Ok, so I want to start my self-forgiveness, but I've hesitated all day, and as my father would say:
"He who hesitates, is lost."
I am now creating an experience of being lost within my starting point. I doubt my ability to stop biting my nails & I doubt my ability to start stopping. Just before I sat down to finish Day 14, I was unconsciously biting while watching a movie with my sweet mother. It frequently happens as such: Movie with conflict/tension --> hand to mouth, realize it after an indeterminable amount of time because I was unconscious of when I began, THEN CONTINUE TO BITE!! Against my deepest wishes, I continue, as if I don't have the will power to STOP.
EVEN NOW I BITE IN THE ANXIETY OF GETTING THIS TYPED OUT!!!
I'm going to outline this point of nail biting, sleep on it, and get back to you tomorrow. I need to reach a point of stable trust within before I start. And if this works... I've tried for so long..
Why do I doubt? How can I excuse my BS over, and over again. I am the one that allows this program to flourish. I am the one that accepts this crappy habit as a form of self-expression that is NOT best for all. ...Big breath in.....out,
To Be Continued...