Day 285 - Responsibility to Myself as Existence as a Whole

To elaborate on yesterday's post: Day 284 - Party vs Blog I want to share my perspective on how being responsible for myself relates to taking responsibility for the entire world.

I was reading through one of the student newspapers here and came across an article about how our rotating, 20,000 student community is undergoing city changes. It lead me to think about how as a student, I hardly took any responsibility for any community structural planning. I justified it as something "left to the higher ups, the government. And besides I wasn't here long enough to care about our future.” Interesting when I compare this attitude to how I might see the purpose of my life in the context of this entire existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am only responsible for my own experience within a complete disregard for all others, past, present, future.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I will only ever be able to be responsible for myself and maybe a family in the future, not seeing how this is a contradiction with my childhood dream to make it into the history books.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be famous by solving the problems in the world with a simple brilliant idea, not realizing the amount of work, through responsibility, that would I would require to do.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the true power of self is within becoming responsible for my life first and expanding that responsibility through a corporate climb. That's how this world is currently set up. I realize that I need to prove my work ethic within the world system to open doors of more responsibility.

Side thought: It's too bad that being responsible for others doesn't inherently require to act in the interest of what is BEST for all within that range of responsibility. On the flip side: Acting in the interest of what is best for all inherently requires self-realizing responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize how my becoming responsible for the entity of myself is a fundamental prerequisite of becoming responsible for others, and within this to understand that by giving to myself the gift of self-trust & self-responsibility, I am preparing the way before me to be most effective and able to support the all life on earth.

When and as I see myself delaying or abdicating my responsibility to myself in a moment, I stop I breathe. I realize that by doing this, I am having a detrimental effect on not only my life, but all life as one and equal within the context of a best for all motivation. I commit myself to facilitate the necessary environmental  conditions for me to thrive and be able to become the best that I can be before I start to really expand my responsibility into my world around me.

When and as I see myself desiring to save the world, I stop I breathe. I realize that prematurely trying to assist and support the world before I have assisted and supported myself is an act of ego, and within this, I am avoiding responsibility to lead through example. I commit myself to move myself within a motivation that yields what is best for me AND ultimately everyone.

When and as I see myself believing that I can't take responsibility in this moment, I stop I breathe. I realize that through common sense I can see if I can, in fact, take on that piece of responsibility. I commit myself to asking myself why I resist taking responsibility for any particular subject, to through this, actually take responsibility for myself in relation to any particular point of responsibility.

That's power. Not letting myself get away with abdicating responsibility and not looking back. The NOW of consciousness can be a dangerous trap with the suppression mechanism our ego loves to utilize. I commit myself to taking as long as I need to see, realize and understand who I am in relation to a point of responsibility. In doing so, I am taking responsibility in a way that will allow me to accumulate self-trust and expand my responsibility as an equal and one participant, living and apply what is best for all.