Day 289 - Anxious to Change the World

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to have a positive affect on the world without first giving myself the time to learn and live the principle of what is best for all. I realize that I must first become effective and responsible within the world system. I commit myself to continual realization that I need to stand stable before I run to assist others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to put others before myself, structurally in my mind, thus creating consequences of ineffective communication (i.e. hypocritical) AND promoting my own ego enslavement through a socially constructed (externalized) self-definition. I realize the tendency to help others without helping self first is essentially a desire to be validated and thus a design of ego fulfillment. I commit myself to recognizing when I am trying to make a point that I haven't yet walked myself in my own experience, stop, breathe, and self-realize along WITH my communication partner.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be up tight and anxious when I see how someone can benefit from the desteni tools, and then follow this emotion into a poorly construed attempt to teach another. I realize that I have been riding a feeling experience that I do not understand. I commit myself to stop and breathe whenever I see myself in this train of uncertain/ego motivation, even if it might look funny to change my starting point mid-interaction.

When and as I see myself desiring to move fast as a whole through the journey to process as a valid means of justifying the prioritization of my efforts to make others understand the desteni message, I stop I breathe. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to undermine my own self-worth and responsibility to walk my own process first. I realize that my anxiousness is not nearly as effective as if I slowed down and really helped myself first. I commit myself to do that.