Day 15 - Clearing Attachment to Nail Biting

...Continued from yesterday's post.

Oh my! I am so reluctant to face this point. Push! Puhhsshh!

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create this experience of difficulty within this process.

I forgive myself for biting my nails.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bite my nails for any reason.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use this fall point to justify giving up on my process to self-honesty, and for allowing myself to continue for so long.

I forgive myself that I have not yet given myself the chance to real commitment in stopping my nail biting, for in the past I have tried and fallen = dishonest attempts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to reach a point of stability within honesty to actually quit, and in this I forgive myself that I have created a fear of failure of which I acted on by not standing back up after a fall/bite.

I feel I'm at the tip of the iceberg, and yet I feel a sure increase in will to stop, yet I see this is an accumulation of energy behind this = dishonest..

Continuing:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing doubt to creep in without my awareness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to doubt being able to actually STOP bitng, and stand within this decision as an honest expression of myself.

I forgive myself for not giving myself the chance to really stand up and make this decision true.

^ that was real! wow

Now, going back to yesterday's post to get specific with what came up then:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having my nail ripped off. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold on to the memory of my brother having his nail ripped off when the screen door closed on his finger, and in this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing this incident to manifest the thought that I should just chew my fingers when finger nail clippers aren't around...and I forgive myself for acting on this thought, and for repressing this origin point, thinking that because I've identified it, I need not forgive it.

I forgive myself for thinking that I don't need self-forgiveness to get over my accepted and allowed modes of existence and that I can think my way to freedom. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as this thought (just bite them; it's convenient) for over a decade.

 whew,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to raise my hand to my mouth for comfort. This oral fixation is dated, and possibly related to the very early years of thumb sucking...hmm.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience comfort when I have my fingers or thumbs in my mouth for sucking or biting.

I forgive myself that I accept and allow anxiety to build up, and within this, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing fingernail biting as an outlet for this anxious tension.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow myself to continue to bite my fingernails once I've caught myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from my nails, making it "ok" to eat bits of my human physical body.

I forgive myself for not trusting myself that I have within my full control, the power to decide to STOP. Corrective application statements to come in the next installment. (You've read enough for one day = I've typed enough for one day)