Day 305 - My Earliest Written Blog Post Yet
Day 304 - Morning Boot Up
Cool. I had a nice opportunity to play with my mind, and what did I find? The morning wasn't kind.
Seriously though, I made some interesting participatory observations. Here's a brief walk through: Alarm goes off, wasn't expecting it, but I adapt. I turn it off during a feeling of heavy wake-up resistance, head straight back to the pillow. Mind reminds me to exercise my breathing application to dissolve the resistance feeling. Slowly, my breathing turns into ego/thought, fail. Recovered 45 minutes later. I realize I can't be laying down in the most comfortable position ever if I want to wake up.
Solution:
One breath
Also, reporting on how the rest of my yesterday went after posting my earliest blog ever :
- Got more done.
- Felt like I still needed to be writing during the 10th and 11th hour of the evening
- Bottom line: When I start my day with self-supportive actions, like writing, I continue my day in a relatively more self-supportive way.
So, here I am now, typing up another morning post. It's freeing. It even seems like the day lasts longer. In addition to waking up earlier, I also don't have a looming responsibility that I've put on hold the entire day. The key difference is that instead of wanting to spend my time distracting myself from whatever I am procrastinating, I am free to move on to the next responsibility, effectively accomplishing more in a day.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delay responsibilities and not realize how I'm amplifying my inefficiency by expelling effort within the delay/procrastination suppression.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify sleeping in within the domain of my mind while under the influence of morning tiredness energy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight within myself as the various voices/backchat that are back and forth "do I get up/do I just sleep" not realizing that participating in this inner dialogue IS within the design of the resistance energy that pulls me back to my pillow.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I am choosing to place my head back down on the pillow through accepting and allowing that resistance energy to direct me.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize and stand as one and equal with the energies of my mind, taking full responsibility for my actions, instead of blaming my actions on a mind in separation of who I really am.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my mind for my behavior.
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When and as I see myself delaying a responsibility, I stop I breathe. I realize that if I initiate damage control by trying to hide from my decision to postpone a task, I am being dishonest with myself and creating consequences that I don't want. I commit myself to assist and support myself when operating within a delay, to either face the resistance and do the 'dreaded' task, or engage in other prioritized tasks within an agreement with myself to accomplish the delayed task at a specific time frame.
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When and as I see myself debating and justifying why I should go back to sleep in the morning, I stop I breathe. I realize that in this state of mind, I am unfit to make a stable decision. I commit myself to sit up and breathe until the resistance energy is not the sole director of my decision. As I consider all that I could be doing with my day and as the resistance is no longer overwhelming, I will allow myself to go back to sleep if that seems needed. For now I am on a probationary period of one month. If this point becomes an issue again, I'll make adjustments.
When and as I see myself blaming my mind for my behavior, I stop I breathe. I realize that I am the mind, that there is no separation, that no one but me alone is responsible for my behavior. I commit myself to assisting and supporting myself to identify each relationship point of blame/separation between myself and my mind, so that I can and will walk the correction. The solution as standing one and equal with one's own mind, accepting the responsibility of one's own reactions, even though it seems out of our control, it isn't. I commit myself to accepting the responsibility for myself and in so doing, showing others that they can too: Operation Disband Victim Culture.
This isn't over yet. In fact, it's good practice to not think that any of my transcendence points are over because if I do, then I'm probably wrong. The desire to be done is a more potent thought generator than the absolute silence of true transcendence. I commit myself to persist in demystifying the resistance of self-change so that I & WE, equal as one, may walk this self-corrective process more effectively. Thanks.
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