Day 311 - My Favorite Band

I've been waiting for this day. It caught me off guard and I'm having trouble with my writing flow. How do I convey the passion I've been feeling while listening to this music? How can I pay tribute to the band in a way that...I've got it. I'll just litter my post with links to some of my favorite songs and describe how 311 has played a significant role in my life.

Even though I only started really listening to 311 in my second year of college, it feels like I've been listening to them for eons. I was obsessed, and any true 311 fan would understand exactly why. I can't do it justice, but to give you an idea why: They mix the perfect groove with truth resonant lyrics. I really enjoy the melodies, guitar riffs and super sweet base lines, but it wasn't until I started listening to the lyrics that I started to reconsider everything. I became obsessed looking for verbal insight in the midst of awesome music.

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I didn't begin to crack the code when my friend showed me this song in high school, but the second time 311 popped into my life was right in the middle of my "spiritual awakening." It was music to my ears in every sense of the expression. I could try to go on and elaborate about how great the music felt in combination with the insightful lyrics, but I'll just leave you with this example: Sun Come Through.

When I came across the Desteni message of oneness and equality about a year after my 311 obsession kicked in, I kind of felt like a dear in headlights. Among other spiritual quests prior, 311 prepped me for what I was about to hear, yet at the same time, there were contradictions. My curiosity, open-mindedness, and definitive quest for truth kept me going in this pivotal moment along my spiritual path. Desteni was claiming all the enlightenment and ascension stuff that I was beginning to get deeper in (see post 217) was futile. I was lucky I didn't react and reject it. I held the contradictions in limbo while I continued exploring: How could equality be a living embodiment? The oneness part was easy. Even 311 is down for the unity!

That the gist of it. I continued with my curious investigation, my spiritual awakening turned into my Journey to Life, and it turns out I was strong all along! :)

Now I'm here to share how I got here with each post I publish. It's for you to walk with me. We're actually all in this journey to life together, equal and one. Wherever you are on your path, we are all "nothing but a walking sack of Earth," and thus individually responsible for our collective direction.

Will you be part of the peaceful revolution, or just another beautiful disaster?

Thanks for everything 311!







P.S. Thought I should mention Inner Light Spectrum <   my favorite song, barely.

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Support the Equal Life Foundation and check out the Equal Money platform. Tons of insight can also be garnered in the Desteni forum.

Enjoy Life & Be The Solution.

Day 276 - Embracing the In-Breath

I became aware of a cool point today while practicing my breathing application. I was laying down during the final resting pose in yoga (savasana), and this is a moment that I used to let my mind wander. My physical had just undergone a strenuous workout, and I always considered savasana to be prime time for daydreaming. The thoughts would run so naturally and my body would melt into the floor as I drift away in consciousness. It's interesting to consider that I typically fall asleep this way as well..

Over the past few months of practicing yoga, I began utilizing my savasana as a time to practice staying in my body, with my breath. I do this by applying the 4-count breath technique. Lindsay Craver did a blog post that gives a good idea of what this tool is and how it is used here.

I've tried this technique many times to support myself to remain present and grounded, here, within my physical body. Today I finally noticed a pattern of having the most trouble with holding the in-breath.

I contemplated on what this could mean. The first thing to mind was my presence. By anxiously rushing through the in-breath hold, I was severely compromising my presence. I associated this phenomena/habit of cutting my in-breath short with self-doubt and impatience. I experimented: When I held my in-breath, I was really, really present for it. I could visualize myself moving more effectively from this starting point.

Now, I am noticing myself fall into another consciousness trap. From that in-breath, I decided to direct myself into a visualization/imagination of potential out flow. That in itself isn't the trap. The trap is buying into or becoming vested in the feeling of being in control, unencumbered as a result of my imagined successfullness. I walked that point in the beginning of my 10 day series on success.

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Recap:

• I realized I've been short changing myself by not being present with my in-breath.
• I realized the power of staying present within my in-breath is presence itself,
• and the ability to direct self.
• I directed myself into an experiment of testing the difference in my relationship to my in-breath when cut short vs when I am patient and give myself the full 4 counts.

Why might I be rushing through the in-breath:

• Self-Trust
• I do not trust that my breath will carry me.
• weird fear, maybe related to my underwater fears post.
• Self-Doubt
• Related to not trusting myself
• fear of being present
• fear of being self-responsible.
• trusting the mind consciousness system
• feels safe, known, & comfortable

Consequences:

By not embracing my in-breath, I am not present. It's the difference between automatic living mode and self-directed living. It's very easy to forget about the breathing...must set lots of flag points!

Solution:

Utilize flag points to prevent full system possession states of being. Acquire awareness and build flag points through writing. Awareness of every breath is not a goal I hope to achieve tonight...or ever (within the context of hope). I will stay consistent within my process of self-realization within self-honesty to realize my breathing in every moment. To hold an expectation, goal, or hope is to externalize the responsibility to live as this mental/behavioral change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to undervalue my breathing application.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to value my breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself not to just breathe and be the breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that it is hard to be aware of my breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget that I am my breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that becoming aware of every breath is a process that will be walked over the course of many years, that my mind is the starting point of wanting it done as soon as yesterday.

I commit myself to repeatedly bring myself back into my breath, not to fight the mind, but to work with it in discovering why and where I am still afraid to fully be with every in-breath.

I commit myself to becoming evermore acquainted with my breath, until it's of my nature to be within and as every breath.

I redesign myself here.

Give it a try @ DIP Lite

Day 196 - Sending Love and Light

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate within energy to try to send messages to somebody in some sort of mystical way.

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I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to utilize energy with an attempt to get others to like me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put effort into raising my energy within a spiritual context to be great and desirable.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to realize my starting point of this desire which is basically fear of rejection, insecurity, and being less in general.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire another person, and within that I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to attempt to manipulate them via sending love and light toward them in a secret hope that they will then like me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that by meditating, chanting or working with energy in any way can be beneficial for others that are not in directly in my physical environment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can expand my aura and become of a higher and higher energy so that I will be more influential and ultimately more happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am benevolent within my use of energy because I only want positivity, and not realize that I was only considering what is positive for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to enter into thoughts of desire and within them attempt to manipulate others to like me by fulfilling their desire to be liked too.
- Interesting. Within this I realize that I have been attracting..and have been attracted to..those with the same design/frame of mind in wanting/desiring another within the same starting point of insecurity of self.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to give me the opportunity to stabilize within myself, as who I am, through rushing from fear into desire, and then acting within that energy even in the subtlest ways, such as sending mentally created "love and light" to the girl next to me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see this instruction "send love an light to the person next to you," as an excuse to try and fulfill my selfish desire to be with another.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have backchat about winning the affection of others and not investigating the source of this internal conversation.
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When and as I see myself practicing yoga and slipping into desire thoughts for the beautiful women in the room, I stop I breathe. I realize that I am portraying that I am "showing up for me" to the point that even I start believing myself as a suppression of my desire for sex, ultimately. I commit myself to examining where and when I am not here for me when I go to practice yoga.

When and as I see myself utilizing energetic opportunities to attempt to court the mind of a female, I stop I breathe. I realize that energetic fishing will lead to an energetic relationship. I commit myself to flirting in the physical only.

When and as I see myself sending love and light to others for any reason, I stop I breathe. I realize that I have been foolishly just going with what the instructor says even though I dislike/disapprove/judge the spiritual side of yoga. I commit myself to further investigating my relationship within all dimensions of yoga.

When and as I see myself utilizing energy for a beneficial / positive means, I stop I breathe. I realize how polarity works enough to know that + must balance with - in the realm of energy. I commit myself to stop supporting the energy dominion over life.

When and as I see myself justifying the use of energy with selfish backchat, I stop I breathe. I realize that I am in a bind with fear here, and that I must face every source point related to the internal dialogue. I commit myself to push through fear, stand within it, walk into it, feel it, accept it, so that I may forgive myself for what I have allowed myself to exist as with it.

I'm not done with you yet yoga..

Day 150 - Responsibility of the Future

As 2012 December 21st comes to pass, I am in the middle of determining my future. So, this post is not going to emphasize today's date as more significant than I make it. I realize that I am the creator of my conscious orientation to events like today, or really any over-spiritualized point. In fact, no special happening of 2012 will produce real change for us. I accept the responsibility for my future. Who I am then, is born today. And it's this realization that's going to carry me into the future.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to delay the creation of my future within fear of loss.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept and allow my mind to direct my use of time.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize I am one with my future, here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to break continuity of time by participating within my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe my self to be great or special.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear failing my destiny.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take responsibility for myself as the creator of me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to passively live life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be untrue to myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hide from reality through pleasure seeking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize myself as a proactive solution.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize myself within each moment of breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not direct myself within each moment of breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realize and understand what I accept and allow.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be still/inert as I sit back and allow energy to direct me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire the "easy life."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to abuse money to stay high and separate from reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see how much responsibility I can take on.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having too much responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear having power.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to associate fear with power and responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own fears.

When and as I see myself wasting time, I stop I breathe. I realize I am in an energy flow.

I commit myself to re-aligning my actions with common sense and what's best for all.

When and as I see myself getting overwhelmed by my future, I stop I breathe.

I realize that this is not an effective, practical decision to direct myself within what's best for all.

I commit myself to participating in energy with awareness and agreement only.

When and as I realize that I am in an energy flow without my agreement, I stop I breathe.

I realize that here is a pattern/habit that I've programmed within me directly or by reaction-allowance.

I commit myself to deconstruct these patterns through writing and self-forgiveness so that I my birth a new rule of self within corrective living statements.

When and as I see myself afraid of the future, I stop  I breathe. I realize that I create this fear.

I commit myself to pushing through resistance and facing each source point of fear within me.

When and as I see myself missing the point of oneness and equality through abdicating my responsibility to producing real change for myself and others as me, I stop and take a breath. I realize I am you.

I commit myself to walking with you as an equal in supporting ALL toward the best possible outcome.

Thank you all.

Let's get together and produce real best for all outcomes. The world didn't end, so why not begin to make it an awesome place to be born for all life here?

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Everyone's doing it!

Until peace for all, it's time to do work.