I've investigated this topic enough to confidently restructure or redefine what LOVE is to me. I'll start by describing what love seemed like to me before I ever knew I could consciously define this inner experience, implying that I subconsciously defined it from the examples in my life.
In my Day 375 - What is Love?! (Baby Don't Hurt Me) post, I briefly described some of the experiences that I associated with LOVE, but there is more dimensions to it. One example that comes to mind is this sense of care and completion. A past girlfriend I had seemed to provide this feeling of fullness in my chest. It was very relaxing and enjoyable. I never experienced "head-over-heels" love or "This is the One" love. Every one of my relationships in my past never contained that perfect mutual experience of love that you see in the movies. I never fully trusted my feeling of LOVE because it was never solid or stable.
My journey through all the emotions and feelings associated with LOVE could be written about for a very long time, but the underlying theme was instability. The relationship dramas of positive feelings and negative consequences all stemming from desires and fears all seems like water under the bridge given a bit of time. This alone should be enough to question the validity of mainstream/Hollywood love, despite how real it can seem in a single moment.
The Desteni message rather harshly kicked me in the face with some common sense perspectives I resisted extensively while I was still enthralled in my pursuit and desire of perfect love. I wanted to be special and awesome, and then have that be validated by a significant other. Desteni put me in my place with the reality that I'm not just automatically special. I'm just a consciousness programmed (ego) to think I'm special so I can justify abusing and mistreating others in My Name. So in relation to LOVE, I was willing to give it only if I would get it in return. My love was conditional. I gave it to get a particular feeling I desired. Bluntly, it was a game. This is not LOVE.
LOVE is only real if it is stable and inclusive of all beings in the world. Think about it. Unconditional LOVE can't be defined or determined by just a few people in your immediate world and reality. Then it would be dependent on those people. Essentially, you would be blaming them for causing your experience of LOVE or HATE. To stabilize LOVE, it must be rooted in and as Self. It must be an expression of Self that is not dependent on external circumstances.
True LOVE is supporting Self and Others, equally as one, to reach our highest potential of ability and expressive capacity in the physical world. I am learning how to really LOVE for the first time in my life. In the agreement-relationship that I am now in, my life partner and I are supporting each other to specify and define our expression of LOVE in this world. It's a process, and it's taking a lot of work. It's not easy or automatic like a mind consciousness system instigated relationship love. It's a commitment. Whatever the challenge, we are able to communicate and find the solution.
"an ‘Agreement’ is Not something that is ‘Rosy’ in the beginning – it’s something that’s required to be ‘Worked-at’, ‘Looked-at’, ‘Lived’ ‘Moment to Moment’, in an ‘Complete and Total Understanding’." - From When are you Ready for 'Agreement'?
LOVE is physically supporting each other in our process out of the preprogrammed consciousness, to develop an equal and one relationship with our physical bodies, and world.
EQAFE:What is Sex - Love as Sex (Part 1) - Part 35
What is Sex - Love as Sex (Part 2) - Part 36