Day 172 - Glazing Over

This is a continuation from yesterday (Day 171 - Zoned Out Episodes) where I am continuing to open up this aspect of myself that seems impossible to overcome.

A friend told me today that she heard from someone who recently learned from a higher-up yogi that we should not judge ourselves for spacing out because sometimes we need it to recharge. I thought is was kind of cool because I didn't think of it as recharge. Yesterday, I was framing this phenomena as primarily a negative distraction and didn't consider it as a mental recharge. This could explain why I'm finding it so easy to drift off: Mentally, I crave it.

While I was free writing about some more Zone-Out dimensions earlier and have gained a little more insight into the extent of this mental behavior:
  • It's easy in, and easy to stay in - I follow the thought, into another thought, into another...
    • ends with glorified conclusion - insight, realization, connection
    • Intriguing thought-train
  • There is a feeling of comfort & safety associated
  • I allow/excuse/justify drifting off when experiencing resistance to writing/work
  • It happens while listening to others
    • relating to pre-existing knowledge and/or formulating a response
  • Loss of awareness of posture / all of physicality

So, bottom line: I do not support the mind as me to exist in separation any longer. When and as I see myself "recharging" my mind, I stop, I breathe. I commit myself to breathe myself back into awareness of me within the physical reality that's stable and remain here always.

I commit myself to working through all the layers related to zoning out, where I let myself go free into mind without any real consideration/care for the world around me. I understand this will take some time, but without starting, I will get nowhere.

Prepare your minds for tomorrow's boatload of self-forgiveness, as I proactively remove some of these conditioned layers/relationships toward allowing my mind to freely take dominion over my awareness.

Thank you for reading.

I stopped eating donuts but thought this to be an appropriate image for today :)