Day 354 - Being Clear and Direct

By dancing around the issue, I've been leaving grey areas and back doors for myself to get out of my responsibilities. When I know I need to do something and don't do it, there was something missing from the picture. What did I not take into consideration when framing my tasks of the day?

And I'm talking about being clear and direct with myself to become more effective with my self-direction, but this would apply for communicating direction to others as well. I have found several instances recently where I wasn't communicating clearing within my questions, and the result was receiving frustrated questions in return instead of answers. So if I don't communicate clearly, direct and to the point, I find it much more difficult to work with others to meet really any goal. It would then make sense that if I'm finding it difficult to meet my own goals, perhaps I'm not being absolutely clear with myself.

To clarify ;) this is not a mere knowing what I want to accomplish. To be direct and clear in relation to a desired outcome, I need to factor in all relevant points. I must consider my current weaknesses and strengths, so I can recognize and stop a self-sabotage pattern and amplify my strong suits with strategy. I must consider the facts and my relationship with each of them. I must consider my why, my purpose, my operating principle, my who I am defined by the choices and physical outflow that I create. What am I missing? Also a question I need to ask myself.

When the answers start pouring at me, I must then also give myself direction. So being clear and direct allows me to have clear direction, but that self-direction is only worth as much as the follow through in physical reality.

Preparation should also be mentioned here. Without it, it is far to easy to get overwhelmed and cycle in self-defeat. Until I can clearly and directly see all relevant points in self honesty, in the moment of a single breath, I must prepare myself to stand. As I'm developing self-trust, I must show myself that I can trust myself. The best way that I can think to prove my trustworthiness is to first conduct the necessary research to fully understand what I am asking myself to do when setting a goal, and then to actually do it.

The current friction is coming from setting goals that I'm not prepared to accomplish. I need to sit myself down and directly show myself what is required to do, why, and how. A physical plan of action, of practical and immediate points, that I can move in alignment with what is best for me and all. To leave a hole or a way out of the understanding my role and accountability within this is to be dishonest with myself.

Self-honesty is no walk in the park. It's more like running down a rocky mountain. Each step must be specifically placed, so that the body weight can be effectively transferred, to be able to position the next step specifically. This very physical movement requires a flow of efficient decision making, which in turn requires a moment of foresight. If you aren't planning the next step before landing the current step, you won't be able to decide how the physical body must balance and shift accordingly. This is parkour philosophy.

I commit myself to parkour through my work day.

More on this tomorrow.

photo credit 

Day 346 - Prioritizing Purpose

Continuing from Day 345 Aligning Purpose with Participation.

To sum it up in 3 words:  Best for All


In my own words, this means applying myself to do what is best in the context of everything, all points considered. This is seemingly a tough to ridiculous standard to hold oneself to. Now why is that? Ahhh, that is the question. To be or not to be, principled and living in equality?

I have experienced much difficulty in living the principle of what is Best for All consistently. Walking with Desteni for some time, I've reached a level of knowing that it's physical process to become a constant expression within what is best for all. A physical process takes time, but in the mind, I can think about myself rather quickly. This inflated view of oneself (ego) is just like anything else that becomes inflated: It pops. The illusionary bubble pops when the physical reveals what is reality.

So this idea that living a life in alignment with what is best for all is something difficult or impossible, is the result of investing in the idea of oneself in and as the mind. We as minds don't want to see oneness and equality for many reasons. Check for yourself. (Prompt: Why don't I want to see oneness and equality?)

When and as I see myself out of alignment with what is best for all, I stop I breathe. I realize that I am the director of myself, and that even the energies, feelings and emotions that I give in to is an acceptance and allowance of self as less than these energies. I commit myself to realizing the physical reward while letting go of the energy addiction that leads to procrastination.

This is where prioritization comes in. I had previously mentioned the importance of mapping out purpose in the physical, but what's more is that the priority system that must be used to discern what would bring the most benefit all to all must be based on the physical. When looking at priorities, there are many dimensions that once can take into consideration, and this is why 'Best for All' is so nice to work with. We check the alignment of purpose in a comprehensive and physical context, rather than the all too common, blind following of our own mind-energy movements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my directive power to my mind by doing what I feel I want to do, instead of considering reality first, as my starting point for self-movement. When and as I see that I am feeling powerless to the desire to procrastinate, I stop I breathe. I realize that I am a physical being, living by the laws of energies that I have programmed throughout my life, and I commit myself to breathing and dissipating that energy, and walking the physcial process of bringing my self-directive will into full application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I must slow down and break down the physical process of moving myself in a context that MATTERs. When and as I see myself becoming overwhelmed and unable to continue working toward my physically based, higher purpose, I stop I breathe. I realize here that I can redefine my problem, my context, and whatever I am facing in a moment by stopping the energy participation and having a real look myself in a physical reality context. Within this, I commit myself to mapping out my priorities to make sure that I am effective (first thing's first) and not compromising myself by just feeling my energy experience, and not having a comprehensive consideration of all relevant points.

Within all of this. I realize I am taking on a good chunk of my personality makeup. I commit myself to walk slowly and thoroughly through all of this, to not get ahead of myself and go into an energy reaction of disappointment/discouragement/self-defeat (another system that does not serve what's best for me or all. Mark for deletion.)

I commit myself to seeing my physical purpose, and prioritizing accordingly. The point of resisting the actual doing/work of each prioritized point is another system, of which I now commit myself to clearing, purifying. My mind no longer is allowed to direct me when I'm working on my physical reality purpose points. See ya!

Thanks.

DesteniArtists

Day 309 - Time Management

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be passive when it comes to time management.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be paranoid about not having enough time to accomplish everything I want to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish that I had more time.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize the oneness and equality of myself as the only solution to effective time management

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for wasting my time, and in this creating a negative charge on being social.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate responsibilities through social justifications so that I can confirm my belief that others are the reason why I have difficulty with time management.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from this moment here, not realizing the capacity of my creative potential in every here-moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disrespect myself and cheat myself out of opportunity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to repeatedly allow vague justifications that are coupled with a temporary alleviation of the resistance energy-feeling experienced when facing a responsibility/work task.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, in a moment here, forget the net sum of all that I want to do.

In one week, I'll report use changes.

I commit myself to writing out all my goals. I will do this in two forms, one of which had been missing, the other, inconsistent. The missing one is a list of general to-do that is not time/day specific. The inconsistent one is my day-specific task lists. This one is typically too idealized (not practical) or it is empty. On rare occasions it is completed, and it feels good.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel good / bad according to my efficacy levels with regards to completing my daily task list, not realizing how I am removing myself from simplicity of utilizing this tool to practically and effectively manage my time.

I commit myself to continue utilizing this daily task list in a way that effectively assists and supports me to accomplish tasks.

When and as I see myself not using or not completing my daily tasks, I stop I breathe. I realize that I am able to slow down and consider why I am not using this tool effectively. I commit myself to support myself through the effective use of written time management tools.

The stream of to-do that isn't adhered to a specific time will be experimental. The idea is to write down everything to provide a sense of what I could, should, and need to be doing, and as I examine the list, I can place tasks and sub-tasks into my daily planner.

Another point I'd just come to realize the significance of is task to time frame planning. In the past I've only scheduled in written times when I had appointments. I haven't ever blocked of a specific hour for specific self-directed tasks, other than this blog - which typically defaults to the last hour of the day because of reasons/motivations I haven't fully come to terms with.

When and as I see myself wandering aimlessly through time, either via personal delay or social justification, I stop I breathe. I realize that I have the ability to direct myself effectively in the context of all. I commit myself to assisting and supporting myself to see, realize and understand the bigger picture so that I am able to give context to my efforts, and lack thereof. This is to be accomplished in part by writing my objectives. This will expand, evolve and be refined as I practice. Effective time management is a critical key of success.

Support what is best for self and all.

Write, practice, perfect.

Day 274 - Success and Failure pt.10

Continuing with:
Day 264 - Success vs Projected Success
Day 265 - Success and Failure pt.1 - Imagination Dimension of Success
Day 266 - Success and Failure pt.2 - Opening Resistance to Success
Day 267 - Success and Failure pt.3 - Spiraling Distraction
Day 268 - Success and Failure pt.4 - Components of Resistance
Day 269 - Success and Failure pt.5 - The Critical Moment
Day 270 - Success and Failure pt.6 - The Direction Question
Day 271 - Success and Failure pt.7 - Externalized Directive
Day 272 - Success and Failure pt.8 - The Problem with Mind-Self Separation
Day 273 - Success and Failure pt.9 - The Failure Character

...Effective Planning

That's my secret to success that you've all been waiting for since yesterday. This is a topic I've written on before, so it's not a hefty realization. The real substance of this concept comes in with discipline. I was debating on changing the title of this post to be 'discipline' while I was listening to the What If? Life Review because it was mentioned in that interview as one of the critical points of success. I recommend this interview especially to those that have that feeling of waiting for the perfect chance to blossom into success. I spent a lot of my life so far developing this idea in my head that I would achieve great things, and yet I hardly ever took proactive steps to achieve my visions of grandeur that I had for myself. This interview was like a relieving slap to the face.

I stayed with the effective planning title because it requires discipline within it. Ineffective planning obviously does not lead to success. So the big mystery is: What does it take to be effective?

Today, I was effective. I had taken just a few moments last night to write down what I wanted to do with my day, and this time I only put 3-5 items. Some of them were time heavy. Others items didn't make it on the list last night, but were pressing...such as listening to some EQAFE interviews. Another task was from the day before. This flexability contributed to me having a productive day. And I was still able to get in some unicycling, yoga, and under an hour of video games. What was different about today?

In days past, I would have no plan of practical accomplishment to adhere to. I used to smoke weed and enjoy the moment, listen to music and waste time with enjoyment and fleeting, positive feeling activities that had consequences. I would just delay/deny the consequence as long as I could. The moment I had to pay for it was so compressed that I could just rush through my responsibilities at the 'last minute' effectively condensing the experience of consequence...which in itself created more, longer-term consequences. When I stopped smoking the ganja just over 4 months ago, I didn't realize that I still had to deal with the various habits of procrastination and desire indulgence. It's like I had peeled back just one layer, and since then I've been able to continue in my process of self-change and becoming increasingly self-responsible. It's really cool!

I'm finding that by setting achievable goals daily, the only other thing I have to do is do them! The resistance that I experience in relation to actually doing the work fades the more I push myself into the new habit of self-will. It's really quite something to look at from the old perspective of that resistance energy that was seemingly too much to deal with, that laziness drug of the mind; it's made my will-power look like a wimpy little muscle. The more that I've flexed that muscle, the more my perspective has changed. In retrospect, pushing myself to get through the resistance of self-change is the most rewarding gift I have ever given to myself. Once I know what I can accomplish, once I start lifting heavy weights, I have no reason to regress.

Occasionally, I might regress as I am building my consistency. I plan to not be perfect from the get go anymore. This it the new failure attitude that I wrote about yesterday. I can only truly fail if I fall and don't get back up. It makes sense that focusing my efforts on getting up faster would speed up my process in becoming consistently effective. So, I plan to have a bunch of micro-fails. I plan to stick with myself, with my breath, to pick myself up as many times as it takes until I stop falling down. Once I've stabilized with one point, I'll move on to the next point that isn't stable. Next point I've already decided to work on...is another big one. One of those points that seems impossible to control now, but now, I know what I am capable of doing. Now, I understand that as sucky as it may seem to walk through the resistance of self-change, it really pays off. That next point: The sweet tooth character.

Thank you to all the supportive people in the desteni group, on the forum, those involved in my Desteni I Process, and all those close to me that reflect who I have become. And most of all, thank me for taking on the challenge of self-change through self-honesty and self-forgiveness. And thank YOU for reading. Stay tuned for more living insight to come.

Until then, support yourself by clicking on any of the links in this post.

Except this little one at the bottom. That one doesn't count as self-support assistance  :)

picture credit

Day 228 - Becoming Consistent with Focus

This is a continuation of Day 227 - Sticking to one mission at a time

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD).

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am more productive when I multitask, and so feel compelled to do more than one thing at once.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be MORE THAN productive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that multitasking actually slows my productivity as I am not fully directing my side-tracking, rather bouncing from one thing to the next as if I am on auto-pilot.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek for and follow distractions when faced with a challenge or resistance within applying myself in the context of "work."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to simply let slide my reactions of resistance toward work, not realizing that each and every single movement is my responsibility as a statement of who I am / what I allow.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to bite my nails, eat candy, play video games, do laundry, do other work, when I am experiencing resistance toward a task, such as this JTL post.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize my decision to delay a task.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take responsibility for the timely completion of a task through the thought "there is plenty enough time," not realizing how I am compromising my ability to do the primary task AND other work more effectively.
 --
When and as I see myself abdicating my responsibility to direct myself through playing the Victim Character of some externalized force such as ADD, I stop I breathe. I realize that I am responsible for all of my directions, preprogrammed or otherwise. I commit myself to the continual realization that I am responsible for every movement I make.
..I have a long way to go, but accumulation is the only way. One bite at a time. 1+1+1+1...

When and as I see myself multitasking, I stop I breathe. I realize that I have chosen to multitask because of a desire to be ultra-effective with my time. I commit myself to breathing and questioning if I am diminishing my effectiveness within a particular task.

When and as I see myself on productivity auto-pilot, I stop I breathe. I realize that I wasn't consciously directing myself and completely unaware of my breath. I commit myself to create a plan to get back to my original task if the current task is worth the current attention. No more task, to item, to interest, to video, to curiosity, to other side-track. This behavior leads me down a path that I did not intend. I commit myself to move with intention.

When and as I see myself moved by distractions such as nail biting, candy, fun, interest, I stop I breathe. I recognize the resistance. I commit myself to breathing until the resistance fades and to continue with the primary task. I commit myself to pushing through that resistance, and if necessary, to investigate how I have created a relationship toward a given task that yields that resistance.

When and as I see myself abusing time by putting off responsibility, I stop I breathe. I realize that what's actually going on inside of me is a reluctance to face a responsibility, and I have entered into an energy of resistance and allowed it to direct me within tiredness or some form of laziness. I commit myself to sit and breathe and get back on track, finish my objective, and plan for rest.

The key in all of this is to have a plan. A day plan. An hour plan. A project plan. A plan for multiple projects. There's no limit to how I organize/structure my time. The important element is that I do organize and structure my time, effort, and even sleep.

I commit myself to planning when and as I see myself moving from task to task, unplanned.

photo from flickr cc

Day 207 - Planning vs Energetic Motivation

My day was messed up today when I woke up later than planned. The order of events was screwed up and I allowed this to snowball for most of the day. Lots of patterns came up. Cool that I'm seeing them more clearly as I write about them, but I haven't been thorough enough to be effective. What is it to be effective within this Journey to Life? It is releasing the predictive programming with self-forgiveness AND writing a new law of self with a real commitment statement. Why have I not been effective with some of the patterns, like procrastination? I haven't finished. I haven't yet found each component to be able to specifically address them.

I can't beat myself up for not being effective. Obviously there is still work to do, so the real question is, do I react with my typical discouragement pattern when faced with "failure," or do I stop the reaction and direct the common sense response? Go into mind or be self-honest? Fall into the predictable self-destructive pattern or realize myself, here, able to act in any way choose? The cool part: indecision no longer exists from a self-honesty standpoint. Best for all is a no brainer.

Today, I realized that my writing on planning at the beginning of the year was not substantial. I have not become an excellent planner. I have not made a stable change of self, meaning I did not actually change. I rode an energized ideal for motivation to be a better planner. Probably like many others' new year's resolutions, the commitment fades until the next Jan. 1st. I begun to understand why new year's resolution do not work in this post, but I need to follow through with this.

I am realizing more and more what energetic motivation is because it isn't stable, it doesn't last, it's idealized, generalized and inconsistent. It's not in alignment with reality, it's a mental augmentation of what I would like reality to be. There is a separation through desiring a point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to expect that self-change is easy accomplished by one general investigation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become disappointed with myself when I fail to remove a program on my first try.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to my disappointment with discouragement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that process would be a simple plug and play program to erase all programs, not considering that I'd actually have to start living my commitments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to simply revert to old habits without investigating why or why I allowed the regression.
--
When and as I see that I am unstable within my Journey to Life because I am not giving myself the time to be serious with myself, I stop I breathe. I realize that I am here for me. I walk process for me 1st, then I can support others in their self process of/for themselves. I commit myself to taking the necessary steps to start walking this process for me alone. No more energetic BSing. Here, stable, real.

When and as I see myself being ineffective within moving a single point through process, I stop, I breathe, and I realize there is work to be done. I realize that going into the disappointment -> discouragement program, I am neglecting my responsibility of my self-living, here. I commit myself to focus on my breath, and write out the energy experience for specifically moving through process.

There is a growing understanding that Desteni I Process is not an automatic cure for all my problems, as I had initially hoped for it to be. Rather, it is actually serious life training in becoming a responsible human being. There is nothing automatic about reversing what we have automated within and of ourselves. I have to be here with every step. And I commit myself to doing whatever it takes to ending the internal resistance to living within every moment, within every breath.

Day 185 - Planning on the Fly and on the Ground

Yesterday, I revisited 'planning' and how I haven't been considering the all of the details of following through with a plan. I also found that I have been weak with the moment-to-moment planning, like with a very small window of time. Now, I'm thinking how I haven't really yet considered the planning of the long-long term. Maybe that's why I've been feeling so ambitious and disconnected from choosing one focus for my first career path. I actually haven't realized how extensively I've participated in half-ass planning my whole: The notion of being removed from my intentions, like not true to my word or myself and others.

The whole idea with moment-to moment planning is being able to structure my immediate plans for the next 5 minutes or less. For instance, I started this paragraph with the intention of explaining what I mean by moment-to-moment planning, something I'm not very well acquainted with. I usually just allow a mental flow to commence and run with it. On the fly, semi-editing my phrases and direction as I go. I do not intend to plan every action and movement...or do I? To not lose spontaneity, yet be self-directive. This is possible. I can plan to allow and not allow particular actions/reactions, and I can change my plans from a self-honest starting point assessment of my reasoning. I didn't plan the second half of this paragraph where I went into questioning myself, which leads me to believe that my curious character could use a little/lot of investigation.

Planning on the fly can only happen intentionally, or else I'm floating along planless or within this experience of vague planning. To bring the plan to the ground and consider all of the necessary aspects crucial to meeting the objective is the point that I haven't really been considering. Example: In college, I'd go out to party and meet girls, but often I didn't have an exit strategy that would successfully lead to sex. I remember imagining how bachelors must have a quiver of on-the-fly plans to be able to bring home lots of sex. Regardless of the scenario or the goal, without a plan, I get side-tracked more easily, I'm less confident, less of a leader of self and others. In my process of becoming the directive principle of this physical body, I plan to see where & when my mind leads me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not set a stable plan from moment to moment, and just going with the flow all the time, not realizing how this could get me nowhere quickly.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand how procrastination and vague planning is me abdicating my responsibility to be the self-directive principle of/within my life. Yesss, nailed it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to simply go with the flow and be lead by the feelings of grandeur, excitement, curiosity, and many others, not realizing that I'm not on track in accordance to my will.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not consider planning from a multi-dimensional perspective, where I know what I'll be doing in the next 5 minutes and how that relates to my day, month, year, life.
--

I could laugh at this photo for days. To me it symbolizes a lack of multi-dimensional planning awareness. To avoid ending up like this fellow, I commit myself to planning my day to include taking breaks and sharing moments with nature/people/pets.

When and as I see myself unintentionally going with the flow of things, I stop I breathe. I realize that I am currently not the directive principle of my life. I commit myself to exposing my mind's favorite habitual directions so that I may realize how I've been existing without awareness of my breath as life.

When and as I see myself moving through a vague plan or creating one, I stop I breath. I realize that I must ask myself: who am I within enacting this plan? Without awareness of self in each moment, I am existing as a programmed organic robot. I commit myself to stop casually roboting (rotting) through existence.

Layer by layer, I commit myself to revealing all of my programs, so that I can once and for all get with the program of life, here, on Earth.

Day 184 - Effective Planning Application

In the beginning of this year (on Day 162), I had set a new year's resolution to become a better planner. Well, I later became aware (on Day 174) that setting an intention to change self based on a timeline, is an externalizing abdication of responsibility, and rather we need to internalize the responsiblity to change oneself in one, all, and every moment. It's true.

openclipart.org

My intention to become a better planner has come about through my new physical, daily task list, but I'm not 100% consistent nor comprehensive. I paid the consequence for it today by spending the whole day typing up a project that was a day late. It wasn't all bad though. I'm currently retraining myself to be able to type faster and without looking, and appreciated the practice in using the right fingers for the right keys. And Anu's story is always so fascinating: Reptilians – How I Justified taking Control of Existence - Part 84 - It was a fun interview to transcribe, but for the Spanish folk who only get to read the translation, they're going to miss out on the entertaining voice intonations! It's worth a listen. And now I'm off track...which leads my mind to another planning perspective: Moment to moment style.

For now, I am going to just reconsider Planning Applied, as planned :)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not plan my plans as a honest expression of myself. I can see myself still setting intentions outside of myself in a way were they are only considered once or a few times in the beginning, follow through = non existent.

I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to consider the entirety of action steps required for the completion of the task in contemplation.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to place a plan practically within a time frame in the physical. Written or typed or drawn. Mental is not acceptable because my mind is unstable...Some simple tasks can be mental, but I guess this is a point of self-honesty in knowing how I am and who I am within setting an intention. I ask myself: Is it idealized and distant? Or practical and here?

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rely on my ability to get things done based within my past experience of successful procrastination. Here, I overestimate my ability and completely do not consider the consequences that came from procrastinating, i.e. less sleep, less freedom, stress, worry, general physical compromise (poor eating, nail biting, etc.), missing opportunities (social and otherwise: getting other work done, maybe attending a guest lecture). Point is, delay is not fun or cool, yet my mind likes to believe that "I can do it and get away with it, so I may has well."
--

When and as I see myself half-planning, I stop I breathe. I realize that a vague plan is really not at all a plan that is concrete or stable. I commit myself to re-educating myself on how to plan effectively. This will be done through practice and trial & error (where error's are examined).

When and as I see that I have failed to plan, I stop I breathe. I realize that I must have set another plan in separation of myself. I commit myself to not judge myself, and rather physicalize a new plan and to keep moving. To keep practicing carrying out plans is the only way I will establish the stability and comfortablity required to be an effective planner. It starts now, then, and whenever I need to do anything (which is all the time).

Here I plan, and Here I complete.

Day 174 - No more New Year's Resolutions

"Don't let change get date raped" - Matti Freeman

New Year's Re-Solution : Recycled Solution...

English: New Year's Resolutions postcard (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It's easy to forget that we committed to change so long ago (15 whole days!!)

This is a really interesting post for me. When I started this new year, I made 2 reasonable new year's resolutions: Be a more effective planner and, at some point, stop biting my nails. I didn't see the harm in utilizing a year change to motivate myself to change.

I have come to realize how by doing this, I compromise myself within change by pinning it to a particular date/time outside of myself, here.

This is a key.

Basically, if I change within the year's change, I am not only requiring an external definition for self-change, I'm also hindering my ability to change at ANY given moment.

This random free-use picture is nicely illustrating the perspective of someone ineffective, not armed with self-forgiveness, nor the awesome support offered by the Desteni group. Support yourself by investigating to understand real self-change and not end up asking: "What more can a poor man do?"

How about stop pretending to be a poor man and stand up for yourself by living real self-change absolutely!

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to change myself by depending on an externalized point, such as a new year, instead of realizing myself as the directive principle of self-change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the start of a new year can help me change, not realizing that only I can help me change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize the the moment of change exists in each moment of applying that change, not just one moment in the past/future.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to doubt my ability to change within one breath, every breath, as me standing up inside myself within breath always.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dis-empower myself through the design of hope, in that this year or this time, I will make a change because last time/last year, I wasn't able to.

When and as I see myself placing value within an something external to aid me in changing myself, I stop I breathe. I realize that true self-change happens inside myself and results in an everlasting agreement with myself. I commit myself to continue to acquaint myself with absolute change, where real, internal commitments with self stand eternally.

I commit myself to eternally standing within the principle of oneness and equality such that I will walk process until it is done, and then continue to assist and support all as me in realizing Self.

When and as I see myself inclined to make a new year's resolution with the rest of the people in my environment, I stop I breathe. I realize that this is a moment of separation where I am placing the responsibility of change, at least in part, separate from me by giving it to the new year. I commit myself to investigating why I haven't already made the self-change in question. I commit myself to writing out the pattern of the desired self-change so that I can walk within real self-change absolutely.

When and as I see myself doubting that I can make a change in one moment of one breath that stands absolutely in all moments within every breath, I stop I breathe. Here, I realize my direct responsibility for myself and what I've accepted and allowed myself to become. I commit myself to not shy away from my acceptances and allowances, breathe, and direct myself in alignment with what's best for all life, no longer allowing the energy to direct me.

I commit myself to showing others that the process of self-perfection is real & possible. That no solution to our real problems can be due to the change of a calendar date. That we are all individually responsible to stand absolute in self-change made within, as and for self. I commit myself to exemplify this process of self-change for all.

Thanks, you're welcome, and to all a goodnight.

Day 162 - "Prior Planning Prevents Piss-Poor Performance"

[Continued from yesterday]

So, I found that this generational wisdom from my father's father has many more variations, and this shook my dad's world a bit, haha. Regardless, the point is the same: Planning Promotes Performance. So, if I am here to perform to the best of my ability, planning is an essential ingredient that I have not been paying too much attention to. I've been writing a general, day plan/to-do list the night prior for about a month, but I've not been keeping myself accountable to complete each task...much like idealized intentions. It's time to get serious with each moment of planning, so that I lay down actual self-direction.

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This is the point of it all. I'm in my Journey to Life, figuring out how to direct myself effectively by forgiving where and when I am not, moving to the next layer of 'why' and continuing to locate where, when and why I've allowed myself to fear myself and separate myself from the oneness and equality that is of life, so I can ultimately stand as a stable expression of what's best for all. Cool, huh? Step by step, layer before layer, I walk for me / for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to plan my day without consideration of exactly how I intend to accomplish each item.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to shy away from my tasks because I set them as higher/greater than my actual, physical ability of what I am able to accomplish.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from my actual, physical ability, and create idealized to-do lists to which I react with overwhelmingness and end up stressed out and under performing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to set a plan and not follow through because of my habitual allowance of resistance guiding me toward the easiest route in life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give in to the resistance pull without making an effort to understand all of the energetic factors at play.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise my time and so ability to practically accomplish set goals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to set goals within a 'perfect day' and separate myself from the responsibility of the completing the work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to all around skip the planning step and wonder why my day didn't amount to anything, hiding from myself so I wouldn't have to face my irresponsibility.

When and as I see myself moving along my day without intention or grounded goal accomplishment, I stop I breathe. I realize that I must have an action plan to complete large tasks, and that time budgeting is essential to planning accomplishment. I commit myself to realizing a plan of action when I am just going with the flow.

When and as I see myself faltering on a plan, I stop, breathe and asses what's going on within me. I ask, "Why?" Upon finding the point of resistance, I conduct Self-forgiveness in that moment. I realize that all resistance isn't easily overcome in one moment, and I commit myself to writing out the entire construct of resistance, so that I may see what's going on, and write a new law for myself to live by.

When and as I see myself creating a set of idealized intentions, I stop I breathe. I realize that only a practical plan can be carried through into completion. I commit myself to standing equal to and one with my intentions, living with them, and bringing them to life by successfully utilizing them to complete any task I set as part of who I am.

In the morning, I commit myself to bundling together my continual intentions and work goals, and from that creating and action plan. If not in writing, then with self-honesty I will carry me through the completion of each prioritized task. I realize that when I am not on track, I must take that essential breath and collect myself in the moment to set the direction of self and go!

When I mess up, I stop and breathe. Set a stable agreement with myself in relation to my work, to effectively make tangible progress within a agreed amount of time.

When and as I see myself falling off the ball, I remember to breathe and regain balance through the actualization of self-responsibility as who I am here. Thanks

Day 161 - The 5 P's to Shape the New Year

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"So big plans for 2013?" I asked, while sipping on some coffee just after our family New Year's Day breakfast.

My dad quickly responds, "Well, you know what the five P's are, don't ya?"

Now, I've heard this bit of wisdom several times in my life, but this time, with a smile on his face and his hand held out, decides to quiz me. I stumble a little, but I end up saying it:

Planning

Prevents

Piss

Poor

Performance

And for the first time, I really resonate with it. Maybe it's because I had to recall it myself, but regardless, at this point my father has successfully instilled it in me. Now, it's up to me to do something with it. And that's just what I intend to do.

I've already been working with the point of delay, and there is still more to clear. I don't want to delay the onset of my life's work in this new year. Today, I have observed myself wallowing in the familiar pattern of delay that ensues when I have an overwhelming amount of work I'd like to be doing. It has become apparent that my lack of planning is contributing to my piss poor performance.

Thanks for the wisdom Dad.

SF and living commitment statements to follow tomorrow.