Day 307 - Falling Back to Sleep

Today marked the second day of experimenting with my morning boot up process. The investigative intention that I held today was slightly less charged than it was yesterday (interesting to note).  Still, I was mindful and taking careful notice of what went on in my head. I half rolled over to quickly check my emails on my phone, but there was a pretty persuasive energy drawing my head back to my pillow. I allowed it, BUT under the condition that I would be paying even closer attention to how I move within its effect. I even cracked a smile as I submitted to the energy with intention, trying to justify the act as further investigation, though while also aware that by laying back down = exactly what the energy's purpose is.

yawning yawn
Realizing this kept me alert enough to not actually fall back to sleep. In under 5 minutes, I willed myself upright and I tried to clear that strong feeling of go back to bed / lay down with breathing. It wasn't as magical as I had hoped. I struggled a bit, but I was up and moving before I was completely cleared of the head fog.

I titled this post Falling Back to Sleep because my day was overall less productive than the day before. It reminded of one of those past days of sleeping in and waking up with no intention/direction. My first thought as I sat down to write today was, "why?" and I associated it to how I woke up and gave into the energy while trying to circumvent the consequence through an "upgraded" justification. I believed that waking up in that groove of mindfulness with submission, flowed out into the rest of my day. But, during this writing, I also realized that my physical to-do list was not filled out for the day. In contrast, yesterday I had filled up my to-do list with more than I was able to complete the night before.

That 'slightly less charged' intention energy that I had noted at the top, that must be related to my empty day. I didn't give myself any direction the night before. To test this, I will try planning my day the night before and compare it to how effective I am by applying an intention the night before to plan my day when I wake up. I already know that when I don't know my day plan for tomorrow, I can easily continue to "not know," and my whole day lags, similar to how today went. This will be a test of self-honesty within intention, planning, and follow through. Creating a heightened sense of continuity between days has been a goal of mine. Glad to be working the angles on this point.

So, I'm pretty sure that I've narrowed down a critical relationship that needs to be purified. Join me tomorrow for a brief wake-up report, and I'll dive into how I've related to the word 'intention'. Note: I have written down morning plans, starting with 7:30 yoga.


Points to investigate
  • Setting intention
    • what is the starting point / the why
  • Following through on intention
    • resistance > intention?
    • intention < self-agreement?
  • Who am I without intention
    • directive / responsible vs. aimless / carefree / ?