What I found yesterday, the day that I arrived back home, I had a residual lethargy. Call it "jet lag," whatever. I see jet jag as just another excuse or an opportunity to blame something external for my internal state. What a convenient way to not be responsible for who I am. Today, I partially continued with the same pattern. At what point does does the "jet lag" excuse lose it's legitimacy? It's subjective and varied. Perfect. Now, I can get away with not having to direct myself responsibly.
Within this pattern, I see that I am able to drag out the experience of jet lag. Perhaps at one point, I really needed to nap and rejuvenate. But just like with the mornings where I am able to sleep in and excuse my alarm vs. the mornings with an important obligation, I function fine when I need to and also allow myself to not function when the external need isn't so present. This is a key interaction that I need to examine within me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify my internal state by blaming my external environment and not realize that I am locking myself into a pattern through abdicating the self-responsibility I have in every moment.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to waste time and dismiss my responsibilities to myself through self-dishonesty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to thoroughly investigate my dismissal of self-responsibility.
I commit myself to more effectively supporting myself by really opening up the moments of weakness where my emotions get the best of me, to give self context and a stable footing to commence the process of self-change with corrective application.
I commit myself to show up for myself everyday.
I commit myself to recognizing the patterns of excuses that I use to justify my abdication of self-responsibility.
I commit myself to walking the process of stopping those patterns.