Day 450 - Nostalgia Redefined, pt.2

"Ah, those were the good ol' days!"

Reminiscing about times past, with a small sense of yearning to be where and/or how I used to be. This is lazy nostalgia, participating just when it comes up in conversation between peers. It's self-detached, not seeing self as equal with self at all moments in time, and it diminishes the present self by comparison.

What would be a more proactive nostalgia?.. To live in way where I would look back on the memory fondly, continually creating a trail of interactions for which myself and others could feel nostalgic about, and within that, be inspired to connect more with that quality in/of life, here, today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just go with the feeling of nostalgia, create a relationship to it, where I file and organize that which I am nostalgic about because I don't want to have a messy emotional life, but I also don't want to let go, because I'm afraid that I won't be able to replicate that which I feel nostalgic about.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing a certain quality to life and living, such as a childlike expression of exploring the mundane which a fresh inquiry, and so create a relationship to a memory, mark it with a positive feeling, and carry on, not realizing, seeing or understanding the many insights that can be drawn from a singular memory.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to NOT question the emotion of Nostalgia more closely and clearly, so that I may better understand what it is brought on the experience of nostalgia, and the specifics of what it is that I fear loosing.

I commit myself to investigate myself when nostalgia feelings come up, so I may better understand how I've channeled myself into such a narrow framework of reality. See what it is I desire so much that I'm willing to chose ignorance over awareness.

I commit myself to honor the memories of which I've formed a nostalgic relationship to, by opening them up, celebrating the key/core words of that experience and finding way for which I can bring them back to life in my everyday living. Find the gift!

I commit myself to releasing all memories that I fear losing, for I realize that I can create the new me of today with just as much significance for nostalgia. Live here!

I commit myself to live like I'm worthy of living, and to honor myself at all points in time, past, present and future.

I commit to live nostalgically.

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