Day 242 - Worldly Responsibility

This post is a semi-capstone to my mini writing series on responsibility:
- Day 241 - The Path of Least Resistance

- Day 240 - Timing and Responsibility in my Hands

- Day 239 - Becoming Responsible

I say "semi" because I've realized the multidimensional layering of my current, encrypted personality designs takes patience and persistence to decipher. I have always had a hasty walk. To get from point A to B, I would much rather bike or skateboard, and so within this writing process, where I am walking through my mind and realigning myself with and as life, I have had the tendency to try to race to the finish. So far, I've been trying to move through points so fast that I haven't been giving myself the time to apply and live the correction that I lay out in my commitments.

So, taking responsibility is really a two part process within ONE decision. The decision to actually walk the correction, and then to actually WRITE and APPLY.

It's a little awkward at first, I'll admit. Moving from passive consumption to participatory engagement is strange because I've spent so much time passive and reacting, that self movement and leadership just doesn't seem natural. There is a lot of internal resistance that leads to excuses for not changing self in a way that is self-honestly responsible for how self decides to exist. Why is this important?

The obvious: self-empowering to become a responsible and effective leader of oneself.

The ultimate: not everyone is able to make this choice to become responsible for their living. Us privileged people that have the time and resources to read this blog are unimaginably lucky relative to the far less fortunate citizens of this earth. I recommend this free interview if you want a polar opposite perspective to put your life into perspective.

So, for me to sit pretty, troubled by mundane affairs and getting the nice car for social status, requires a layer of ignorance or complex suppression. How could anyone sit pretty while there are lives on earth in absolute discord and strife? The only reason I can come up with is brainwashed or rather brain-conditioned to feel powerless, inadequate in the context of changing the world. Deep down everyone want this world to be free and fair.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I cannot make this world perfect.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid that I will fail in this world, that the world is too big for me to make a difference, that I am powerless in the context of the bigger picture.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be complacent and seek momentary pleasures because I can.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can simply maintain a happy life for myself through leveraging my fortunate circumstances and ability to provide for myself and maybe for only a hand for of others that I determine are also more valuable than others.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself, my life as more valuable because of my ability to be successful.

What's going on here? I am forgiving myself for the what ever layers come up in relationship my position in the world. Why? Because I have found this perspective of self-interest to be limiting the amount of responsibility I have allowed myself to take on. What's wrong with that? Self-sabotage to the detriment of all life on earth.

Understand that each has the potential to contribute to creating a world that is best for all. What's more is that if we do not take on this worldly responsibility, who will?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust the powers that be to take care of me, completely abdicating my responsibility for my world and reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to realize my role within existence as a whole.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist contemplating and understanding the implications of universal oneness and equality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist taking responsibility for my individual participation as a one and equal life-form, manifest.
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When and as I see myself fearing to take responsibility for myself in the context of this entire existence, I stop I breathe. I realize that if the large majority share and allow this fear, we are enslaved to this hellish existence we call Earth. I commit myself to showing others that that I can stand up as a responsible citizen of earth, supporting what's best for all.

When and as I see myself facing resistance toward self-honest, self/world-responsibility, I stop I breathe. I realize that I create this experience of resistance according to my residual pre-programming. I commit myself to walking through resistance within my breath, to be who I am as responsible for my world.

When and ass I see layers of self-doubt in the context of responsibility and overcoming resistance energy, I stop I breathe. I realize that I have to walk through a multidimensional encryption. I commit myself to not giving up, within a full understanding of my ability to stand, utilizing the tools of self-forgiveness and breath to decrypt and remove my conditioned internal experiences, to ultimately create myself as a responsible expression of life within oneness and equality.

One step at a time, I commit myself to stabilizing, here, within my breath, as a pillar of support for all to stand and take ownership of this world.

Day 240 - Timing and Responsibility in my Hands

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into place with energy in such a way that I only know how to move within energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel lonely when I do not have a positive energy guiding me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think that I know how to be successful only within and through energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to take responsibility for myself from a starting point of what is here physically.

At the moment I am experiencing a bit of tiredness, ran around a lot today, and with this tiredness, I am frantically searching for viable distractions, my mind races with ideas to not have to face what is here, which is the physical keystrokes and this computer screen. As I sit and choose not to participate in the distractions, I realize that I have to use like an inverse energy experience of imagining the dissatisfaction I would have with myself for indulging in the non-productive time sinks. For example, I could go down the stairs and eat some chocolate ice cream with peanut butter and watch a little of whatever my mother is watching on the television. I would typically just go for it through justifying it with backchat, "it won't that that long."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that each moment and activity related to delay add together and accumulate. I do not want to be accumulating the consequence of a immediate desire fulfillment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to place my responsibility into the hands of my future self, believing that I will be be able to just do everything later. This is not leadership. This is sneaky form of complacency. "Oh, I'm so able, I can just do it later." There is this underlying belief that I do not need to work as hard right now because I can catch up to the average work ethic. It's a perpetuation of my past ability to work under pressure and get things done at the last minute. This method seemed to free up a lot of time for the cost of being in slave-mode for only a brief sprint at the end.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to delude my potential production by subscribing to the belief that I only need to just get by and fit in with the majority. At the same time, I had held the belief that I was a top tier human being, I was just to afraid to fail, so I had never put myself out there within leadership roles. I had inverted. I focused on becoming an effective leader of myself. It seemed like a smart choice, but what happened was no real accountability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge others as less than me purely so I could feel like my imagined greatness of self was legitimate, not realizing that others were actually showing me myself. All this time I have been building this self-concept, and only occasionally acting to achieve my goals. There was always more time..

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to delay the responsibility I have toward myself in developing my talents and abilities through applying myself in reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rely on external motivation to produce.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the extent of self-compromise at play through participating within my ego and believing I am who I think I am.

It's a curious thing, this allowance of my internal make-believe world as a reference point and a starting point. As I progress in diffusing the charges of limited perspective inherent in these personality programs, I start to wonder how I ever could have been so foolish, but that's just another program of self-criticism. The reality is, the chain of events that lead me to where I was and am today. All things considered, there is no secret. Only responsibility to direct oneself to support what is best, best for all.

I will continue to decipher my resistance in being a responsible citizen of this earth so that I may become increasingly effective within stabilized self-motivation and share with you how I did it. Thanks.

wikimedia pic

The direction of the world is related to how much responsibility

the individual is willing to take.