Now, how fast did you begin reading this next paragraph. Did you not want to participate? Were you aware of that moment from the breath perspective that everything stood still, in motion. It's not like we can't function when we are aware of our breathing. On the contrary, I have a more stable sense of direction when I take a breath and move from there.
Here is a fellow JTLer that posted this great point of support just before I started my JTL:
4 Count Breath as Emergency Tool of Self-Support
It's a very well written example of how to slow down and see who self is in a moment. What I've noticed in the past few minutes of bringing myself back to my breath is that there are many thoughts racing through my head at pretty much any given moment. The thoughts move me and yet, I do not consider where they come from. Automated thinking patterns from an unknown origin. The cool part is that I can figure it out.
Imagine calling out a friend. How easy is it to see their flaw or their biased starting point? Now, imagine becoming self-accountable for each of self's thoughts. Where they come from? To source every reaction, every mind initiated starting point, being brutally honest with self in every moment of awareness..
Seems impossible. Or rather perhaps the most challenging challenge of life. Whatever. I'm doing it. I'm excited to see what 7 years of self-honest self-investigation reveals about who I am. And I'm stoked for the mindful reader as well. This blog is already becoming a solid document of self-change...oo, and interesting point to consider: Where it is not, is to be reevaluated. Why have I not yet produced change in self (i.e. nail biting habit)? Where can I dig deeper? How can I understand the processes behind my predictive programming? Yes, the tools and prep work that is this writing.
So my blog stands for self-investigation for all to see as well as a document of self change. I've been too focuses on the former, and my self-change has been something I've been waiting for to happen, not realizing that I actually have to do the leg work and make it happen, as I opened up yesterday.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself within and as every breath from the self that is here writing. There is a disconnect between the realizations and living the correction. This point must be investigated until I am effective in this regard to stop wasting time from an energy loaded, perspective spewing writing that results in no self-change.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to my daily living with out the simple awareness of my physical breathing.
I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to slow down within the awareness of my breath to give myself the chance to really see who I am in that moment, how I am reacting to what, why. I realize that I can't hide the truth of self's existence within the brutal self-honesty that is here with every breath.
I commit myself to stop writing because I have to, and start writing to support and facilitate self-change through self-realization.
When and as I see myself within a strong emotion or thought chain, I stop I breathe. I realize my breath. I commit myself to breathing until I make a stable movement, practicing the living of what is best for me and all in that moment.