Day 458 - Quantity of Realizations per Moment

I really, really liked these two EQAFE interviews -



One of the most stubborn beings in existence shares about how we can measure our progress, in our life-awareness process. Before I get into my brief breakdown, I must say: there's a lot of information loaded into these two interviews! If you can afford to invest in them, and listen to them multiples times, you'll end up changing your life.

Why?

Understanding what "quantifying your process" practically means, can really help to quantify your process ;)

But what does it mean?!

For the longest time, the term "quantifying your process" has been used by beings through the portal to describe the benefit of  speeding up our process by applying various tools (writing, self-forgiveness, redefining living words, etc.).

When I first thought about this, I stubbornly adhered more to my scientific definition of quantification (to count or measure). But this definition just didn't hold up in many of the contexts that it was being used in, so I merged the definitions together as best I could. I thought it to mean  something like 'being aware of how much I've changed, and to within this see that my change process is working, boosting my confidence, and ultimately motivating me to move faster."

And for years, I was missing the point.

Maybe I was close or onto something with "quantifying process" as "a measure of self-change," but I can say that I'm very thankful, now that I'm getting clearer on it after listening to these 2 interviews, twice!

Currently, I'm best understanding it as: Quantity of Realizations per Moment.

How much self-realization can I fit into a single moment?

How often am I able to stop an emotional reaction and correct myself in real-time?


A direct quote from the 2nd interview:

"Essentially the overall definition of 'quantifying your process' is speeding up, fitting as many quantity of applications, or movements, or realizations of yourself into a moment that you can, to bring about actual, real self-change." - Veno

The interview goes on to to explain this further, giving examples and bringing it full circle to why it even matters to begin with. There are some other key points that stood out that helped me fine tune my understanding of this definition, namely:

Moving faster, by moving slower.

This is one of those statements I love, because at first, it makes no sense and contradicts itself. But then, I play with it. I start asking myself, "how could this be true?" And the phase opens up into a most powerful gift. It's a real shame how much common sense is missed because of a snap judgement.

And that's just it.

By slowing down, I can gather more information, that's logically obtained and organized. When I'm making a quick judgment about something, I don't engage the same faculties. It's often a rushed, overconfident opinion that I half-consciously churn out. When I take that big breath, and slow myself down, I am at greater capacity to intake and organize information, and so I have a greater capacity to make a sound decision.

When we take our time with something, we produce better quality work (like this post). The consequences of better quality work, is higher efficiency. A contrary example could be writing a bunch of notes so fast that they're illegible, and moving on from that so fast, that you don't even realize you can't read them until the day before the test. Taking longer, may seem to take longer from ONE perspective, but when you begin to do the math and see the quality adding up. 1 + 1 + 1 is more than 0.1 + 0.1 + 0.1 + 0.1 + 0.1 + 0.1 + 0.1

So now, you're already at a slower pace, having held your attention this far through my writing, but I invite you to slow down even more. Don't jump onto the next thing immediately. Take a moment, and ask yourself, "what's the best thing I can do next? Sit with it. "What do I truly want to do for me?" Maybe it brings up reaction because you're reminded of something important you've been postponing. Maybe it frees you up from a fast-paced day with little to no 'self check-ins.' Ask yourself about how you understand and relate to the phase "to move faster, move slower." Maybe you even have time to scribble legible notes about how you want to live into your next moments, and beyond.


From the best of ourselves, to the best of ourselves,

Cheers

Day 381 - Living Life: It's Not So Hard

This post is a general post about several specific instances where I found that applying myself wasn't nearly as bad as I was making it up to be in my mind.

• Public speaking
• Reading a book
• Writing a blog post
• Learning a 'difficult' subject
• Making a sandwich
• Waking up and getting out of bed
• and many other physical movements

In my past, I've avoiding this issue by going with the flow of it. If there was a discomfort in relation to doing or saying something, I wouldn't do it unless there was a really high reward, or a really negative consequence motivating me. Which brings into question: Was I every really making choices, or was I just being continuously swayed by my inner, reactive experiences to external stimuli?

As I've been walking this Journey to Life process, the aspect of my driving motivation has come into question often. I see that I'm moving from a self-interested, zombie-like human being, into a more considerate and responsible human being. Part of that process requires that I push myself to speak and act within an honor and integrity, even if I don't feel like it. So there is a battle between mind-consciousness generated feelings and emotions and other mind-consciousness generated feelings.

This is the nature of the inner struggle. It is the design of polarity that the mind uses to ensnare us in dilemmas that were not ever real to begin with. The solution is to create a structure for oneself. We are only ever a breath away from stabilizing in our physical body. The trick is to realize when we're in the throes of our mind reality, and this is accomplished largely by placing in a structure that serves as a self-supportive flag point to realize who self is in the bigger picture. As soon as the realization hits: STOP, BREATHE.

What I've noticed more vividly in recent times is that when we get to the point of applying ourselves within any physical movement, it's almost never as bad as we've worked it up to be in our heads. So, to begin phase one of implementing a preventative structure, I'm going to walk the self-forgiveness to disengage myself from the magnetic-like adherence of Self to/within/as Mind. Then the commitment statements serve to provide a new set of rules or structure for how I will direct myself when external stimulus comes in, essentially rewriting my inner script with awareness, moving from self-interested self-abuse into self-aware expression of what is best for all life.

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise my living expression through participating in the throes of consciousness when faced with a physical participation act that I have resistance toward. In this, I realize that the initial resistance is the first sign of participating in the energetic struggle of the mind. When and as I see myself desiring to do something else, something other than what I originally intended to do, I stop and I breathe. I commit myself to consider the biggest picture, to sit and write everything out on paper if I must, and to push myself through any resistance-energy that comes up so that I may focus on my responsibilities with the highest priority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my thoughts that come up as excuses and justifications are valid. I see here that with my self-generated excuses comes a specific energy signature that resonants: "this is true; I am right." Within that, I realize that I am automatically believing the thoughts that come up in my mind because I believe myself to be those thoughts, and I don't want to contradict myself! I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to decide to fight for my excuses to be right. Just because they came up first and automatically, doesn't mean that I must obey this initial thought. When and as I'm in resistance energy, and I see myself going into and with my first thought, I stop, I breathe. I remember that I am making a decision of who I am in a single moment. Do I really want to be with/as an excuse? Is that all I choose to express, my own limitations? I commit myself to breathe and sort out my decision process, in retrospect, when I see that I am not the directive principle of my life. I commit myself to applying the tool of asking myself: "Is this really what I want to being doing right now?" And answering this self-honestly.

When and as I see myself thrown into the inner consciousness struggle through a moment of fear, I stop I breathe. I realize that I am not an expression of fear, unless I am within and as the mind consciousness system. I commit myself to breathe into my physical body and push through the fear, no matter how uncomfortable it is. I realize that this commitment will require time and constant application. I realize that I will not be perfect in the beginning, and thus I commit myself to allow myself to fall and fail; however, I also commit myself to investigate the timeline of external and internal events that produced that consequence, so that I may walk the self-forgiveness and align the correction within me, so that next time, I am prepared to direct myself despite the energetic draw into a mental self-sabotaging experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience of inner conflict when faced with such a simple task as making a sandwich. I realize that the deeper issue within this is facing uncertainty. This relationship with uncertainty requires further investigation and structure. I commit myself to bringing this point through into writing in a future post. For now, I commit myself to recording the experience and flow of events when faced with uncertainty. I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize the mind entry point of uncertainty. More on this to come.

I see, realize, and understand that there are many versions of resistance energy. The nature, the experience, how they feel and the perception of the power they have over me - it is all what I make it to be, what I accept it to be, what I allow it to be. Within this, I realize that I must create a structure for each form of energy that scoops me up into a mind-based perception of reality. Every specific instance where I allow myself to become thought, feeling or emotion requires a specific structured flag point. At the end of this process I will only ever exist as a breath, as one and equal with all existence, as a participant who chooses to direct himself and his world within the common sense principle of what is best for all.

Until then, I commit myself to investigate everything and keep what is best.

photo source

Day 355 - Specifying Clear Direction

I recommend reading yesterday's post: Day 354 - Being Clear and Direct  for context here,

Today I asked myself "what am I missing?" I am looking for solutions to my not doing what I really need to do. The procrastination system is so ingrained that even as I see it, I still don't make the decision to stop the pattern and do what is best. Now, typically asking this question threatens the system and my mind goes into being overwhelmed or just coming up with any diversion to not face the reality of my physical (in)action. Why is this?..also a great question. I fear failure on many dimensions and it runs deep. That's one of the reasons I perpetuate my bad habits, because if I commit to stop and then don't, I fail. Thus a commitment places me in a place of vulnerability through my specific definition of what 'failure' means. It's got a negative charge, my ego has a positive charge (perfection, flawless), and I can't maintain that ego illusion if I takes risks of failure.

Interestingly, without taking any of these risks, I'll surely fail. You know how it goes:

"You can't succeed if you don't try." - everyone
"It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed." Theodore Roosevelt

That point is clear. What else am I missing? All that is coming up right now are the various dimension related to fear of failure. A perspective shift has to happen, and as I imagine myself moving without fear of failure, the point of allowing myself to be vulnerable is emphasized. Damn, I hate being vulnerable. That has to go. I'm limiting myself through a desire to be strong that I have placed in the hands of others perceptions of me. Meaning, I have long been defining myself by how I perceived others perceive me. Sometimes it was pure self-judgement (typically negative), and other times it was actual feedback from others (mostly positive)...That's an interesting dynamic in itself.

So what do I mean with 'Specifying Clear Direction'? My goal is to clarify the process of self-direction. By being ultra-specific with myself, I leave myself no backdoors. I am clear on all the relevant points of moving myself in a specific direction. I could produce 100 sentences using these 3 words to ensure that I am direct about specific clarity, but I'm going to allow some physical application and feedback happen while I patiently participate in the space-time continuum. For now, I commit myself to practice different forms of planning and investigating the what and how of individual task so that I am prepared to plan. BUT, importantly, it's not just about planning. The real meat is the execution. It's just to recognize that when execution isn't stable and consistent, that I must take a step back and introspect a little: "what am I missing?"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get locked into a perspective that I know what I'm doing, while simultaneously not showing it. All back and no bite, as they say. I'm done barking. I commit myself to start going straight to the bite, and when I hesitate, I investigate whats going on inside of me.

"He who hesitates is lost." - My Dad

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking risks that could compromise my picture perfect self-concept that my ego has accumulated to be over the years. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to continue participating within and as my ego. This must stop. Expanding my perspective to be able to see how my actions ultimately support what is best for all is not possible if I am stuck fighting to identify myself through, as and within ego. I commit myself to self-honestly exposing my ego-workings to myself so that I may continue accumulating the self-trust that is necessary to flow with clarity in my self-direction.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to be vulnerable in allowing myself to try new things, express myself without concern for how others may judge me, do something that might not work, create something that isn't perfect. Obviously there are several points related to my invincible character, and I commit myself to opening it all up and to start giving myself the space to fail, and experiment, and live free of fear of judgment, as am in the process of standing up and living by the principle of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to be extremely specific and clear with myself when determining my direction. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to walk myself through all the necessary points of understanding to be able to direct myself effectively, yielding physical movements that contribute to a specific goal. I commit myself to move myself through these practical guidelines that I've laid out for myself through today's writing. Until I am effectively contributing my daily efforts to what is best for life, I commit myself to investigating all of the finer details of myself, to remove the limited scope self-interest, and replace it with comprehensive consideration, a.k.a. common sense.

photo credit

Day 353 - Movement Responsibility

Related to this theme I've been working with the past few days, I am realizing that if I don't do it, it doesn't happen. While it may seem obvious, my life experience thus far has been very...automatic. I've just been going with the flow of life, and it's been working out fine, so why would I ever question it? Well, it's not working out so fine anymore.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i'll be okay at the whims of my external world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself believe that all I have to do is manage and control my reactions to be successful in life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for others to do or say something first so that I could manage and feel in control what happens next....okay, here my mind is spinning trying to get a handle on all the dynamics going on within this one point. This indicates I need to stop, breathe, and take on the first point first.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and control others to prevent them from having control.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being controlled by others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that by waiting for others to move first, that I have actually much less control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear moving first, being a directive principle, because then if others react to me in a negative way, then I would take it personally and risk shattering the idealized image of myself in my own mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and believe in the image of myself in my own mind, not realizing how this function of the mind has been limiting my self expression.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself desire to move through life and personal interactions passively, because then I don't risk hurting my ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that who I am in fact stands on principle and is consistent day to day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am is be determined by my external environment and the personal interactions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I am defined according to how others see me.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I decide who I am in relation to all circumstances, and in this, I am either reacting in a specific way that matches my past behaviors and/or experience set, or I am standing on a principle that I would live for all of eternity.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for moving myself without an external stimulus. Taking initiative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependent on external input to be able to move myself. Reaction only.

I commit myself to realizing my directive principle.

I commit myself to realizing I am the directive principle of myself.

I commit myself to realizing my responsibility to direct myself based on principle.

I commit myself to walking the process of becoming a responsible human being that stands for what is best.

I commit myself to start taking the initiative when there is nothing pressuring me to do anything, and within this initiative, I will do what is best.

I commit myself to showing others that I exist as a directive principle, as a person who does what is best for everyone without being told to do it.

I commit myself to stand up and do what is best.

I commit myself to stop allowing past patterns to continue to repeat and stifle my self expression.

When and as I see myself waiting for my environment to inform me of what to do, I stop I breathe. I realize that I can either wait and react to the external movement, or I can take the initiative and utilize common sense to direct myself, and the environment as an extension of myself, to a best for all outcome. Until this is effortless, I commit myself to constantly evaluate the integrity of my stand, and locate all points and patterns of weakness and petty self-interest. By doing this, I take responsibility for how I currently lead my life, and I commit myself to walk the correction into a stable living of the principle of what is best for all.

pic credit

Day 347 - Disjointed Daily Blogging

Ok, I breathe, and I write here.

I'm now walking through this specific point of resisting writing: I have one idea of what I had been intending to write, and then the moment passes, new stuff comes up, and I want to write about the new point, but the looming previous writing topic is saying, "No Dan, write about me first! You said you would." Haha.

And so what do I do? I get frustrated that I won't let myself write about the new point, and then I also build more resistance to the original point because I blame it for preventing me to write about what I want to write about. Oh my goodness, I am going to now disentangle this.

Red Panda ..? Interesting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an emotional charge toward my daily blogging when and as I get backed up.

It's a build up of points. I'm holding on to the original point for reasons I didn't specify for myself. Now, I'm speaking in general for all the times that I delay the writing. So this frustration is a consequence of not being consistent with my writing here.

What else adds to my backchat when faced with writing in my Journey to Life blog? Today I witnessed myself thinking that I am out of condition and that my writing will suck. It's as if I had never really transcended this writing self-doubt point, that I had just constructed a work around...When I first started blogging, I recall saying to myself, "whatever, I'll just push myself to do it, and then I just [automatically] get better at writing over time." So I kind of never really addressed this writing/communication doubt that I have; I only circumvented it.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted or allowed myself to see, realize and understand how I have been moving through resistances too quickly, in that I'm not actually considering everything that's behind and that composes the personality patterns that I live. Within this realization, I commit myself to slow down, investigate fully the nature of why I do and say things outside of the best for all parameter. It's these moments that I now choose to give myself the time to look at slowly, in self-honesty.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear taking too long with one point. Within this, I now realize that not wanting to take too long with one point is not only why I've been prone to rushing though process, but it's also a starting point source for the frustration I feel when I do take too long with a point. I commit myself to not quickly label general observations about myself, such as "So this frustration is a consequence of not being consistent with my writing here" as I wrote just a moment ago, but to instead constantly release my perspective to dive deeper and investigate the reality of myself at a level where self-honesty can actually be applied.

Slow down, figure out what works. When the solution isn't here, slow down, figure out what works. If I focus on the problem, I am likely using a narrow context and missing crucial factors that would assist me in reaching the solution.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to move to quickly through my daily living. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify that moving faster is better, and in this not consider the point of being thorough and here in every breath.

When and as I see myself not wanting to write my daily blog, I stop I breathe. I ask myself, "why?" I write. I get to the bottom of the resistance, and I stop the pattern. I commit myself to restructuring my behavioral patterns on a deeper level where I can be self-honest about what I've been doing and why.

I commit myself to stop fearing that I will not write well. I commit myself to giving myself the space to write a daily blog even if it's not perfect, neat and easily read by you. I commit myself to realizing that it actually doesn't take that much time when I sit down and write. I commit myself to breathe and move myself to write daily again.

Day 346 - Prioritizing Purpose

Continuing from Day 345 Aligning Purpose with Participation.

To sum it up in 3 words:  Best for All


In my own words, this means applying myself to do what is best in the context of everything, all points considered. This is seemingly a tough to ridiculous standard to hold oneself to. Now why is that? Ahhh, that is the question. To be or not to be, principled and living in equality?

I have experienced much difficulty in living the principle of what is Best for All consistently. Walking with Desteni for some time, I've reached a level of knowing that it's physical process to become a constant expression within what is best for all. A physical process takes time, but in the mind, I can think about myself rather quickly. This inflated view of oneself (ego) is just like anything else that becomes inflated: It pops. The illusionary bubble pops when the physical reveals what is reality.

So this idea that living a life in alignment with what is best for all is something difficult or impossible, is the result of investing in the idea of oneself in and as the mind. We as minds don't want to see oneness and equality for many reasons. Check for yourself. (Prompt: Why don't I want to see oneness and equality?)

When and as I see myself out of alignment with what is best for all, I stop I breathe. I realize that I am the director of myself, and that even the energies, feelings and emotions that I give in to is an acceptance and allowance of self as less than these energies. I commit myself to realizing the physical reward while letting go of the energy addiction that leads to procrastination.

This is where prioritization comes in. I had previously mentioned the importance of mapping out purpose in the physical, but what's more is that the priority system that must be used to discern what would bring the most benefit all to all must be based on the physical. When looking at priorities, there are many dimensions that once can take into consideration, and this is why 'Best for All' is so nice to work with. We check the alignment of purpose in a comprehensive and physical context, rather than the all too common, blind following of our own mind-energy movements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my directive power to my mind by doing what I feel I want to do, instead of considering reality first, as my starting point for self-movement. When and as I see that I am feeling powerless to the desire to procrastinate, I stop I breathe. I realize that I am a physical being, living by the laws of energies that I have programmed throughout my life, and I commit myself to breathing and dissipating that energy, and walking the physcial process of bringing my self-directive will into full application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I must slow down and break down the physical process of moving myself in a context that MATTERs. When and as I see myself becoming overwhelmed and unable to continue working toward my physically based, higher purpose, I stop I breathe. I realize here that I can redefine my problem, my context, and whatever I am facing in a moment by stopping the energy participation and having a real look myself in a physical reality context. Within this, I commit myself to mapping out my priorities to make sure that I am effective (first thing's first) and not compromising myself by just feeling my energy experience, and not having a comprehensive consideration of all relevant points.

Within all of this. I realize I am taking on a good chunk of my personality makeup. I commit myself to walk slowly and thoroughly through all of this, to not get ahead of myself and go into an energy reaction of disappointment/discouragement/self-defeat (another system that does not serve what's best for me or all. Mark for deletion.)

I commit myself to seeing my physical purpose, and prioritizing accordingly. The point of resisting the actual doing/work of each prioritized point is another system, of which I now commit myself to clearing, purifying. My mind no longer is allowed to direct me when I'm working on my physical reality purpose points. See ya!

Thanks.

DesteniArtists

Day 338 - What am I waiting for?

Why would one not walk process, especially when one understands the value? How is it that I can remain in my patterns of irresponsibility? What am I missing.

"Investigate: What are you waiting for?" said Bernard.

I took that and ran with it. It's a great question to ask oneself. And so I explored my innards with this question a bit and a few things came up from different contexts. What I found tonight is:

- not feeling comfortable within my effectiveness when applying self-forgiveness.
- embarrassment, which is ego related and multidimensional.
- fear, which I know is a nonsense creation of mind, except for physical, real danger.


In blogs to come, I will expand myself more with this question because it's such a nice way to expose the living patterns of limitation that I've accepted as my beingness. Once the investigation is to a satisfactory level of clarity, I'm ready to forgive myself in a specific and comprehensive manner. I may not get it perfect on the first try, hence the process, but I'm realizing something rather important: If I don't move myself, myself doesn't move.

So that leaves 100% of the change responsibility in my hands. Meaning, I must first go from realization, to understanding the change process, to actually implementing the steps of change. Now, the mind, I've noticed, becomes transfixed on the imagined end point. It's like being blinded by completion without physical movement, which is where real change must happen. So, the first step is to get properly oriented to the physical process of change, realizing it's going to take time. A commitment is required to change self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making a commitment because I have placed myself into a risky situation where I could fail.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I do not trust myself, and thus create a failure anxiety before I've even tried to change or live myself into a new direction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not just go for it, try, potentially fail, learn, and get up.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear commitment because I would take failure personally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take anything personally, not realizing that I've been living in the limitation of ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am defined by one failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my mind into the future and limit my actions based on how I see myself minimizing the risk of embarrassing situations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize the extent of how I use embarrassment to limit my self-expression.

When and as I see myself thinking about how I might fail at something in the future, I stop I breathe. I realize that the future has not happened yet, and that a projection is merely a possibility. I commit myself to start leading my life by principle, to start testing my projections, and shatter my self imposed limitations on how to express myself as living being.

When and as I see myself fearing failure or embarrassment from an ego platform, I stop I breathe. I remember to look at the situation practically and by principle: Is my participation what will be best here? I commit myself to stopping my thought and taking in all the relevant information of my environment with one inhale, make a principle based decision of my participation, and moving / speaking accordingly.

When a resistance is so strong that I move according to it, my pre-programming from the days of ego-oriented self-interest, the days of protecting my self-image, of fearing for it and wanting to nurture it, I stop I breathe. I realize that this is the old me, the mind-directed me. I commit myself to clearing this mental paranoia, for a moment and acting within the principle of what is best for all.

When this happens, I commit myself to write about the experience and investigate the resistance, discover the underlying pattern, the consequences that I've created through accepting and allowing this outdated program to direct me.

Once the writing investigation is complete, I commit myself to walk the process of self change.

Thank you.

Day 287 - Re-Inspired by Social Media Professionals

I spontaneously dropped in on a Careers in Social Media and Digital Marketing panel put on by the Career Services Department at University of California, Santa Barbara. I had just spent 2 hours in the Career Center, reading books and taking notes, and when I was leaving to go the bathroom and go eat, I saw the sign. It started 5 minutes ago, but the decision process was fairly simple. This is a line of work that very much interests me. So I heard them out for one and a half hours.

Here are the key points from the panel:

• Get real world experience
• Show work ethic and commitment
• longevity within an organization is good
• Know your Strengths!
• Tell a good story
• Write a good headline
• Content is Key for modern SEO
• write a blog (hehe)
• Hard skills vs. Soft Skills
• technical ability vs. human interaction
• Google+ holds more potential for global networking
• GPA doesn't matter as much as the chemistry and attitude at first interview

It was pretty cool to be in this stimulating environment of business professionals and successful entrepreneurs. I found myself taking a bunch of notes and with wide eyes. I was an invigorated with this feeling of inspiration and "I can do this." When the feeling died down, I realized that when I return home and leave this collegiate environment, I will be faced with having to create myself without this external stimulation. 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create a relationship toward other professionals that affects my work ethic and drive to become more. I realize this energy is seemingly great, until it fades and I am feeling the polar opposite. I commit myself to realizing when the negative polarity of inspiration is in effect and to investigate it and stop it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I will not be able to accomplish success without external motivation. I realize that I can make full use of resources, connections and mentors, etc. The idea is that my starting point is within me and my work ethic is a self-movement, not an energetic-feeling reaction. I commit myself to establish my work ethic in achieving greatness without reliance on inspiration in separation of myself.

Special Thanks to the Panel Members: Jacques Habra, Kim Clark, Masen Yaffee & Tina Reed Johnson.

Day 228 - Becoming Consistent with Focus

This is a continuation of Day 227 - Sticking to one mission at a time

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD).

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am more productive when I multitask, and so feel compelled to do more than one thing at once.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to be MORE THAN productive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that multitasking actually slows my productivity as I am not fully directing my side-tracking, rather bouncing from one thing to the next as if I am on auto-pilot.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to seek for and follow distractions when faced with a challenge or resistance within applying myself in the context of "work."

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to simply let slide my reactions of resistance toward work, not realizing that each and every single movement is my responsibility as a statement of who I am / what I allow.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to bite my nails, eat candy, play video games, do laundry, do other work, when I am experiencing resistance toward a task, such as this JTL post.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize my decision to delay a task.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not take responsibility for the timely completion of a task through the thought "there is plenty enough time," not realizing how I am compromising my ability to do the primary task AND other work more effectively.
 --
When and as I see myself abdicating my responsibility to direct myself through playing the Victim Character of some externalized force such as ADD, I stop I breathe. I realize that I am responsible for all of my directions, preprogrammed or otherwise. I commit myself to the continual realization that I am responsible for every movement I make.
..I have a long way to go, but accumulation is the only way. One bite at a time. 1+1+1+1...

When and as I see myself multitasking, I stop I breathe. I realize that I have chosen to multitask because of a desire to be ultra-effective with my time. I commit myself to breathing and questioning if I am diminishing my effectiveness within a particular task.

When and as I see myself on productivity auto-pilot, I stop I breathe. I realize that I wasn't consciously directing myself and completely unaware of my breath. I commit myself to create a plan to get back to my original task if the current task is worth the current attention. No more task, to item, to interest, to video, to curiosity, to other side-track. This behavior leads me down a path that I did not intend. I commit myself to move with intention.

When and as I see myself moved by distractions such as nail biting, candy, fun, interest, I stop I breathe. I recognize the resistance. I commit myself to breathing until the resistance fades and to continue with the primary task. I commit myself to pushing through that resistance, and if necessary, to investigate how I have created a relationship toward a given task that yields that resistance.

When and as I see myself abusing time by putting off responsibility, I stop I breathe. I realize that what's actually going on inside of me is a reluctance to face a responsibility, and I have entered into an energy of resistance and allowed it to direct me within tiredness or some form of laziness. I commit myself to sit and breathe and get back on track, finish my objective, and plan for rest.

The key in all of this is to have a plan. A day plan. An hour plan. A project plan. A plan for multiple projects. There's no limit to how I organize/structure my time. The important element is that I do organize and structure my time, effort, and even sleep.

I commit myself to planning when and as I see myself moving from task to task, unplanned.

photo from flickr cc

Day 215 - Where am I in Self-Movement?

As a continuation of the past two days:
Day 214 - Self-movement: Continued Expansion
Day 213 - Self-movement: Perspective

To sum up these days: I had begun to conceptualize being with the physical movements vs being involved in the mind while moving. Being in the physical, with the physical, and aware of the physical is the goal. Being in my mind while physically moving is how we get hurt and/or create unintended consequences. One of these mental layers is an effort overlay on physical tasks, where the delay/resistance steps in and makes things more difficult than they really are. It's these kind of energetic relationships that unintentionally sabotage our lives with. To get back to living, to walk the journey to life, we have to dispel these energetic, physical assumptions that are killing us. Here, I'm going to forgive the initial layer(s) of movement. From conscious distraction into physical awareness. This point will continue to unfold as time goes on.

cc flickr

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from my physical body.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am more efficient if I can think independently of space-time, where I allow my thoughts to wander unrelated and without regard for the present moment. Note: Big one; key attachment point to thought; multitasking.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to move my body in separation of my thought. Example: thought goes into an alternate reality while my finger nail starts finds its way to my mouth. Scary to think of how often this happens.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that it is too hard to stop this abusive pattern of nail biting, and I commit myself to reconsider this point with the knowledge that nail biting in itself isn't the problem, it's who I am behind the act that needs correction (i.e. the many dimensions of anxiety).

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to automate my physical behaviors without considering the starting point of the automation as what is behind the encapsulated energy relationship toward the physical movement(s).

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create relationships toward my physical movements. This opens up an overwhelming number of thought-trains. So much of me has been automated. Scary.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be afraid of the extent of which my life is augmented by energetic relationships toward the physical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not care that I have augmented reality and have chosen to live through this mental copy of reality, not realizing how/why I chose to live this way in the first place. There are many moments of which I encapsulated a physical experience into an augmented, energetic relationship. For examples: sex, money, truth, soccer, writing, work

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become overwhelmed by my existence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in separation of my physical body through my mind. The mind is so quick and entertaining.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the mind is me and superior to the physical reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to move my body without considering my environment in detail.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think I know where my body is in space-time, as opposed to a constant, experiential awareness of my physical body and environment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from awareness of breath into consciousness awareness on a regular basis. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to disregard the physical breath and energetically relate to it as 'less important than thought/energy.'

--

When and as I see myself in separation from my breath while exercising or doing any physical movement, activity or task, I stop I breathe. I realize that from a breath starting point, I am better able to consider reality and what is best for all. I commit myself to recognizing where difficulty arises as stubbornness of mind when attempting to regain breath awareness.

When and as I see myself moved by fear or anxiety, I stop I breathe. I realize that it's just a programmed, energetic relationship play-out and only I am too blame for for what I allow myself to exist as/through. I commit myself to taming the energetic relationships that have been automating my life through self-investigation, forgiveness, and these commitment statements. This process is me directing me in the physical, to move from energy into life awareness. Who I am in self-movement has everything to do with this entire 7 year journey to life. Please bear with me. And Dan, remember to bear with yourself.

When and as I see myself overwhelmed with my current self-existence, I stop I breathe. I realize that I can only work with myself one breath at a time. I commit myself to being patient with myself in this process of releasing energetic relationships that narrow my perceptual awareness of reality.

When and as I see myself existing in a dragged out head space, I stop I breathe. I remember that I am here within my physical body, one and equal with the physical. I commit myself to investigating the more apparent, repetitive thought patterns that I find myself participating in. For example, when I keep worrying about what others are thinking about me instead of remaining stable in reality, connected to my breath, I will examine the nature of my worry, the starting point, and related components.

When and as I see myself trying to take on multiple points, I stop I breathe. I realize that I can't walk all the points at once, and I also realize that it is more effective to laser focus in on one point. I commit myself to walking whatever comes up that is related to my top priority point that I'm currently walking. For instance, delay has been a predominate theme by choice so that I may more effectively walk process. And I'm glad to say I have seen a rise in my productivity levels.

When and as I see myself giving my directive power over to the mind, I stop I breathe. I realize that mentally induced experience is not really real, and that only through my acceptance and allowance of that experiential outflow, does it seem real. I commit myself to increase my comfortability with breathing through my energetic reactions so that I may calm down and find the source origin of the relationship.

This is a work in progress, and until my breathing application is consistent and my mind no longer dominates my awareness, I walk it out. My overall reflection of this post, I am been walking a large, broad point the past three days, and I intend to utilize this perspective (which is now more grounded) to reach for more depth and specificity of my favorite mental programs. Thank you(rself) for reading.

Day 213 - Self-movement: Perspective

Today, I kept thinking about this perspective for some reason. It's the perspective of the detailed effort involved in a physical movement or set of movements to get a task done. This is hard to describe inside of myself, so I'ma write it out!

This perspective that I am going to do my best to describe it seemingly common sense movement. Great example: Walking across the street. What does it take to do that? FIRST, it's a turning of the head in both directions to check for cars. Then, there is a step, followed by another step, etc, but even before that there is a neck movement to place one's head slightly off balance in the direction we want to walk.

One of my real life examples from today: I waxed my snowboard for the first time, so maybe that was another reason why my movement-perception wasn't so automated. From one perspective it takes a lot of work, almost an overwhelming amount of work (thus the $8 alternative of paying someone else to do it). This overwhelming perspective happens before any time is spent. When one is willing to dedicate the time, the series of steps naturally unfolds when the tools and the know-how are available. Heat the iron, drip the wax, spread the wax with the iron, scrape off the excess, clean up the excess, turn off the iron. Even this quick description I didn't immediately think about having to toss the excess wax in the trash. Heck, we could have swept the floor if we wanted to be thorough.

The point of sharing this perspective is to unfold the decision process and bring a little awareness to the physical. I notice that I make quite a few decisions based on the perception of all the effort required to complete a set of physical movements for a given task. This "effort" is a loaded term. Effort is relative. How I relate to work determines effort perception. The relationship indicates a separation, and I think with today, for some reason, I was more tuned into what is required to complete physical tasks in a simplistic perspective that was intriguing. Just doing what has to be done.

The inverse perspective (instead of this perspective), is that the movement is automated. Decision to cross the street does not normally consider ALL of the physical movements/effort because there is a relationship toward these movements. Tilting the head forward is easy. Placing one foot in front of the other by bending the knee in conjunction with a minimal effort abdominal contraction is easy. The only real consideration that happens is how many of steps it will take.If the road is 7 miles wide (i know, crazy) then we may choose not to cross the road depending on the reward vs effort of walking that far.

Yes, this is a broad perspective, but I was intrigued with insight. It's not a new perspective, but I've never written about it before. It's a perspective I am drawn to and the primary reason I like to study parkour, free running, and everything related to balance. I really like trying to understand and gain mastery over the physical movement through space time...I think I like it because there is so much room to learn, grow expand my body vocabulary. The newness of learning how to balance on a unicycle is some kind of physical intimacy.

free use flickr image

Again, the inverse perspective would be that I already know how to...make a sandwich, or say with yoga, when I already know a posture or a movement, it is automated. I make a decision, and my mind just put my body there automatically, and I have room to think about something else. Ah, here lies the crux of it all. Long distance running, another example, on a treadmill even. The know-how of each physical body movement is squared away in the mind, and it leaves the space for us to zone out and think other thoughts and daydream. With parkour, there is more of a continual challenge and adaptation to the environment that keeps me more present with the physical reality. The main flag point of mind participation within parkour is when ego and pride step in, especially when others are saying "ohhhh, so cool, great job!" And that's how people get hurt: trying to uphold a reputation of being good or great instead of practically considering the physical limitations.

Ok, join me for some self-forgiveness tomorrow. There's a lot to this perceptual shift, and I want to see how deep I can go in releasing my physical movement programs. Also, I will report on what I notice in relation to daydreaming (separation from the physical) that occurs while I'm boarding down the mountain.