Related to this theme I've been working with the past few days, I am realizing that if I don't do it, it doesn't happen. While it may seem obvious, my life experience thus far has been very...automatic. I've just been going with the flow of life, and it's been working out fine, so why would I ever question it? Well, it's not working out so fine anymore.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i'll be okay at the whims of my external world.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself believe that all I have to do is manage and control my reactions to be successful in life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for others to do or say something first so that I could manage and feel in control what happens next....okay, here my mind is spinning trying to get a handle on all the dynamics going on within this one point. This indicates I need to stop, breathe, and take on the first point first.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try and control others to prevent them from having control.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear being controlled by others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that by waiting for others to move first, that I have actually much less control.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear moving first, being a directive principle, because then if others react to me in a negative way, then I would take it personally and risk shattering the idealized image of myself in my own mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and believe in the image of myself in my own mind, not realizing how this function of the mind has been limiting my self expression.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself desire to move through life and personal interactions passively, because then I don't risk hurting my ego.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that who I am in fact stands on principle and is consistent day to day.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am is be determined by my external environment and the personal interactions.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I am defined according to how others see me.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I decide who I am in relation to all circumstances, and in this, I am either reacting in a specific way that matches my past behaviors and/or experience set, or I am standing on a principle that I would live for all of eternity.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for moving myself without an external stimulus. Taking initiative.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become dependent on external input to be able to move myself. Reaction only.
I commit myself to realizing my directive principle.
I commit myself to realizing I am the directive principle of myself.
I commit myself to realizing my responsibility to direct myself based on principle.
I commit myself to walking the process of becoming a responsible human being that stands for what is best.
I commit myself to start taking the initiative when there is nothing pressuring me to do anything, and within this initiative, I will do what is best.
I commit myself to showing others that I exist as a directive principle, as a person who does what is best for everyone without being told to do it.
I commit myself to stand up and do what is best.
I commit myself to stop allowing past patterns to continue to repeat and stifle my self expression.
When and as I see myself waiting for my environment to inform me of what to do, I stop I breathe. I realize that I can either wait and react to the external movement, or I can take the initiative and utilize common sense to direct myself, and the environment as an extension of myself, to a best for all outcome. Until this is effortless, I commit myself to constantly evaluate the integrity of my stand, and locate all points and patterns of weakness and petty self-interest. By doing this, I take responsibility for how I currently lead my life, and I commit myself to walk the correction into a stable living of the principle of what is best for all.
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