Day 214 - Self-movement: Continued Expansion

Every little movement taken into consideration. It was quite obvious when this wasn't happening, like some half zoned-out state where much less detail is taken and and I am simultaneously experiencing an energy/thought. As I sit down to write this post, I am really worn/tired from the long day on the hill. I find it interesting that this energy  fluctuation is how I've validating the resistance. I actually experience this strong desire to not have to write and face myself at this moment. I am tired, but I really just don't want to take the time and effort (interestingly enough) to push out another post. "Daily!? Seriously? This is what I committed to??" :)

What is interesting about the time & effort dynamic relationship toward this self-writing? Precisely that. That it is a dynamic relationship and requires a certain level of energy to get through it...which now leads me to believe that my energy infused writing is not of comprehensive detail.. fascinating connection. I'll explain.

While I was snowboarding, I had become much more aware of my movement and even my breathing, having  given myself the context from yesterday's post.What I noticed was how the quick movement through the bumps of snow and how I had to adjust my weight and move to adapt, it was a lot of fun. So in a similar regard to how I find parkour to be fun, it wasn't something that I could done while zoned out, off in my head space somewhere. Except there were times when my mind took a larger dominion than my physical, space-time awareness.

This happened when there was a straightaway, and when going off a rather large jump. With the straightaway, I caught me in my mind when I put my hands up like I was flying. I questioned the movement and realized it as a display for others, noting the moment as a departure from the physical. I scan/see that minimal adaptive effort is required and then I could release from the physical awareness effort and just bomb that section of the hill. With the large jump: fear.

Fear stepped in as doubt, uncertainty, hesitation. It was a relatively unfamiliar experience of flight. The take off is this experience of increasing extra gravity, and then before I know it, I'm wrestling for balance in mid air. Thankfully, I only fell hard once, and my butt absorbed most of the shock.

So there are a lot of cool parallel insights here: When and why I leave physical awareness (i.e. I think I know it enough detail to be able to check out/automate my physical). How it is that I stay within energy (i.e. internal resistance struggle).

Ok, I'll continue tomorrow...after this one:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ride within energy fluctuation to get things done, not realizing that the flip-side is an experience of not having enough energy to get things done. When and as I see myself procrastinating within a starting point of internal resistance from not having enough energy to to something. I stop I breathe. I realize this is a consequence of my habitual participation within using positive energy experience to become motivated. I commit myself realizing what the resistance energy is composed of/from.

See you tomorrow.

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Day 213 - Self-movement: Perspective

Today, I kept thinking about this perspective for some reason. It's the perspective of the detailed effort involved in a physical movement or set of movements to get a task done. This is hard to describe inside of myself, so I'ma write it out!

This perspective that I am going to do my best to describe it seemingly common sense movement. Great example: Walking across the street. What does it take to do that? FIRST, it's a turning of the head in both directions to check for cars. Then, there is a step, followed by another step, etc, but even before that there is a neck movement to place one's head slightly off balance in the direction we want to walk.

One of my real life examples from today: I waxed my snowboard for the first time, so maybe that was another reason why my movement-perception wasn't so automated. From one perspective it takes a lot of work, almost an overwhelming amount of work (thus the $8 alternative of paying someone else to do it). This overwhelming perspective happens before any time is spent. When one is willing to dedicate the time, the series of steps naturally unfolds when the tools and the know-how are available. Heat the iron, drip the wax, spread the wax with the iron, scrape off the excess, clean up the excess, turn off the iron. Even this quick description I didn't immediately think about having to toss the excess wax in the trash. Heck, we could have swept the floor if we wanted to be thorough.

The point of sharing this perspective is to unfold the decision process and bring a little awareness to the physical. I notice that I make quite a few decisions based on the perception of all the effort required to complete a set of physical movements for a given task. This "effort" is a loaded term. Effort is relative. How I relate to work determines effort perception. The relationship indicates a separation, and I think with today, for some reason, I was more tuned into what is required to complete physical tasks in a simplistic perspective that was intriguing. Just doing what has to be done.

The inverse perspective (instead of this perspective), is that the movement is automated. Decision to cross the street does not normally consider ALL of the physical movements/effort because there is a relationship toward these movements. Tilting the head forward is easy. Placing one foot in front of the other by bending the knee in conjunction with a minimal effort abdominal contraction is easy. The only real consideration that happens is how many of steps it will take.If the road is 7 miles wide (i know, crazy) then we may choose not to cross the road depending on the reward vs effort of walking that far.

Yes, this is a broad perspective, but I was intrigued with insight. It's not a new perspective, but I've never written about it before. It's a perspective I am drawn to and the primary reason I like to study parkour, free running, and everything related to balance. I really like trying to understand and gain mastery over the physical movement through space time...I think I like it because there is so much room to learn, grow expand my body vocabulary. The newness of learning how to balance on a unicycle is some kind of physical intimacy.

free use flickr image

Again, the inverse perspective would be that I already know how to...make a sandwich, or say with yoga, when I already know a posture or a movement, it is automated. I make a decision, and my mind just put my body there automatically, and I have room to think about something else. Ah, here lies the crux of it all. Long distance running, another example, on a treadmill even. The know-how of each physical body movement is squared away in the mind, and it leaves the space for us to zone out and think other thoughts and daydream. With parkour, there is more of a continual challenge and adaptation to the environment that keeps me more present with the physical reality. The main flag point of mind participation within parkour is when ego and pride step in, especially when others are saying "ohhhh, so cool, great job!" And that's how people get hurt: trying to uphold a reputation of being good or great instead of practically considering the physical limitations.

Ok, join me for some self-forgiveness tomorrow. There's a lot to this perceptual shift, and I want to see how deep I can go in releasing my physical movement programs. Also, I will report on what I notice in relation to daydreaming (separation from the physical) that occurs while I'm boarding down the mountain.