Day 241 - The Path of Least Resistance

The saying goes "electricity takes the path of least resistance." In reality, energy takes all paths and just most of it goes the path of least resistance. Relating this back to how my mind operates, how my thoughts move and ultimately move me: I tend to move in the path of least resistance.

There is an internal experience of "resistance" that I want to pick apart. The experience can be quite difficult to deal with unless I move with it, meaning I allow it to direct me. That is a fall in terms of being self-directive.  Imagine the energy as a wall at a fork in the road, creating resistance to go down one of the paths. The open path is the easy way. It is to procrastinate. It is to distract oneself. From what? What is the path that the wall blocks? It is the responsible thing to do. To determine what the responsible thing to do is a matter of internal integrity, honesty with self.

And this is the crux of it all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to flow with the energy of mind that is resistance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to empower resistance energy through allowing it to direct me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that resistance energy is my own creation and its power over me is my choice.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear facing resistance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the consequence of allowing resistance to move me is far worse than walking through the momentary discomfort of resistance.

Quoting a friend: "Walking through the resistance - NOT SO EASY, feels like you're walking through 1000 waterfalls rushing within you/infront you that you have to push through"

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear failing in the face of resistance, not realizing that this fear contributes to empower the resistance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to underestimate resistance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to only casually/occasionally push through resistance  and then attribute my 'success' as indefinite.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abdicate my responsibility to make a responsible, self-directed decision, instead of nonchalantly just going with the thoughts that come up in favor of the resistance energy. There are a multitude of excuses that I am aware of that justify this nonchalant, casual acceptance and allowance of resistance energy movements. I commit myself to red flag these excuses/justifications to mark them for asap investigation. This resistance game needs to come to an end, and the only way that's going to happen is if I accumulate responsible decisions.

The movement of energy within is a fascinating topic of study. And if the only thing getting in my way is myself as resistance energy, well, it's time to really take responsibility for my movements. In taking responsibility, I know what I am doing and am able to initially investigate why. From there, I can write/speak the self-forgiveness as an honest expression of myself here. Next step is to write the new law of self, to lay the groundwork of my self-direction, and stick to what works.

But, one step at a time, first step's first.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that resistance will hurt me if I move through it.
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When and as I see myself in the face of resistance, I stop I breathe. I realize this is an opportunity to see my participation within it. I commit myself to moving through resistance or asap writing about why I caved.

To be continued..