Day 186 - Happy Be-Earth Day

Today is my birthday.


So what?

- People give me attention. I like it. Facebook has amplified this effect by making it easier for others to contact me.
- Family wants to treat me specially.
- I feel like it is a significant day more for introspective reasons and life assessment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to need/want/like when others give me attention because it validates my existence in a way. - I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself according to the external attention I receive, where more attention = I am more. - I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I am more than life, in any way.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect that my family will give me special treatment on my birthday. - I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to power trip and take advantage of the high/special position that I am placed in to dictate how things should go today, not realizing that this is an energetic resonance that I have long sought throughout my life: control. How have I missed my control freak character?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make one day, or even one moment more special than any other moment, where in this I accept and allow the mind to amplify and augment reality as I go off into it as a departure from reality here. - I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to treat every day as special and significant to reflect on who I am / who I've become, so that I can direct myself to be productive and effective within every able moment.
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When and as I see myself or a particular moment as more special than someone or some other time, I stop I breathe. I realize that my mind creates this feeling and through my participation within it, I create consequence within polarity. I commit myself to walk out of my favorite personalities/characters where I generate a conception of my self-worth in relation / comparison toward others. I commit myself to this equalization process until all is free.