Since the beginning of my relationship to the word Responsibility, I've seen it as undesirable and to be avoided when possible.
Something clicked in me when I was listening to a recent EQAFE interview (here), and I immediately started writing self-forgiveness. In approximately 5 minutes, I wrote:
Responsibility (response ability)
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear taking responsibility, in and as a definition of having to do unnecessary work.
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define responsibility as an undesirable and often externally imposed force upon me.
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that less responsibilities is equal to having a better quality of life.
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not see, realize and understand how I've got a tainted version of 'responsibility' integrated in me, and that I have continued to accept and allow myself to thus try to avoid responsibility.
- I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear responsibility as a risk, wherein I am held responsible if something goes wrong.
- I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that I am responsible for the good that I create in my world.
- I commit myself to realigning the definition of responsibility within me as:
- the ability or power to respond, in alignment with what is best for all.
- taking the initiative to leverage my awareness/understanding to create a best for all movement.
Several days later, I continue:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I'll mess something up, creating self-doubt that leads to inaction.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can dodge responsibility, within this not seeing, realizing or understanding my responsibly within the choice to participate or abdicate.
Herein, I establish the measure of my personal responsibility within and as my utmost expression of effort in creating that which is best for all.
By this measure, I commit myself to apply self-honest introspection when and as I see me abdicating my ability to respond as/in my highest expression. Else, I commit myself to breathe, look, and direct best for all outflow.