Day 311 - My Favorite Band

I've been waiting for this day. It caught me off guard and I'm having trouble with my writing flow. How do I convey the passion I've been feeling while listening to this music? How can I pay tribute to the band in a way that...I've got it. I'll just litter my post with links to some of my favorite songs and describe how 311 has played a significant role in my life.

Even though I only started really listening to 311 in my second year of college, it feels like I've been listening to them for eons. I was obsessed, and any true 311 fan would understand exactly why. I can't do it justice, but to give you an idea why: They mix the perfect groove with truth resonant lyrics. I really enjoy the melodies, guitar riffs and super sweet base lines, but it wasn't until I started listening to the lyrics that I started to reconsider everything. I became obsessed looking for verbal insight in the midst of awesome music.

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I didn't begin to crack the code when my friend showed me this song in high school, but the second time 311 popped into my life was right in the middle of my "spiritual awakening." It was music to my ears in every sense of the expression. I could try to go on and elaborate about how great the music felt in combination with the insightful lyrics, but I'll just leave you with this example: Sun Come Through.

When I came across the Desteni message of oneness and equality about a year after my 311 obsession kicked in, I kind of felt like a dear in headlights. Among other spiritual quests prior, 311 prepped me for what I was about to hear, yet at the same time, there were contradictions. My curiosity, open-mindedness, and definitive quest for truth kept me going in this pivotal moment along my spiritual path. Desteni was claiming all the enlightenment and ascension stuff that I was beginning to get deeper in (see post 217) was futile. I was lucky I didn't react and reject it. I held the contradictions in limbo while I continued exploring: How could equality be a living embodiment? The oneness part was easy. Even 311 is down for the unity!

That the gist of it. I continued with my curious investigation, my spiritual awakening turned into my Journey to Life, and it turns out I was strong all along! :)

Now I'm here to share how I got here with each post I publish. It's for you to walk with me. We're actually all in this journey to life together, equal and one. Wherever you are on your path, we are all "nothing but a walking sack of Earth," and thus individually responsible for our collective direction.

Will you be part of the peaceful revolution, or just another beautiful disaster?

Thanks for everything 311!







P.S. Thought I should mention Inner Light Spectrum <   my favorite song, barely.

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Support the Equal Life Foundation and check out the Equal Money platform. Tons of insight can also be garnered in the Desteni forum.

Enjoy Life & Be The Solution.

Day 218 - Truth-Seeking Personality Design

I'm meeting a lot of resistance with this point. I wanted to simply open up my relationship to truth, and spent 2 days collecting my approach and ended up posting a prelude yesterday. I'm finding it easy to become overwhelmed with the extent that I have defined myself as a seeker of truth, but this point of overwhelmingness/too much is a mental design I'm quite familiar with at this point.

I will not accept and allow myself to be stopped by this puny little program of resistance any longer. When it does, I stop I breathe. I realize the statement I am making of who I am when faced with and moved by resistance. If you have had enough of this laziness energy steering your life, I recommend you research what is really going on in your head so you are prepared and then able to stand up and say no to this habitually ingrained mental pathway. This EQAFE interview was super supportive on the resistance point as well.

On with it:

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that I am not the first/only person to seek Truth and that many religions are in place because of this innate desire to understand what is true.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that truth and deception are polar opposites of the same system, and thus are one and equal. This is how religions have been able to deceive with truths.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that truth is mystical and somewhere out there.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have been seeking truths outside of myself because I did not want to face the truth of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to search for a beautiful truth that is powerful and superior, so that I could use this truth to become powerful and superior, so that others will be attracted to my truth-saying.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be completely ego invested in my search for truth so that others, specifically my skeptic peers, will eventually submit to my superior knowledge of what is true and what is deception.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have not cleared up my starting point within my relationship to Desteni, and have carried on within separation to satisfy my thirst for truth so that I may be right and others wrong.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that I had been defining my self-worth through my ability to acquire True truths that are superior, and that within this, my starting point self-definition was inferior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am worthless and inferior if I do not obtain something superior. I thought that superior truth would make me superior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not trust the Truth of myself in reality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire to utilize truth to deceive others that I am superior.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that what actually true exists here in every moment of my breath.
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When and as I see myself in a belief system design of truth, I stop I breathe. I ask myself "who am I within this?" Why do I stand in a relationship to truth? I realize where I have separated myself from truth is often ego-related desire to be right/superior. I commit myself to bringing myself back to my breath to understand the truth of myself for me in that moment.

When and as I see myself in separation of the truth from the starting point of lacking knowledge about who I am, I stop I breathe. I realize that self-truth does not exist outside of myself, that is deception. I commit myself to stop deceiving myself and others with knowledge based truth. I commit myself to understanding self-truth and sharing it when appropriate as when it's supporting what is best for all.

When and as I see myself desiring to be special and superior so that other's will follow my and confirm/validate my self-worth, I stop I breathe. I realize that desire for truth is self-dishonest. I commit myself to investigating the truth of self as what is here in each moment of every breath.

When and as I see myself arguing with a jaded skeptic over what is truth, I stop I breathe. I realize that what is best for all in this scenario may be walking away, as the energy of mind has diminished shared ability for mutual understanding. I commit myself to only speaking of the self-truths I have found when others are willing and ready to listen. This will be clearly indicated by others asking questions. And unless, I have walked this point of understanding, I have no business guesstimating answers based on referencing a limited information database within my memory. This is abuse of communication; a severe reduction in the value of the spoken word. Self-dishonest, self-compromise.

When and as I see myself motivated to find truth because I want to prove others wrong, I stop I breathe. I realize that my starting point within separation will distract me from self-honestly investing my self for myself. I commit myself to bringing my starting point and motivation back to self before proceeding with my self-investigation.

I write. I open up my mind for me to see. I move from the starting point of my breath to support myself and others in discovering the truth of self from self's perspective in self-honesty. Consider the truth character officially opened. TBC

photo from deviantart

Day 217 - How I Was Able to Hear the Desteni Message

I vividly remember when I voiced my first philosophical question when I asked my mother,

"Why do I see out of my eyes?"

Alas, she knew not.

From that point on, I believe I had grounded my motivation to find answers within this reality. A burning curiosity set in. I needed to understand, and this developed into a desire to be understood. And so was born the Truth-seeking personality characteristic that became central to my existence. My curiosity of existence was largely, in part to my parents unobtrusive religious orientation. Perhaps, for that I am most thankful. When I got involved with the after school church groups, I could connect to socializing and playing the drums much more easily than I could with God. For whatever reason, I received no internal feedback from prayer. Maybe it was a case of underdeveloped faith, I don't know. All I knew, was that I could go home and get more tangible answers from my computer.

The internet search engine had been expanding my awareness since my pre-teens, and I to be quite good with keywords. Nearly all of my inquiries yielded a satisfactory answer, and I was solving problems left and right. So began a gradual process of investigating the unknowns. Hypnotism forums lead me lucid dreaming, which would be followed by a mutual interest in quantum physics with one of my high school buddies. What the Bleep do we know? lead me to The Secret and Law of Attraction. LOA was the beginning of my energy/spiritual obsession, buying up books like that was all that mattered. At this point I was firmly on a path of truth-seeking, addicted to finding information about metaphysical mysteries.

My spiritual ascension process become more expensive as I got more serious with it. I vividly remember the moment when I chose to pull the trigger on a $300 investment on this white powered gold product for "DNA activation" that would help me ascend more quickly. I had justified this cost in the name finding Truth, spiritual greediness, and a desire to be greater so I could ultimately better help others. Another $100 on some sacred geometry posters that were to be placed under the mattress and increase my vibration and learn my karmic lessons faster while I sleep. This was the capstone of my monetarily induced spiritual path.

December 2009, I find some rather intriguing YouTube videos of the portal. By that point, I had believed myself to have truth-seeking vision enabled, and when various beings spoke through this girl's body, I picked up on the sincerity in the voice and facial expressions. I became kind of obsessed in that same knowledge seeking way and spent the next two months just absorbing these videos. When I cross referenced my perception of sincerity from the videos with the key message of oneness and equality, I knew that this wasn't some new-age cult seeking to abuse my attention and take my money. Desteni put into perspective that I was already in the new age cult of spirituality, spending time, energy and money on becoming MORE.

Stopping my preprogrammed destined life of spiritual ascension was tough to let go of, but it was increasingly apparent that separating myself from others through raising my energy levels was not the solution to this world's problems. If any of the past truths lead to a actual solution that brought about world peace, then how could we still be in such a state of strife across the planet? I had realized, my personality had essentially been done before, and that was rather unsettling.

So the moment came when I asked myself: Do I just go onward with my promising life (my successful track record and ability to suppress fear and obtain desire), or do I really consider the implications of Oneness and Equality?

My favorite spiritual book at the time was called Oneness, but that book spoke nothing of practical equality. It fit right in with my ego design of wanting to become more, to become powerful, enlightened, special. It felt good to read it. While this Desteni stuff, not so pretty. More serious, and intriguing with the portal and all. At that point, I was not ready to take responsibility for all, as one and equal. But I also couldn't just turn a blind eye to this unfavorable message or else I would have to also throw away my defining personality characteristic of truth-seeker. And I did consider that. I recall thinking about other, more mundane life/career paths.

I had decided. No way was I going to let truth that I don't like stop my truth discovery process altogether. That would be shameful. And I just couldn't bear the thought consciously moving forward with intentional ignorance toward a point of truth that I had glimpsed and not liked. Cowering in fear wasn't my style. Fighting from fear wasn't either. I was all about understanding, and I didn't understand oneness and equality. So I patiently continued my investigation of the Desteni material.

For additional perspective

Eventually, I learned that I only I can walk my individual process of self-investigation, and that Desteni is only a point of assistance and support. And without discovering Desteni, I would never have started this proactive and comprehensive self-honest investigation of self through writing. I saved a lot of time and money because Desteni interfered with my destiny, and in turn, I strive to save us all time and money by writing my Journey To Life publicly. Investigate. Read. Enjoy.


See you tomorrow for the dismantling of my truth-seeking personality design.

Day 192 - Why the Excuses?

"I'm so physically exhausted, I'd rather not write today."

My fingers can still move, so this is obviously an excuse. Why is there resistance? Well, at least I know that discovering why isn't more important than just pushing and willing self to write. Maybe the resistance is related to my initial excuse, as in, "I've already worked hard enough today." But, I can still do more, so in self-honesty, I'm dealing with laziness and excuses.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to uses excuses to attempt to justify my laziness. I realize that in a moment of self-honesty, I cannot cheat myself with a selected perception.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to hide from myself that I am being lazy within my reluctance by readily accepting any available excuse.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take the easy route and do the bare minimum. I have realized that this won't cut it in this process of self-purification. The bare minimum work ethic really has no place here. Let's open this up a bit:

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     I have become well acquainted with just doing the bare minimum in relation to school work. Why? Because that all I had to do to go unnoticed and be successful. Also, I justified this brand of work ethic through the perception that school wasn't for me, but forced upon me. When I got to college, I was able to keep this up through the perception that this system only serves as a required portal into the society of 1st world people that were accepted by other 'higher ups.' I had always been more focused on my own personally directed line of study as it was for me and more interesting. I thought that I could be in and of the system, yet rebel against it at the same time. I did this by advancing/applying my 'smarts' toward innovation, creativity, dreamy business plans, and most importantly the spiritual/unseen realm. Interesting. I think this orientation came from wanting to be the best and having failed at that in the later years of school, I was trying to get my edge, my advantage over my peers, and I went for this by studying the less studied stuff. School was too mainstream and I wasn't going to be able to break free of the constraints if I stuck with that program. So, I decided to just get by and justified this by really applying myself elsewhere of my choosing. The problem is, now that I know where and why to focus my attention, I carried over the habit of procrastination, excuses and doing the bare minimum. And now, I know why.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to externalize process.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have made this process about something outside of me in/as/though the institutionalization of Desteni.

Oh boy, key realization.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame Desteni for my choosing to walk this process. By stumbling into their videos on YouTube 3 years ago, and not being able to discredit their message without being self-dishonest, I created a decision framework where I externalized my choice to continue: I remember specifically thinking "well, I've defined myself as a truthseeker, so I don't really have a choice to stop now." And this is the departure point. Other externalize reasons such as "this needs to be done for others," somewhere allowing a disconnect where 'best for all' conceptually didn't consider me. I tried to layer over this, but I never addressed my initial externalized framework for deciding to carry forward within my relationship toward Desteni. I never actually took a moment to undo the relationship frame to Desteni. Desteni is still separate from me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to relate to Desteni in separation of myself, not realizing that in doing so, I made my process about them and their 'noble' and 'higher' mission. In doing this I, I allowed the bare minimum framework to plug right in, as my self-directed pursuit of Truth had turned into something more.

To be continued...