Day 294 - Becoming Efficient

There's an interesting dynamic going on within me. I have a perception that I and loaded with work to do, and then I perceive that for a moment it doesn't matter.


The design of delay is what is going on here. I've been writing about this for a while now, so I'm going to make this short and sweet. The key factors to consider are 1) how I feel in a moment of resistance; 2) how I let that feeling guide me; 3) Perspective/Context dynamics

1) I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel powerless to the uncomfortable feeling of resistance when faced with work/application. I realize myself as the creator of this resistance energy-feeling. I commit myself to breathe until stable, instead of reacting to the feeling and thus validating/empowering its purpose/existence.

2) I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to submit to the energy of resistance by reacting to it. I forgive myself for not realizing who I am within submitting to the resistance. When and as I see myself within a reaction to resistance, I breathe, I stop. "Is this who I am right now?" I ask myself. I commit myself to asking this question.

3) I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the discontinuity in my perspective when I am driven to accomplish vs accepting and allowing delay. I forgive myself for allowing myself to subscribe/buy into the delay perspective - that it doesn't matter and I can do work later, not understanding the gravity of consequence within this perspective.

I see and realize my obligation to direct myself in every moment. Even if I am going to relax and take a break, I must direct that without suppressing that feeling of pending responsibilities. When I allow my mind as feelings and emotions and justifications to guide me away from self-direction, I am making a statement that I am weaker than my own mind. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself as weaker than my mind, not realizing my oneness and equality with it and the mild to intense energetic experiences it/I produce.

Plan the hour in context of the day. Plan the day in context of the week/month. Realize the continuity. If not now, when? Do work.