I can take care of myself, I can run a mile nonstop, and I can, I can, I can.... I can certainly stand up in front of a crowd and speak a few lines that really mean something for me. I care, and connecting with others to show and share how I care = is a pretty cool practice.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to stepping in front of more people, challenging myself to share from that point of vulnerability that we can all relate with, and find my power.<br />
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I commit myself to, no matter how gloomy and/or fearful things get in my life, to always find my way back to center, back to breath, back to purpose, in its many forms. I stand for life equality and oneness. So what have I to show for my #protest to this delinquent reality we find ourselves in?<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to channel my efforts into though-form only, and not actualize my efforts in a grounded, physical and real way. #consistency<br />
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At the end of a post, I re-read and edit what I have, once-over. And that's usually a piece of work I can confidently standby. Well, there's no editing IRL, so I consider this blog just practicing grounds. And it's cool because I find that people have a lot to say, but so do I -- so by releasing chunks of it here, I'm able to spend more time listening, and speaking only when fully clear and confident, rather than blabbering on about stuff I've half-processed in my head, many times already. Information can get loopy when it's not grounded in a practice or something alive!<br />
<br />
So, thank you for being the public part of my <b>Life Journey Journal</b>. You support me to remember that I'm not just in my room alone on these fateful nights. I'm here with all of you.<br />
<br />
Keep on, keeping on.<br />
<br />
No matter where you are, take that breath and share your vulnerable self!<br />
<br />
#PowerfulStuffDanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-80714005628421658722018-09-04T23:57:00.000-07:002018-09-05T00:34:20.083-07:00Day 447 - Hooray!! I'm grateful for...<h2>
This life!</h2>
<div>
<br /></div>
When I express the word 'hooray' (def: <span style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: "roboto" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">used to express joy or approval</span>) inside of myself, gratitude comes up with it, so I thought I'd dedicate this post and ask:<br />
<br />
What am I grateful for in my life?<br />
<br />
The connection from <i>hooray</i> to <u>grateful</u> is interesting in itself. When I look at the feeling if it, it's kind of stored as a memory, but like a picture-archetype of a group of people all going "hooray!" after hearing news of an accomplishment or victory to which they all had contributed their blood, sweat and tears.<br />
<br />
I connect 'hooray' to joy as gratitude, especially in a teamwork setting. And <b>what I'm most grateful for, is what I most enjoy.</b> So, without further adieu, my<br />
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://twitter.com/search?q=gratitudelist" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">#GratitudeList</a>:</h2>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<h2>
- Connection</h2>
First it was Mommy, we all know that. <i>Then they cut the cord.</i> Dad; eventually I became grateful for my brother.. Friends. Beings exchanging words....or more. It's this idea of understanding myself through others, 'two or more in my name. 'What are the similarities? the differences? <b>Who am I in relation to another?</b> Is one of the questions that I'm most grateful for.<br />
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<h2>
- Education</h2>
<div>
Learning and the ability to learn. To understand and be understood. The process of familiarizing ourselves with what's here. I've not really been able to commit to a single area of deep investigation, (other than <a href="http://desteniiprocess.com/" target="_blank">DIP</a>), because everything is so fascinating. I'd be wise to calm down a bit, and focus my attention more, because specialization of applied understandings, is where the money's at.<br />
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By focusing education, we have access to create more value for the world, and fair compensation should be expected. It's the natural way. Not all education is perfect, and I tapped out of Academia after my bachelors to pursue a deeper understanding through...<br />
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<h2>
- Vocabulary</h2>
<div>
Learning words has been nothing short of everything when it comes to learning new things. At a young age, word acquisition was one of the greatest ways we could apply ourselves, for it was a very powerful tool for getting our needs met. More words, more specific requests, more power. The early childhood education vocab lays the foundation for our thoughts, and thus, what we will create in our lives, over and over and over. Fascinating: how we kind of outsource our thoughts to the mind, automate them, and then we get stuck in weird thought patterns that just aren't helpful anymore, <i>if they ever were!!</i></div>
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The more vocab words, the more choices of thought at my disposal. To all who played a part in my journey of realizing the importance of words: Thank You. I've realized it's not too late to be bound by our current vocabulary level, no matter where you're at, you can improve - and it's as worth it now as it was when you were 2. It's a big world out there, and we're all missing it, because we can't see beyond our own vocabulary. <b>Learn Words.</b></div>
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- Body</h2>
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse and forget about my body.<br />
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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to entertain the mind, over my body. I.e. binge eating candy.<br />
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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dissociate from my breath, heart and living flesh, so I can go on a vacation in the mind for some energetic stimulation addiction.</div>
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I commit myself to take a breath, slow down, be with my body, cry if I need to, learn from my mistakes, and commit to new awareness.<br />
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I commit myself to eat better, to cook my own food more often, and to consider the long-time point of view for everything I ingest.<br />
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I commit myself to a daily routine, to honor my body, through exercise and stilling the mind from time to time.<br />
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<b>I commit myself to honor my body.</b></div>
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- Me</h2>
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None of this would be possible if it weren't for me.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR3o9vnvae2ktLUE5BCZz60RYOihqe0bW4hduQPrL95x7VrAjzDt50EJYDMvgZtC2VJ_LIaDjkD3k2n_EanRL25ArL6ca0XWrRRvDpngjqGqXYYEq_-p1ojMPIPO1f8Apug6QAIOG-jeQ/s1600/gratitude+selfie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhR3o9vnvae2ktLUE5BCZz60RYOihqe0bW4hduQPrL95x7VrAjzDt50EJYDMvgZtC2VJ_LIaDjkD3k2n_EanRL25ArL6ca0XWrRRvDpngjqGqXYYEq_-p1ojMPIPO1f8Apug6QAIOG-jeQ/s320/gratitude+selfie.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Thank you Daniel, you've made many good decisions in your life so far. Keep it up! Don't let yourself get stuck in a rut. You can do what ever you set your sights on. Thanks for sticking with me, as me. We'll get this done! I believe in me.</div>
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Thanks for reading..<br />
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- All</h2>
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(this is now a comprehensive list, goodbye)</div>
Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-26103679479676969932018-09-03T23:24:00.000-07:002018-09-03T23:24:19.108-07:00Day 446 - Meeting People OnlineI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself fear that others will not like me and then harshly criticize me, which would further ruin <i>my reputation</i>.<br />
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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create the idea of 'my reputation' and separate myself from it, so that I exist in constant paranoia around managing 'my rep', instead of living and expressing me genuinely, and having my reputation simply follow.<br />
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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to micromanage my expression, in any and all of my interactions with others, out of the fear of non-acceptance.<br />
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I commit myself to embrace self-acceptance, and journey on in my writing-expression, unencumbered by paranoid fears of potential judgments.<br />
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I commit myself to focus on my immediate, direct participation with the words I express, flowing with what comes up, so that I may channel my inner to my outer, and really begin to sort my existence out.<br />
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I commit myself to fear no troll.<br />
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There's a lot of parallels between meeting people <a href="https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=IRL" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">IRL</a> and meeting people online:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxD1cmAE8AXF9DKploiC0qEK6jSOZUtS6cZEbAoTcKVtjtZa2v7W2w0bdd2abB7wjva6FQTxsOvO1wL8fFRV6ml05-3xQKvYDoISI0BB-GAgpO2CT5x86kCqL7LDZRNiR232RqtIFUD7Y/s1600/community-419045_1280.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1066" data-original-width="1280" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxD1cmAE8AXF9DKploiC0qEK6jSOZUtS6cZEbAoTcKVtjtZa2v7W2w0bdd2abB7wjva6FQTxsOvO1wL8fFRV6ml05-3xQKvYDoISI0BB-GAgpO2CT5x86kCqL7LDZRNiR232RqtIFUD7Y/s320/community-419045_1280.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<li>Venue/Forum/Topic</li>
<li>Participation</li>
<li>One-on-One Interactions</li>
<li>...and surely more!</li>
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One of the first online communities I joined was about hypnotism. I found an interesting group of people supporting one another to reprogram themselves with hypnotic induction. I was curious, and when the new Forum went live on their site, I decided to participate. And with having an active role, I became a community leader. I eventually lost interest in this topic, but I learned a lot about being in an online, social environment during that first go-around.</div>
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From there, I realized that there is probably any kind of group online that one may want to find, so it becomes a question of: which topic(s) am I so interested in, that I would be willing essentially move to a new town (metaphorically) and commit my time and attention to actively participating in a new community?</div>
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To be a participant in an active community, seem like a daunting thing, and a mundane thing. Daunting if you're moving to a new country! Mundane, from the perspective that we've always been an active member in our own, personal communities. The internet has really given us access to stretching and expanding our "community." The capacity to broadcast my expression, subjecting myself to ALL, a.k.a. the biggest community, is not within my comfort zone.</div>
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My comfort zone / programming, is being able to manipulate one or several people into buying into my bullshit, so I see like the most right person. No, no. I need to stand by something more stable than your run-of-the-mill ego design.</div>
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Principle</h2>
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I commit myself to standing by principle, unwavering, so that I may be vulnerable and strong at the same time: while sharing myself online.</div>
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I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to really meet me, and so have created difficulty with meeting and bonding with others, online or IRL.</div>
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I commit myself to continuing with my writing journey, so that I may see myself, as the words I'm willing to stand by and publish to the Interwebz.</div>
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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to cower, lurk, hide, believing that as long as I keep my head down, no one will see me, and so they won't judge me...all the while, not realizing that it was never about anyone else, anyway.</div>
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I commit myself to vulnerably <b>participating</b> in all information and groups that I take interest in, and not just lurking and reading. After all, <i>"knowledge without application, is useless."</i></div>
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hoard information out of fear of survival, like, "I will need this info possibly in the future to have leverage over another."</div>
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I commit myself to integrating the common sense principles of life, equality and oneness - into my living practice as a human, so that I may be of sound support to others who too have had enough of this awkward self-created chaos we find ourselves in.</div>
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--</div>
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When we stand by principle, we can have really golden friendships.</div>
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The consistency is alluring to the masses who lose sight of themselves daily.</div>
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--</div>
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So, for this post, just a few layers of fears that I faced while approaching online/off-line community participation. Being a +1 in any group of other +1's is very rewarding! Self as a team is much more powerful than Self alone!</div>
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So whaddaya say Gang!?</div>
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Hiphip...</div>
Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-65860060875822005512018-09-02T23:56:00.000-07:002018-09-02T23:56:20.196-07:00Day 445 - Teh Interwebs<div dir="ltr">
What is the interwebz you may ask? (<a href="https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/interweb" rel="" target="_blank">research</a>, <a href="https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=interweb" rel="" target="_blank">research</a>, <a href="https://www.dictionary.com/browse/interweb" target="_blank">research</a>)</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQmU6x5QmR-mBOUsR1ED62WRoGCOPSNqHtN56aN3TR0WLn7fh5DlwvxkylFIj30879g4HVPgZPk2ySLjQGizx3VLP4HjL6m9l3k31orLCsW2-HyqrxXb1fjs0_7oTNeKAQz8-cq_x_EYc/s1600/1535945635683.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQmU6x5QmR-mBOUsR1ED62WRoGCOPSNqHtN56aN3TR0WLn7fh5DlwvxkylFIj30879g4HVPgZPk2ySLjQGizx3VLP4HjL6m9l3k31orLCsW2-HyqrxXb1fjs0_7oTNeKAQz8-cq_x_EYc/s320/1535945635683.jpg" width="240" /></a>For me, it is a wonderful space that I can portal through to connect with other people and information, at my will. Its profundity, is simply unseen by the majority that follow the flashing lights. Just like the Vegas-goer archtype, we ourselves seek the lights, the energy, the fun, the stimulation!</div>
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This behavior has been studied by people with <i>big</i> money, obviously, and for a long time before the internet generations. So it begs the question, how are the <i>big</i> players of today, capitalizing on our lack of impulse control and desire for stimulations?</div>
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Who are the big players in the attention market today? You know the ones. Just pay attention, to where your attention goes when you're connected to the interwebz, most of the time.</div>
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Cool crypto side note: The new <a href="https://brave.com/" target="_blank">Brave</a> browser works in conjunction with the Basic Attention Token (BAT) to reward the web content producers based on the time you spend on their websites. I like that it brings more awareness and control of our attention, back to self, instead of those evil marketing scientists vying for our attention, and effectively so! (A multi-billion dollar market!)</div>
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The <u><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attention_economy" target="_blank">economy of attention</a></u> is a wonderful concept to bring into awareness. First understand it, then observe self in relation to the new information, then start integrating it into self-awareness. That's done in the physical. Like any practice: Small, humble steps in the beginning. Then you pick up pace, ask smarter questions, take more risks, have a few falls... But before you know it, you're directing your attention with more meta-awareness than you ever even knew was possible!..for example.</div>
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Education is a powerful force, when we make it so. I could go on about my thrills and throw downs around this topic of education, but that'll be for blogs to come. The main point to take note of here is: our <b>connection to information</b> is monumentally faster than EVER BEFORE. To the student wielding pointed questions, this is an incredibly powerful tool.</div>
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...And with great power comes, great:</div>
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RESPONSIBILITY</h2>
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Kind of a hectic word in my history. But with time, it's growing on me. I've wanted to avoid it, but I like power....hmmm..</div>
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I've come to find that there is a <i>direct</i> relationship to responsibility and power. I've sought the leveraged way for many years, trying to do half the work and "earn" twice as much. I saw that others in the world were doing this, and I couldn't see anything preventing me from doing just the same.</div>
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So, I asked that question: Why not me?</div>
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Years later and because I had become a savvy web user, the answer was able to arrive.</div>
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Throughout my schooling years, I utilized the interwebz to seek higher truths. At the end of '09, Desteni group found my attention. I had a blast assimilating that information, because it rang true, based on what I had been reading and researching up to then...but there was one little hiccup. The concept of <u>oneness and equality</u> sounds great, but then I slowly began to realize that if I'm equal, then I can't be more than others, and that was why I started on as a truth-seeker, just lovin' up on the interwebz, learning all I could, so that I could know more than others, and ultimately..save them.</div>
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<div>
So, years of integration later, I'm still dismantling the savior complex, realizing how normal I am, seeing me as the accepted and allowed programming, and gently letting that of me go, as I breathe into a new physical moment with my body. The equation of oneness and equality is fairly simple in the physical plane of existence. ie. 1+1=2; What is best for all? Piece a cake.</div>
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All this to say that my childhood dreams of leveraging intellect to save the world with the least amount of effort, came crashing down. In ways, they're still crashin'!</div>
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What I'm finding as the more I let that go, the more stable I am in my workflow, my "generative output" as I like to call it. And with practice, I'm getting more and more honed in on that sweet spot of responsibly directing my attention in the physical for the highest good that I can create, for myself and ultimately others, too. It's an accumulative and worthwhile effort.</div>
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With regards to using the interweb to connect with people...</div>
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I'll get to that tomorrow.</div>
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-24006015574011575282018-09-01T22:21:00.000-07:002018-09-01T22:34:23.409-07:00Day 444 - Going DeeperWhat was that?<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKin6ekLq4mKJHEKNw_HYB9LN1y7sQZsIzc_UIAAfcoa6kYH3mHobnXHv-ZfTeJoJwC8xjhqdwB-dJGUZ4xu8dNgljV5Df4x-ZqdbBLCO96MMG_M_rC-7wtFlRedIyywlCfpXYrl-Dceg/s1600/Realtime-blogging-with-music.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="859" data-original-width="1600" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKin6ekLq4mKJHEKNw_HYB9LN1y7sQZsIzc_UIAAfcoa6kYH3mHobnXHv-ZfTeJoJwC8xjhqdwB-dJGUZ4xu8dNgljV5Df4x-ZqdbBLCO96MMG_M_rC-7wtFlRedIyywlCfpXYrl-Dceg/s400/Realtime-blogging-with-music.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This one, chill tab really enhanced my writing flow for this blog post!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Where was I?</div>
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How did I let myself stop writing for such a long time?</div>
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Fascinating, it is, to go deeper into what, why & how things have become they way they are in our lives.</div>
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Something cool I've realized in myself is that I have a lot to share. The uncool layer is that I was so wrapped up in my head about wanting to share in some ultra-specific, perfect way (and that's a deep hole!), that I would give way to simple resistances, such as "It can wait.." instead of pushing myself to be a better me.</div>
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I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to share the gift of me, with me, and the rest of humanity. Unashamed. Raw. Humble. Whatever, just stop thinking about what/how others' care about my expression, prior to me just plainly & authentically being: me.</div>
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Who am I?</div>
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It's such a multidimensional question; and as such, it requires multiple answers. Let's take this one chunk at a time here, because I know there is a lot to who I am.<br /></div>
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Prominently, I want to identify as a writer.....but today, it's more = "a writer, going through 'writer's block', for far long enough now."</div>
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But what's really going on, behind the scenes, that I'm using to justify such a long-standing act of limiting my own expression?</div>
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Today, I really wanted to keep this entry short, like the one prior, for ease of reading.<i> Digestibility</i> of my content, is one of my favorite criteria for publishing my works, and it's something of a gift, and a curse. I can either place myself in fear-paralysis that my expression will not be well understood, and build myself a "good enough" barrier that effectively bars my writing efforts; or I can simply <b>take the principle into practice</b>, work with improving my writing skills, expand the way in which I actively critique my writing, vs judging how I may be perceived from the stand point of others as the critics that I must impress. Done with that.</div>
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to orient so severely to others' possible perceptions of me, that I have lost nearly all focus on driving my own divinity, as the authentic point of departure from my own breath. The me that isn't fucked with by the mind.</div>
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I commit myself to continue my journey to life, in writing, here for all to see. Maybe blogger, definitely <a href="http://steemit.com/@dan2all">steemit.com/@dan2all</a> as I continue to work myself out of this lil slump I've been in. YouTube, I can't wait. I'm burning up wanting to share, stifled for way too long by only inner resistances. Fool.</div>
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I've worked on my writing and typing for YEARS...I am more than capable. Just need to see me and know that I can move in the ways I know I can move, and MOVE.</div>
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Can I write a blog every day this month?...of course I can. Who's going to stop me, but me and my own allowance of the mind's silly self-sabotage programming?! I've kinda been working myself into a corner, and I can't see many unknown variables at this point....I'm sure my mind could drum up something, naturally evolving in its self-preservation program, as it has, rising to the occasion to stop full life force flowin'.....but even this has gone on, and on, and on, and on...I'm starting to see the patters of patterns, and at this point, it seems I'd have to REALLLY want to hide, suppress, and give way to the mind, to keep choosing self-dishonesty.</div>
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I forgive myself that, to any degree, I have accepted and allowed me to be dishonest with myself.</div>
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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide/cover/suppress various truths of me from my awareness, so that I do not have to accept the responsibility of what it really is to be alive.</div>
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I commit myself to blog each day this month. To drop in to a breath and begin. As resistances or fears come up, rinse and repeat with that breath.</div>
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No need to pre-edit my expression with subconscious chatter of yesteryear. I commit myself to place myself in writing, with whatever judgements I or others have of me, self-acceptance, and from there, see how I can improve the conveyance of me, through this awesome new multi-dimensional communication medium, commonly known as....</div>
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(see you tomorrow;)</div>
Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-91570136878054968882018-08-28T16:47:00.000-07:002018-08-28T16:47:46.002-07:00Day 443 - Petrified in My Hiatus In a whirlwind of varying forms of self-interest, I've taken great pause in my blogging efforts. It's a mixture of many points, but the basic resistances and fears are now clear enough for me to resume writing.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDCjc1oTpLNmV_irp0iTDOHSGfpW2BWbcYhCYyiLyd3c5iQd5MaDQcr728rx4ZLBRGj3_yiNa76e7Hu1rCZXxgj69RcqHB4sLtrM_YqvvQlRX2woDhBAkttMCQkfZCsf0D0Qn11uwmTmE/s1600/screaming+inside+my+head.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="1280" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDCjc1oTpLNmV_irp0iTDOHSGfpW2BWbcYhCYyiLyd3c5iQd5MaDQcr728rx4ZLBRGj3_yiNa76e7Hu1rCZXxgj69RcqHB4sLtrM_YqvvQlRX2woDhBAkttMCQkfZCsf0D0Qn11uwmTmE/s320/screaming+inside+my+head.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><a href="https://pixabay.com/en/no-nope-tank-3039799/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">credit</a></span></td></tr>
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<br />
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what others will think of me.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget that I am a self leader.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make my process dependent on the state and condition of my mind, readily allowing fear to shut me up and shut me down.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget the power that comes with writing myself to freedom.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to create only great posts, and then choose to NOT write because I fear my writing will be relative crap.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the multidimensions of comparison, within and without, as a tool of self-diminishment.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest a lack of confidence and downward spiral of my physical process.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to <b>slow down</b>, and reassess where I'm at, where I'm headed, and what changes <i>I</i> want to make.<br />
<br />
--<br />
<br />
I commit myself to be creative.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to STOP self-judgment that bars my creation processes.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to explore the multitude of ways that I can express myself online to share my process and the cool information I've been investigating.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to the remembrance of my higher purpose, and that I am not just writing for me.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to make the rest of 2018, something I can be proud of, and stop fooling around.<br />
<br />
In this one life, I have a chance to really live.<br />
<br />
Here forward, I commit myself to continue sharing all that is me in this journey.<br />
<br />
Thank you (for your patience).Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-81116162330061788552017-12-18T00:00:00.000-08:002017-12-18T00:00:46.558-08:00Day 442 - Speak up, son!<br />
To be a man. To be seen as a man. To hold my body as a man. To <i>sound</i> like a man!<br />
<br />
This is but one way I've oriented myself, through the backchat comparison of Self to Man.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as 'less than' those who hold themselves in this confident, present <i>voice</i> - one that I have not seen in me for myself.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself and my vocal expression to others firstly, trying to shape my expression in a safe and specific way, so as to hide myself, for I do not want to be judged for my authentic, self expression.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prefer the 'safety' of projecting characters of me out in the world, instead of allowing myself, within/through Self-Acceptance, just be, and express me naturally, simply.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create myself within and through AMBITION, not seeing realizing or understanding the significance of my starting point being rooted in fear, inferiority.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see myself as ACCEPTED, by all and by me -- and to ride the wave of awareness and focus as I drive me into perfect, verbal expression.<br />
<br />
When and as I see myself getting in a head spin about not wanting to talk or speak up, because I "can't find my words" - I see and understand that there is resistance to self-honesty for one fear/reason or another.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to slow down and get self-honest.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to show myself that I <i>do</i> want to go there.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to show COURAGE in my stand.<br />
<br />
When and as I see myself perceiving myself as in-fear-ior to another person, I stop, I breathe. I realize my equality as 1, just as they are 1, too. I commit myself to speak with confidence, knowing what I want to say before & as I start flapping vocal chords..<br />
<br />
I commit myself to seeing me as 1, and equal.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to voicing myself with integrity, utilizing my body to place specific ripples into motion, bring life to words and words to life.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to trust myself through this process.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to stop hesitating when the Self-judger backchat starts to speak up - and to rather move into my body, find the words, and engage in co-created presence.<br />
<br />
One.<br />
Word.<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhnJ8V0I3QjfSHbp0wPmDiI2mpU8zQNMLXuzRgZgSndwJPdsdZydf1ZEmRFAgqTzqu0LCig8jZBQpErBlOYBhnaSbMAQSq0yFoeh28d4Il5OOAe6PBS9lX9SKtegEAewKxYrPV6PqjnA4/s1600/man-talking.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="853" data-original-width="1280" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhnJ8V0I3QjfSHbp0wPmDiI2mpU8zQNMLXuzRgZgSndwJPdsdZydf1ZEmRFAgqTzqu0LCig8jZBQpErBlOYBhnaSbMAQSq0yFoeh28d4Il5OOAe6PBS9lX9SKtegEAewKxYrPV6PqjnA4/s200/man-talking.jpg" width="200" /></a>At.<br />
A.<br />
Time.<br />
<br />
OWAAT<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<i><br /></i>
<i>And a sneak peak for next time:</i><br />
<br />
<i>I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am inherently inferior to others to speak sense effortlessly, and seem to already have social approval/recognition - something I can only ever hope for because <u>I perceive others to have the power of assigning acceptance to me</u>...</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>--</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Check out <a href="http://dantolife.blogspot.com/p/what-is-process.html">process</a>, lots happening!Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-65083340430998761272017-12-15T15:05:00.000-08:002017-12-15T15:10:06.947-08:00Day 441 - Reboot Writer Character<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgefWQuHpB4IDh3AQz1tte0tFCusI75K2V4UEZoK1BLuXUAifwoPorMJscR2eqIIn65IzZT_I-wFp9uzh8NwQmyR-0D7Bw_KVCEGmnJoVWn7ZIjLlrO05_1IyRhVGvtKilD37XHG2abUPA/s1600/robot+writer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="877" data-original-width="750" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgefWQuHpB4IDh3AQz1tte0tFCusI75K2V4UEZoK1BLuXUAifwoPorMJscR2eqIIn65IzZT_I-wFp9uzh8NwQmyR-0D7Bw_KVCEGmnJoVWn7ZIjLlrO05_1IyRhVGvtKilD37XHG2abUPA/s200/robot+writer.jpg" width="170" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Option A) Let shame compound and drive me further into the ground.<br />
<br />
<br />
Option B) Just start writing.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a million and one expectations for myself as a writer, and shut myself down before I begin.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disconnect writing as a solution, even though I have seen how effective this practice is in creating stability in my life.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself feel unworthy of your attention, unless I perform to a high-standard and expectation that I create for myself.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create high expectations for myself out of fear that I will be judged as insignificant otherwise.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realize and understand, IT IS ONLY ME that has me caught up in a loop of self-critical stagnation.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to stop postponing the inevitable, and start taking responsibility for what I am creating of myself in my life.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to stop blaming external factors for why I write, support myself, or not.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to reinstate writing as a immediate, accessible process at my disposal each and every day.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to NOT turn writing into a <i>big</i> thing, and then give up when I see that my expectations of myself and reality don't line up.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to make myself a writer by taking small steps to write daily, here on Blogger, soon on Steem, and/or in my private journal(s).<br />
<br />
I commit myself to attaining success, in process and in life, one small, action at a time.<br />
<br />
<br />
I'm going to explore an interesting character dimension in upcoming posts: of not feeling worthy of being seen or heard in the world, and so silencing myself and not participating, when in reality, I could surely have participated and contributed in a significant and meaningful way. #WorthinessWeekDanielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-41622282523770635732016-12-29T00:05:00.000-08:002016-12-29T00:05:50.983-08:00Day 440 - Oops I Stopped RightingI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to store and accumulate thoughts, pending direction.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel the need to walk my process privately AND justify not posting to blogger AND not write privately.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand the connection of consequence to my choice to not physicallize myself.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to walk my process for others.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on others to pull me through.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself fear that I am not able to stand up in the world.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to elaborate on this thought, giving color and breadth to the idea of my rejection/failure.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to orient my expression toward achieving desired reactions, rather than simply sharing me, my writing, my expression of righting.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to continue dredging up all that I have suppressed, in words, for your eyes and/or mine, to walk acceptance of who and what I have become, to walk forgiveness, to right myself.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to write privately if and when I must, and no longer accept or allow myself to use this as an excuse to avoid self-investigative/self-corrective writing altogether.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to spend 20 minutes a day - writing.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT9opd8tyg4BoAAAkQOLEtwTKb1k1B0jwMfii1PYbfV9jI5ShmnXclWxSlRy6Oh8TMIu6RHzoeN0iVm2x-6wYmBc6pQjhPQt-AFP5fNUx_tyEqzVhknU5AY9J3N4P9pQ7TL49EL9AjkIA/s1600/journal.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgT9opd8tyg4BoAAAkQOLEtwTKb1k1B0jwMfii1PYbfV9jI5ShmnXclWxSlRy6Oh8TMIu6RHzoeN0iVm2x-6wYmBc6pQjhPQt-AFP5fNUx_tyEqzVhknU5AY9J3N4P9pQ7TL49EL9AjkIA/s320/journal.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-9611236333295793022016-11-30T22:37:00.000-08:002016-11-30T22:37:34.514-08:00Day 439 - Writer's Constipation<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbR7veshoKnAeoKVhDwRwfN2QAS80acEk1ttDak-y2nGdYlSTvSC7irXlrw_buRH9PFgibQCGkfIWExZnCeNoKzCYgfyqQAnb7wz7H27F-dYLxiGiZYlAWguMUDFUkkCOjAqjgFJVu-TU/s1600/chronic+constipation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbR7veshoKnAeoKVhDwRwfN2QAS80acEk1ttDak-y2nGdYlSTvSC7irXlrw_buRH9PFgibQCGkfIWExZnCeNoKzCYgfyqQAnb7wz7H27F-dYLxiGiZYlAWguMUDFUkkCOjAqjgFJVu-TU/s320/chronic+constipation.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in any and/or all of my excuses for why I am too busy to write.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget to prioritize my actions with a more fully integrated perspective - cross referencing the bigger picture in real time, so as not to get wrapped up in the emotional moment.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get lost in my thoughts on a trail of blame and then move on without acknowledging how I directed that moment in myself and so my external.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand I am = how I <i>choose</i> to respond to the various equations that come up in life.<br />
<br />
In realizing my <i>choice</i> is me, allowing a reaction of mind to direct my expression, is a choice! If I am only at best aware of my reactions, I will die in and as the mind consciousness system. I am and only will be of mind - unless, I apply myself diligently with the tools: writing, (sounding) self-forgiveness, correction practice: Live process.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget to live process in every moment.<br />
<br />
I commit myself back to daily writing. (Dan, keep yourself in check; no one's going to do this for ya!)<br />
<br />
I commit myself to practice shutting down the thought-replay backchats in my mind more quickly, moving into breath upon awareness, no longer allowing my desire for experience to justify my participation in the mind.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to use proper time management techniques, so that I'm effectively attending to an increasing load of responsibilities.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to get a little more stern with myself when my justifications for not making time for writing a blog post come up. I stop, I breathe. I organize my time effectively so this priority, writing, happens.<br />
<br />
When and as I see myself slipping into blogless days, I commit myself to debunking the justification as soon as possible, and getting back to it. This process means too much, and as one of few who understands this, I have push myself to birth myself in the physical....if you know what I mean.<br />
<br />
I still want to hide. Because I'm not fully integrated here. I'm not standing. I'm not the leading example I know I can be. WHY? Let go. Let it all go. That's why. I am holding on to the past.<br />
<br />
- - TO BE CONTINUED - -<br />
<br />
<br />Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-29549877821798999342016-11-12T16:04:00.000-08:002016-11-12T16:04:56.691-08:00Day 438 - Voicing Me<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja6KkOYyVex33NzKKpfHOmucQxyzGph9Uk3dS_aNFXnjkvoBePL-5q2mwvvwxgnr6e57Qck0m8-4VOUm3YoBIDQlycDrrCO7j9j7FnH5xaLamINL_LOdmLUL-aChRtaUd7I74X_OLeKho/s1600/singer.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja6KkOYyVex33NzKKpfHOmucQxyzGph9Uk3dS_aNFXnjkvoBePL-5q2mwvvwxgnr6e57Qck0m8-4VOUm3YoBIDQlycDrrCO7j9j7FnH5xaLamINL_LOdmLUL-aChRtaUd7I74X_OLeKho/s200/singer.png" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Speaking in an intricate act. Formulation of words to build concepts and understanding is a miraculous feat. Sharing understanding with others is one of the most precious gifts of humanity. I write this blog to share some of the information processing that goes on behind the scenes of me. I have a duty to place myself in words. This is my chief aim. It would seem absurd to continue allowing inFEARiority, in all it's forms, to suppress one of the greatest gifts I can give to all.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to stand up within myself to share my understandings to the best of my ability in every interaction, while remaining a humble learner, equal and one with everyone.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to contributing my vantage point whenever it can effectively support what is best for all.<br />
<br />
Here, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to debase myself with self-diminishing thoughts like "I'm not smart enough to speak in this group of people" or "I have nothing of worth to share" or "I don't want to be ridiculed for my choice of words," as who I am is expressed in my words.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to suppress myself as my words, in fear that by expressing myself, I open myself up to attack.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that no matter what anyone says about me or my words, <u>I am not harmed.</u><br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being publicly ostracized, for this means my chances of survival are compromised - or that my chances of being liked by <i>the girl</i> are lost.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear loss, when and as I express myself, and so have chosen to rather suppress myself, and through this create the exact loss (of opportunity, of potential) that I feared.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to express myself despite fear, put myself out there, and risk it all.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to embrace risk, cast off fear, as I stand and express myself within principle.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to share myself with the world, and stop this self-diminishing mind program that I've built and participated in since early childhood. Till here, no further.<br />
<br />
I commit myself to investigate and release myself from any related systems of self-doubt, when and as they arrive in my conscious mind.<br />
<br />
I have one life to live, and time waits for no one. Let's get it done.Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8460974632491514500.post-65282719642170791612016-11-09T19:18:00.000-08:002016-11-09T19:18:37.079-08:00Day 437 - Who am I?<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live
out insecurity, instead of investigating myself with the tools to allow my Life
essence to come through, moving into and within Real Self-Confidence.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is self-forgiveness statement from my personal writings today really stood out for me. It kind of captures this aspect of growing up, becoming a man, and leading my life with a sense of authority within myself. Fearlessness in my decisions to speak or move myself. The insecurity programming that I've been allowing within me, has me often taking the back seat in my life. I've been letting my outside world determine where I go, what I say and do. It's like I'm living for forces outside of myself, not giving myself any respect or worth or say in how <i>I</i> want to live. How do I want to live? Safely? Free from negative judgments from others? I'm sick of not knowing myself? Who am I?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to not know who I am.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe all I am is a shell of a man, a set of personalities that activate in relation to my environment to achieve self-interested ends.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge who I am and believe that is who I am.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build layers of self-protection upon layers of self-protection, within incredible fear, fear of being exposed, and to have lost touch with myself, not realizing that I am also the very fear that I've created as the layers of ego and characterized personality programs to hide myself.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT accept all of me that is here, within and without. I realize my equality of self inside and outside, and thus commit myself to acknowledging my inherent responsibility in creating my experience of and in this world.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate WHO I AM from others, from politics, from all that is here manifested in this world - not realizing within this vantage point of separation, I am creating myself into the mind consciousness system, defining my individual ego standing in relation to everything else, limiting myself, my expression and my capacity to create significant change in the world.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to direct my insecurities and character flaws through a process of detailed self-investigation and self-forgiveness, so that I can own them, see me clearly, and create a correction plan.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge my insecurities, suppress them, act like everything is cool, and think that I'm winning.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to embrace all of me, the good and the bad, and WORK to change myself and become better, to the best of my ability.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear acknowledging my faults, and believe that they are real only through recognition, and so create an adverse relationship to <i>self-honesty</i>.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear what I've become, not want to face it, and effectively bar myself from reaching my potential because I'm not even honest with myself about where I'm at.<br />
<br />
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be a day dreamer, judging myself by the potential I see I could become, and reject the reality of who I am today.<br />
<br />
--<br />
<br />
When and as I see that I am feeling low self-esteem, I stop, I breathe. I realize that all of me is here, and from within and as my breath, I can accept where I'm at, and work with releasing the layers of self-deception that I've constructed myself to believe I am. I commit myself to transmute any energy of feeling low or down about myself and where I'm at in life, into a resounding resolve to walk the Desteni process: identify my responsibility for what is here as me, forgive/let go, and move forward in creating myself with clear starting point and direction.<br />
<br />
When and as I see myself believing this process is too hard, I stop, I breathe. I realize that I am who I am in what I create in EVERY moment of thought, word and deed. I commit myself to apply breath when the going gets tough, to assist and support with orienting myself to creating the best version of myself.<br />
<br />
When and as I see myself trying to escape the reality of who I am by orienting to creating positive feelings, I stop, I breathe. I realize that temporarily suppressing my dark moments of the soul is an action of me robbing me from a great opportunity to understand and transcend a significant layer of my self programming. I commit myself to the full realization that suppression is NOT the best way forward, and to move into the honesty of what is here as me, no matter how ugly/miserable it may be, so that I may put a real stop to it and end the cycle of self-abuse, one system at a time.<br />
<br />
<br />
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Danielhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07884449311388301872noreply@blogger.com0