Instead, I decided that I was in (referring to this review). I knew that pursuing this knowledge, and more importantly, the understanding of oneness and equality was the only courageous option. If I tried to ignore the group and this message, I couldn't shake the feeling of running with fear into ignorance. All the while, I had kept my distance by participating on the fringe, and mostly lurking around the forums: I'll call this my information gathering stage.
Within this stage of Destonian Development, I had most certainly created a relationship between Desteni and myself. Only now did the point resurface while further investigating my delay character. I realize that by maintaining my relationship toward the group, I placed me in separation of them, and through this separation, was creating a point of external motivation to get my process done. This was causing resistance within delay, similar to the design of delay in relation to my school work as I exposed yesterday.
Andrew's Vlog, here, helped me to understand a few things: 1. My process is really just ME doing self-discovery, and 2. I need to start Vlogging! haha. Thanks for the support Mr. Gable.
This point of bringing my process back to self, for self seems like a big one, yet it's rather quite simple. Self, living here with self, or Self in relation to what's here from the conceptual starting point of self elsewhere. By this, I mean I have created "self" in my head that relates to everything in my life. This is deeper than I originally thought. Stay focused Dan.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from Desteni within a knowledge & information consumption-relationship.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how Desteni stands as a point of support for self to walk self out of the mind, for self.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fantasize about who I am in relation to Desteni and in relationship toward the world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to miss the point of myself alone, walking process for me alone, while supporting others in their lonely journey. Their 'only' journey.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be bigger than life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be bigger than life, instead of realizing myself one and equal as life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have a relationship with life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how I've created relationships to externalized points through a process of of holding "myself" in separation of myself, where I am in my imagination and relating to the world from there.
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When and as I see myself abdicating my responsibility to get my process done for me alone, I stop I breathe. I realize that I must by in a relationship within my mind toward a physical/external point. I commit myself to flag pointing resistance toward work to check for additional points of relationship formation where self is not the starting point for self.
When and as I see myself in my mind's eye, relating toward my physical environment, I stop I breathe. I realize that this process of realizing self as All, one and equal, will take time and with persistence, I will gradually understand my source of motivation as self with all life. I commit myself to recognizing where I am in relationships toward anything or anyone to see how I've defined myself in separation and walk my process accordingly.
When and as I see myself walking process for others first, I stop I breathe. I remember that I am only public within all of this for the benefit of others and for self through feedback; however, I am first and foremost writing self to freedom for self. This is my goal. I commit myself to purifying my relationship with Desteni so that it exists as an establishment of support for all & me, not as something greater or bigger than life in any way.
I commit myself to ending my starting point of self elsewhere, to stop relating to everything around me within my imagination. One step at a time, I investigate myself for me. Simply so.
Hi, thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteA point that greatly assisted me to stop separating myself is watching documentaries, especially about the physical problems that the money system has created like people living next to a water plant but unable to have any water because of having no money. Really puts into perspective which of my problems has been my Mind and which ones are physical.
Interesting. If we don't sort out our mental problems, we may never actually get around to fixing the physical problems. Or rather, we might just not ever care enough to do anything about the poor thirsty people because we have our own (mental) problems ;/
DeleteBest for all, priority #1: Sort self out
Thanks for reading my process!