One Man's Journey to Life: process support

Showing posts with label process support. Show all posts

Day 436 - Breath Prayer: Introduction & Report 1

What is a Breath Prayer?

It's a moment of focused awareness on breathing. Sitting or lying down comfortably, take a minimum of 5 minutes to focus on the body mechanics of breathing: in and out. When and as thoughts creep up, stop them, and return awareness to breathing in and out.

What is the purpose?

To get acquainted with the physical body. This task can prove to be difficult as we are constantly living in our minds, day in and day out. Giving this moment to ourselves helps strengthen our connection to our body, while also giving our body a moment's rest from the mind consciousness system.

Why is it significant?

This practice is helps strengthen our focus and self-directive willpower, in and as the physical. We are so often in our mind, choosing our actions from within a constant barrage of thoughts, that slowing ourselves down, into the pace of the physical, is a sincere challenge, especially at first. Beginning to realign our starting point of consideration into the physical, as our body, is a tremendous gift to self and all. It's a path toward living common sense, for real. Toward considering what is best for self, and all, and then acting on it. A stable body, aligned within physical reality, would not incite war through anger, as anger is a product of mind. Practicing breath prayer for a minimum of 5 minutes a day is an act of showing ourselves and that we do not have to continue accepting and allowing the mind to direct us. Our physical is more powerful in fact. Get to know the power of a single breath, and stop stressing out.

My experience after 3 weeks of practice:

In the beginning, I did find it very challenging to not entertain the thoughts that came up. I would experience some of the thoughts as more important/pressing, so I'd allow myself to get distracted by them. Several times I ended up doing 20+ minute sessions of this exercise because I'd get frustrated and feel like I had to start over (perfectionism).

I did this exercise an average of about 5 days a week thus far. My goal was 5-7 times a week. Remembering to actually do this exercise is a deliberate decision. The more I understand the significance and purpose (I'm sure I've only scratched the surface above) the easier it is to make the choice to slow down and make the time for this exercise. It seems that sparing 5 minutes should be easy, but I'm very used to rushing around in my day/life/mind. Breaking that momentum is as simple as a decision.

I've noticed that the effects of doing this permeate the rest of the day. The pace of my consciousness seems slower, and I think this supporting me to make better decisions all day long. I know that the more I play with this, the more gifts with be unveiled.

Since starting, I have found it becoming easier to focus on the in-breath and the out-breath. When the thoughts arise, I simply move back into directing my breath flow. I am my body. I've also noticed that I can make it harder or easier for myself BY CHOICE. If I'm not willing to commit to the 5 minutes (because I have so many other things going on to think about), then I can almost be sure that I won't make it.

This practice requires focus and dedication, and rewards us in kind. I encourage all to try this. Or if you have already, I dare you to do it for 21 days straight.

...I'll take that dare myself! Thank you very much. Report 2 due on November 26th.

Day 428 - Unconditionally Walking Process Support

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only support myself conditionally in process - based on the preferences of my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get sleepy when I sit at my computer to work on my DIP course material, and not recognizing this as the veil of resistance it is, and believing that I don't have enough energy to get through it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I need more energy to move through resistance, instead of realizing the strength I have within a single breath.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to prefer to walk process only when it's easy and convenient to do so.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge the support I receive as inadequate or irrelevant, and so do not slow down to consider what I can learn from anything and everyone in my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be arrogant in my process, believing that I do not need to be supported.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I'm so far ahead in process that I don't even need to support myself! Wow.

I forgive myself for NOT accepting and allowing myself to clarify how to walk humbly and express myself within humility.

I forgive myself that I have NOT accepted and allowed myself to correct my process-arrogance in real-time, by shifting into the expression of a humble learner, in all cases.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to NOT see, realize and understand the consequences of believing that I rarely need to support my process because I believe I can rest easy because I've made the right decisions to get me to where I am now, as if the hard work = the decision to walk process and that's already behind me, not seeing, realizing or understanding that the decision to walk process is here to be made, unconditionally and in every moment.

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When and as I see myself feeling like I don't need to or don't want to walk my process support, I stop, I breathe. I realize that I am here to walk process support in all ways, always. This is my decision. I commit myself to make this decision, a living decision to apply myself, within and as my breath.

When and as I see myself beyond or above any potentially supportive information, I stop, I breathe. I realize that I can learn or specify my process regardless of what I have walked thus far. I commit myself to be patient and thorough as I move through information.

When and as I see myself believing that I am so far in process, I stop, I breathe. I realize that all are here in one process, walking equally, and that while I continue to work and specify my knowledge and application thereof, I only become more effective in my process support. I commit myself to STOP comparing my process to any other individual's process, as there is only one process here.

When and as I see myself believing that I already know what a word like humble means, I stop, I breathe. I realize that just knowing the word is far different from living a word. I commit myself to redefine humility and play with it in my expression until I am satisfied with my living application of this word.

When and as I see myself thinking that I don't need to listen to this or that eqafe interview, I stop, I breathe. I realize that the information coming through the portal is always relevant to me and my process, as the beings coming through are sharing themselves to support us to specify information in many ways, so that we can in turn walk our process more effectively and support what is best for all. I commit myself to listen to the eqafe recordings that come out regardless of the title and description and stop allowing my conscious judgement of personal relevance to get in the way.

When and as I see myself getting sleepy when facing myself in my process, either through sitting to write a blog or download an interview or walk my DIP material, I stop, I breathe. I realize that this energy of resistance can be deleted in a single breath with a simple decision. I commit myself to move myself into that breath and decision, and to not allow resistance energy to prolong my process through the mind. There's many many layers to get through, and I don't have time to sleep more than is required.

Day 395 - Remember the System Demon Portal Interviews?

Desteni - interdimensional portal, system demons

Desteni Portal - System Demons

Credit to Demons Daily on YouTube
Ask questions on the Desteni Forum

Day 348 - Ctrl+Shift+SF Cheat Code

I originally sat down to write this post about how I've been doing the typing of self-forgiveness and kind of cheating within it, but then I realized that this point is not just about that. There is a depth of reason for why I have not yet shared this point and it comes down to: guilt.

Slowing it down, instead of saying "I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to..." (typed as such keystroke by keystroke), I had been using a program to do this for me so all I had to do was hit a key combo.

So ctrl+shift+a = I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to

& ctrl+shift+q = I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to

And then I just alternated as I felt like it

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to .....

and I never allowed myself to really admit to myself what I was doing by using this shortcut. And I certainly didn't ask anyone else because then I would risk exposing what I didn't even want to admit to myself. That my little time saving SF shortcut was actually preventing me from moving through the self-forgiveness as an authentic self expression. And just as in process, moving slower is moving faster, and moving too fast is obviously slower in the long run.

So when I finally did muster the courage to ask my DIP buddy about this point, she laughed. Then I laughed too. She just confirmed what I already knew on a level within me where self-honesty was not yet functioning. This happened just over a month ago, and it's been actually a nice change. It might take me just a tad longer, but the quality of the SF statement has changed from a simple surface point (the kinds of points addressed when moving too fast through life), so a bit more specific and thorough (the ideal way to live, with common sense and self-honesty).

I needed to formalize this point above and had been meaning too since I had that chat with my buddy about it, but there were other points that I wanted to write about. I actually started getting backed up on so many points that I wanted to write about that I started a list of blogs to do, but after writing yesterday, I've decided to write about what's here, what comes up in a moment. And this automated SF shortcut was one of the first things that I had long ago placed on the list of blog topics to do, and I'm in "getting things on the list done" kind of mood these days. So now,

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to cover up and hide the fact that I was doing self-forgiveness on an automated level because I wanted a fast and easier way to do this tedious process. I see, realize and understand now that this entire process (not just self-forgiveness) has no fast and easier way. It's a simple equation of 1 + 1 + 1 ..., as a physical process of accumulation. A short cut is a mind thing...and oh my goodness how I could (and later will) expand on this....McDonalds...saving money...porn....you name it. So, I commit myself to continually remind myself to slow down and look at just one point at a time, and see all the movements and relationships that bring about a particular behavioral design.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to move fast.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to use the shortcut key combination program to quickly rush through the repetitive part of a self-forgiveness statement. In this I realize that I am not moving with the words as I type them, and the effectiveness of the words that I've automated is lost in a moment that never existed. I commit myself to type out each letter of my self-forgiveness statements, unless I have a clear, directive decision to read the statements out loud in the circumstance of structuring a sounding session.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to move fast and do multiple points in one blog, and within this I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that if I do not address all the points that come up within a single point at the same time, that I will lose the opportunity to do so. So, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing the moment overnight while I am sleeping. I also forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear becoming overwhelmed with many/other points and thus become ineffective.

I forgive myself for becoming overwhelmed, and then accepting and allowing it.

When and as I see myself wanting to address multiple point in one blog, I stop I breathe. I realize that by slowing down and being thorough with just one point could take a lot more time than initially anticipated. I commit myself to being thorough with one point, and as other points come up, to jot down a note somewhere and come back to it in the next blog or whenever. I am the directive principle of self here.

I commit myself to write about the guilt realization within this, tomorrow.

photo credit

Day 340 - A Fall in Writing Commitment

Why have I been justifying the reduction of my direct writing of this blog? I have been "too" busy because of external factors that I am apparently a victim of, and within that I am showing myself that I do not yet understand my responsibility to direct myself within my external environment.

Another justification is that my decision to write a post or not has ramifications for solely myself. That I will only be delaying my process by 1 day..maybe 2, or 6. I've found by skipping a day, I have a much easier time skipping the next as well. Now, I've heard I'm not alone in my own little world inside my head, but I realize what that means. It's like I've been considering only what directly affect me or my self-concept and THEN NOT REALIZING IT. How is this possible? The feeling. It feels good, like a successfulness energy reward in the head.

This means that I've been walking my process according to how I feel. This is not an effective starting point because it is not stable for one, and for two, it's self-interest within a limited contextual framework of personal memories. It's a rather peculiar thing to realize myself as ego, as the 'I' that has formed relationships to a limited set of experiences that constitutes who 'I' am. This limited self-definition as a starting point for all my social interaction and self-movement is highly ineffective.

I realize now, there is an important thing to consider: Acting according to how I feel without investigating the reasoning, without checking the physical reality context, I am dooming myself to a fate of a reactive state.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to indulge in a mental state of 'all that matters is me' not realizing my standing up in the context of all life. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the meaning of what I am doing and who I am in relation to this Journey to Life process.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I do not need to care about others within my process because all that matters is me and my relationship to myself. I've been investigating myself through my writing, and I ignorantly took a perspective that my motivation for doing this blog was for me alone, and that when others read my process, that they may benefit in their own isolated self process. There was a deliberate disconnect between my writing intent of self-support and the potential ripple effect of supporting others. I knew it was there, but I realize my responsibility in the context of all equal as me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to convince myself that my blog exists only for my benefit, and even though others may read it, I had separated myself from you the reader, not realizing how my existence is directly affecting you. This point was to protect my ego. To imagine that you are not significant, that the number of views or supporters that I get is just a number in a popularity contest, that IF I were to fail, I wouldn't have to take it personally.

So, interesting point that just opened up here. It's a big one and deserves additional attention. To take it personally within a context of social hierarchy. Basically, my starting point for my writing was: Will this advance or erode my social hierarchy position. And in this context, I've placed a failure to write quality blog posts in a reactive mental framework that protects me from taking it personally. It's like as I participate in this ego/self-definition polarity point, I aim for the positive, and mentally neutralize the negative to not have to take responsibility for my words unless I get positive feedback.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my participation within the Journey to Life group as personal endeavor only, by placing others in separation of myself to function as just a number or impersonal data to boost my ego within some mental game of wanting to win.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to win. Within this, I realize that it's not about winning. This is the old program that I placed in my mind when I defined and designed my relationship to 'success'. To reprogram myself into my updated version of 'success' that exists in alignment with what is best for all, I commit myself to continue deconstructing all of my old inner personality relationships to words, so that I may realign myself and my active living, my participation here as one and equal with all life to simply be what is best for everyone. I only have to give up my fears.

So, today I've unwrapped my relationship to blogging a bit more. I can tell that if I'm going to really walk this process, which is a decision I've already made, I'm going to have to actually live my written words. That is a critical aspect. A disconnect here will not produce the results that I expect from myself. I commit myself to realizing that this is a lived process where I take my words and live them, I investigate my past experiences and the relationship between them and self, to discover who I am as a limited expression of mind, to embody the living expression of self as life.

Enjoy the process.

One Man's Journey to Life