Day 335 - I'm so dumb

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I cannot do something because I have never done it before.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I can do anything without having walked a process of practical application.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold myself back from exploring my potential because I am afraid to find out the reality of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear the reality of myself and thus a loss of the projected ideal self-image.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I am not able to manifest the ideal self as a leader AND through trying I risk the realizing this fear through seeing my inability to lead myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not give myself the space and time to develop my potential.

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When and as I see that I have become defeated by failure to act, I stop I breathe. I realize that I am responsible to push through this fear and act, understanding that I will not be perfect, that there is a process of actual living application one must walk before such a level of self-trust / confidence is real. I commit myself to stepping up to the plate and taking the risk of non-perfection or failure to assert myself within the process of self-perfection. To take the first step is crucial. This reality is a lived reality or else it's not, meaning to live in the mind dimension in separation of reality. This is not where I want to be living. I want to be here, moment to moment participation: Living.

When and as I see myself standing by to assess and observe a situation of which I can participate in but have suppressed my expression and gone into backchat, I stop I breathe. I realize that I am capable of more than I realize, and the only way to find out is through pushing through this resistance, mess up and fail a few times, adjust and adapt, and continue walking the next point until I stand clear. I commit myself to pushing the practice of flawed application. This is process. This is this blog. To begin living this point in real time communication will be uncomfortable at first. Push. Mess up. Do not take this personally. Self is not who self thinks self to be. Don't fall into this trap over and over and over again. Learn. Humble. Move. Practical.